My ex is the most evil manipulative...

[McFadden]

I know LS is (rightfully) sick of my situation with my ex being rehashed, but some things have just happened and I feel like writing about it. If no one wants to read it they don't have to. I also realize this isn't exactly a Second Chance situation, but I'm not sure where to put it.

 

Since I ignored my exe's contact lately I knew it would only be a matter of time before he really got in my face, now he has.

 

Short back story, I was friends with this guy Chris all through high school, then after graduation we both tried out for the Air Force. He got accepted and I didn't, because of some health problems. So he went and I went to college with my ex (who I was just friends with at the time) and our other friends. I was writing letters back and forth with Chris for a while, but eventually we fell out of touch. Its been about a year since. Then recently, he found me on Myspace and sent me a message telling me that he was coming home on a leave, and that he couldn't wait to see me. So we met up and things immediately got like back to old times. He started asking about people from high school, and among other things I told him that I had dated Jeff and we had broken up, but I skimmed over the details because its kind of a downer. After that, he apparently looked up Jeff on Myspace and added him, but they were never really friends so they haven't hung out.

 

Chris's birthday is next week and he is planning to have a party/get together with me and his other friends in this town. This was all set to be at a certain restaurant. Then, tonight, about a week ahead of it, Chris calls me and tells us that he is moving it to the restaurant where my ex works. I asked why there was a change in plans. Chris told me that Jeff had pretty much come out of nowhere and told him that he heard he was having a party, and offered to get us a free appetizer platter or free dessert platter or something if we had it at his restaurant instead. I just said it was fine, because he had already told the others and made plans so it was too late for me to protest.

 

Then also tonight, I got a message from my ex. It said:

 

 

"How's it going? I noticed you aren't exactly talking to me, but theres a bit of a pickle so we're going to have to get together and figure out what to do. I ran into your friend Chris the other day. It came up his birthdays in a week and hes going to have it at [the restaurant]. I don't know if youre going or not but, well just so you know, I'm still working at [the restaurant]. I know if I'm there and you're there it might be awkward for you. That's the last thing I want. So I tried to change shifts. Turns out no one will trade with me and I'm going to be stuck there Friday night. So I guess we'll have to put up with each other. Sucks. I hope that youre still going to that party. It'll be a shame if you miss it on count of me. the last thing I want to do is get in the way of your social life.

-Jeff"

 

What a liar. He didn't just happen to find out that he's having his birthday there. He bribed Chris to have it there because he knew I was going, and he made sure it was going to be on a night he's there. And the reason he even knew about the whole thing is that he reads my Myspace comments. I could have replied to the email and called him on that but I just deleted it. I think part of his plan is to be obvious just so I will call him on it, and it will open dialogue.

 

I have also realized that Chris is a backstabber for having the party there even though he knows my ex will be there. I don't think he's trying to be malicious though, he is just clueless and doesn't know its a big deal. Anyway I'm not going to make a big deal about it because its not up to me to tell him where he can and can't have his party. Its only up to me whether I go or not, and I'm going..I think?

 

I know some people might say I should not go and avoid my ex at all costs, especially now that I have 5 months of NC under my belt, but on the other hand why should I miss things I want to go to because of him? One of the last times I saw him is because we were both at a party, this is what comes from being in the same social circle I guess. This time he's going to be working anyway so he won't really be able to talk to me. I think going and not acknowledging him will annoy him almost as much as if I don't show up at all.

[tikigods]

I would go. I would be indifferently polite to my ex and other then that focus on the party and the fun times you are going to nbe having while he is working. He doesn't want you to go, and he wants to have that power over you that you won't go someplace just because he was there.

 

Also it was pretty sucky for your friend to plan his party at the place your ex would be at.