RubyDeluxe Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Hi all, I’m RubyDeluxe I am a highly devoted Christian, recently engaged, pre-operation transsexual. I am currently in a bit of a bind and was wondering if you guys could provide some advice. As stated above I am a strict Christian who is engaged to a wonderful Baptist Deacon. This man, My fiancé, is wholly devoted to God and does not know about my sexual history or gender status. As far as he is concerned I am all women and since my operation is scheduled for 6 months prior to our wedding date I don’t think he’ll ever find out what I once was. He does not believe in pre-marital sex so I should be fine in the intercourse department at least until after the wedding date. Here’s my problem. I was out with a few girlfriends last night and met this really gorgeous guy who came on to me very strongly. At first, I thought it was cool to flirt a bit but as the night progressed I found myself more and more attracted to this guy. Anyway, to make a long story short I ended up going back to his place with him that night with a highly elevated blood alcohol level. Needless to say after some heavy petting his clothes came of as did mine shortly thereafter. I really don’t know what I was thinking in doing this because when he saw my family jewels he was shocked and enraged beyond belief. Unfortunately for me I could not calm him down since I had already allowed him to enter me anally and had given him 2 BJ’s by that time. This guy completely flipped out and beat me practically unconscious. Now my face is all bruised up, I have a fractured jaw,a black eye and various bruises all around my torso and thigh area. I don’t know what to do since my fiancé is returning from a short ministry trip this weekend and will undoubtedly ask me what the hell happened. I think it will be hard to lie since the police were called by his neighbors to the scene of the beating, there were several common friends that saw us leave the club together and several church members work in the hospital where I was treated. Help? I don’t know what to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Were you on Jerry Springer the other day? You need to work on your story a bit. It was mildly entertaining. It could have been funny, But the whole abuse thing just ruined all the humor. Baptist don't drink or go to clubs. A Chruch Deacon would not be one for long if he were to marry a pre op Transsexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 Were you on Jerry Springer the other day? You need to work on your story a bit. It was mildly entertaining. It could have been funny, But the whole abuse thing just ruined all the humor. Baptist don't drink or go to clubs. A Chruch Deacon would not be one for long if he were to marry a pre op Transsexual. why do you think it's funny? B/c I got beat up? Also, I did say that he does not know of my little secret since we are not engaging in fornication. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Gee, this story sounds horrible, I think you need to be honest with him, about everything. You cannot enter this marriage under these lies. If you told him the truth, and he loves you, for you, maybe you have a chance. But I seriously doubtit, since the lies are really bad. Or you may have to take a long vacation to figure out what you want to do with your life Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Gee, this story sounds horrible, I think you need to be honest with him, about everything. You cannot enter this marriage under these lies. If you told him the truth, and he loves you, for you, maybe you have a chance. But I seriously doubtit, since the lies are really bad. Or you may have to take a long vacation to figure out what you want to do with your life I know what you're saying but if I tell him I'm affraid I'll lose him forever and he has a lot to offer me Link to post Share on other sites
FLOOZY Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I swear I am not making fun of you.. but it reminded me of this.. http://vid164.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid164.photobucket.com/albums/u6/picpicpics/Whysexbeforemarriageisessential.flv Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I swear I am not making fun of you.. but it reminded me of this.. http://vid164.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid164.photobucket.com/albums/u6/picpicpics/Whysexbeforemarriageisessential.flv ok that was cute. However, I should have been done with my operation by the time we get married so this won't be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 What to do? Leave, and start your life over somewhere else where you can be blissfully anonymous and have a decent shot at life. The life you have known with your fiance is pretty much over. It won't be long before he finds out, both about the homosexual cheating and the fact that you are a man. Link to post Share on other sites
UsernameRemoved Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Tell the guy you're supposed to be marrying EVERYTHING. Your DNA says that you're a man and I can fully understand the club mans reaction, although it sounds like he took it too far. I think your partner/future partners have the right to know about your born gender and that finding out later could destroy your relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Tell the guy you're supposed to be marrying EVERYTHING. Your DNA says that you're a man and I can fully understand the club mans reaction, although it sounds like he took it too far. I think your partner/future partners have the right to know about your born gender and that finding out later could destroy your relationships. I'm affraid to press charges on this guy b/c I don't know what he'll do at this point Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 How can you call yourself a highly devout Christian while perpetuating such an enormous lie to your fiance? Have the two of you discussed what you want out of marriage? Although I am not a Christian, I believe there are many common elements to my religion, Judiasm. In my faith the primary reason for marriage is to produce offspring, are you certain your fiance does not want children? You said you don't want to lose him forever because he has a lot to offer you - but are you offering him what he wants/needs? I am completely astounded that anyone would consider entering a marriage with something THAT huge hanging between themselves and their fiance. I am in no way condoning the fact that the guy from the bar beat you up - there is no excuse for that. However don't you think you should have let him know precisely what kind of good you had before anyone's pants were removed? It really is false advertising. I cannot imagine what you must have gone through to reach the decision to go through gender reassignment - from what I have heard and read it is very torturous and emotional process. So I am very glad for you that you are happy with your choices, etc. However you must be honest with people you intend to be intimate with - there really is no question of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 How can you call yourself a highly devout Christian while perpetuating such an enormous lie to your fiance? Have the two of you discussed what you want out of marriage? Although I am not a Christian, I believe there are many common elements to my religion, Judiasm. In my faith the primary reason for marriage is to produce offspring, are you certain your fiance does not want children? You said you don't want to lose him forever because he has a lot to offer you - but are you offering him what he wants/needs? I am completely astounded that anyone would consider entering a marriage with something THAT huge hanging between themselves and their fiance. I am in no way condoning the fact that the guy from the bar beat you up - there is no excuse for that. However don't you think you should have let him know precisely what kind of good you had before anyone's pants were removed? It really is false advertising. I cannot imagine what you must have gone through to reach the decision to go through gender reassignment - from what I have heard and read it is very torturous and emotional process. So I am very glad for you that you are happy with your choices, etc. However you must be honest with people you intend to be intimate with - there really is no question of that. I am completely astounded that anyone would consider entering a marriage with something THAT huge hanging between themselves and their fiance. I'm not sure if you intended to hurt my feelings with that comment above but you did. Anyway, I understand what you are saying about the kids and all, but what about my feelings? I don't want to have to go back to working some mundane 9 to 5 job when I can have a man that will give me everything I ever wanted. We can always adopt children you know. Also, I think I can make him very happy since I have a very clear understanding of what men really want. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 That was golden. Something huge hanging between themself and thier fiancee? Was that a pun? I sense that like myself, Ruby is a troll just hanging around to catch hell from people. Except in my case everything I say is true and I still catch hell. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Ruby - Assuming you are not a troll, I will answer you honestly. No I did NOT mean to hurt by that comment and no it was not intended as a pun. I would probably have used the same phrase for any major deception - for example if you were about to head to jail and weren't telling your fiance - or had amassed enormous amounts of debt. Your feelings are important, however you should be able to be yourself with your fiance - that includes the good, the bad and the ugly. I am a stickler on TOTAL honesty. My fiance knows that while I love him with all my heart if I find he has lied to me, it is over. I mean that for all lies large and small. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Sorry forgot to add - okay let's assume you are hanging your hat on the adoption route - have you at least told your fiance you cannot have children (regardless of the reason)? There are many naturally born women who cannot have children - and I would say the same to them, you must tell your fiance before you enter the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I am new to the interent message board thing so forgive me if I am not up to speed on all the lingo. May I ask, what is a troll? Although, it may seem that I am decieving this man in all honesty I love him dearly and think I will make a good wife for him. Just b/c I had a momentary lapse of good judgement does not make me a bad person:( Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 How can you say you will make him a good wife when you are lying to him right from the start? As I tried to say in my prior post I am sure your decision for gender reassignment was a very emotional one - and I am sure you want to put your past behind you. But let's face facts. In the eyes of G-d and in the eyes of science you are a man. If you are a good Christian, marrying a devout man - how can you possibly keep this from him? The truth is his faith may not allow you to marry him. That is a very harsh reality and I know it is very hurtful, but are you brining him down a path he would not otherwise pursue if he knew all the facts? I cannot say what your church does and does not condone, but I keep going bakc to the fact that you cannot possibly be a good Christian if your intent is to enter into a marriage with a major lie as the foundation. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Is this for real? If you are for real do you want to be with a man who cannot even tell if you are a real woman? You could ask him if he wants his RubyDeluxe super sized. Thomas (Who has trolldar) . Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 he is lying to you and that's just unacceptable in my opinion Ironic that "ruby" posts this in another thread. Rumbled lady.... If you are going to make up a story, don't be a black, christian, pre-op transgender man who engages in adulterous gay sex. Talk about ticking all the stereotypical boxes that will incite arguments. Sheesh, have a little originality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 First of all, I'm not married so the mistake I made was NOT adultery! Second, who are you to judge me and say my story is not as real as any other around here? Do you know me? Have you met me in person? I am actually a very loving a caring individual who would give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. Also, how dare you tell me "don't be black" this is the race that I was born and would not change that for anyone. It is so sad that you allow skin color to taint your view of me. We are all descendants of Adam and Eve and therefore we are all brothers and sisters!:mad::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 So assuming you are for real - why is it that you have decided to be offensive on every single thread you join? What exactly did you come here to achieve? You expected advice on how to continue deceiving your fiance? Clearly you won't get that here. I think you need to move on. Perhaps start a forum for dysfunctional devout Christians who rationalize their sins away. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Do you know me? That's the question, isn't it? Do we know you? Or perhaps an alter ego? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RubyDeluxe Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 So assuming you are for real - why is it that you have decided to be offensive on every single thread you join? What exactly did you come here to achieve? You expected advice on how to continue deceiving your fiance? Clearly you won't get that here. I think you need to move on. Perhaps start a forum for dysfunctional devout Christians who rationalize their sins away. what is offensive about providing God's viewpoint on things? The threads I posted on were fisting (which could lead to personal injury) porn (which could lead to the breakup of a healthy relationship) and bedtime (where I provided a little peom about going to sleep early). I've not attacked anyone here although I've been attacked and ganged up on several times simply b/c I am different, black and Christian. :( you peole act like I don't even deserve to live.. is it my fault that I am different? :( Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 You were not attacked for being black, christian or for being different. You have been attacked for lying while espousing to be a G-d fearing devout person. You have been further attacked for quoting the bible in every stinking post - how does it help someone to say that G-d would not approve of fisting when all she was asking about was how to handle the fact that her FWB was becoming jealous? So please tell us how you helped? This is not a forum asking for G-d's point of view on things - and frankly as I keep pointing out - I would not look to someone who is entering a marriage under a significant deception (because "he can offer a lot" and because you don't want to work anymore) for religious guidance. People seeking G-d's point of view turn to their religious leaders, whether they are pastors, ministers, priests, rabbis or monks! People come to forums like this to get advice without judgements. Saying G-d would not approve is a judgement. In that sentence there is no way you were saying that it is dangerous - you said it is abnormal sexual practice, and G-d would not approve - how could you possibly now try to justify that as being concerned for soemone's health? You need to find a forum that is more in line with your thinking and what you are trying to say. I don't think this is it. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 what is offensive about providing God's viewpoint on things? The threads I posted on were fisting (which could lead to personal injury) porn (which could lead to the breakup of a healthy relationship) and bedtime (where I provided a little peom about going to sleep early). I've not attacked anyone here although I've been attacked and ganged up on several times simply b/c I am different, black and Christian. :( you peole act like I don't even deserve to live.. is it my fault that I am different? :( It is a bit unusual for a devout Christian to have an avatar with vampire teeth, you must admit. Seriously, c'mon. There are many parts of your story that conflict, ring false or sound hypocritical - for example: you've been lying to your fiance about your gender, you had anal sex and gave bjs to a guy who's not your fiance - and then you want to talk about how fisting is against God's way and pretend to offer God's viewpoint on things. Yes, you sound like a troll and probably are one. And that's why you're getting this response from so many people, obviously. Link to post Share on other sites
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