Strange feelings about wife's work colleagues strange behavior. What do you think?

[InvisibleTouch]

Stop this speculation now and wrap it up. Its not going to do you any favours in the long run by dragging it out. Good luck.

[doiask42much]

After losing the car she made a big deal about getting a second one. When she had her car, I remember one incident when she left for work real early. Usually she wakes me up before leaving just so I know she is going, but that morning she didn't. According to her she couldn't wake me up. Later that day (after work) she came home and had some story about leaving for work too early (something about thinking it was later than it really was), and according to her, she stopped at some rest stop by her job to kill some time. This was all brought to my attention without me questioning anything.

So, this is the type of stuff I am talking about.

 

 

doiask42much, I know you have been on the other side of the fence (and I am sure it takes great courage on your part to even admit it -- I thank you), but would you mind posting some of the things you did for comparison reasons? What were you saying to cover things up? Do the things I post mirror what you have done? If this is too much to ask I completely understand. I'm not looking to act on someone else's words -- just need some help because I don't want to screw this up.

 

Would I be able to live with it? Well, we're still together so I guess I can.

 

The weird excuses, changes in routine/schedule (departure/arrival times), overexplaining of things you didn't ask about and making a big deal out of certain things that don't seem like a big deal are definite red flags. I think I tended to offer a lot of information that wasn't asked for to make situations sound plausible. Flipping out about stuff is another. I can't really think of anything specific. And as another poster chimed in, bras don't come unhooked on their own.

 

I guess since it appears to be over (judging by her moodiness) and you seem to be able to live with it, my question then would be what is the point of confirming it after the fact? What would you do with that information? You seem to love her and want to stay with her. I guess all you can do for now is keep watching the keylogger and being patient until you get the proof you seek. But what if it never comes? You may never know what really happened.

[Darth Vader]

My wife's favorite excuse is 'I forgot' or ' I didn't remember'..... I just want everything to work out!

 

 

That's a line of Bullcrap! Call her on it, and stand your ground, stick to your guns!

[whatiswrong]

The one thing I didn't mention earlier was the journal I was keeping of my wife's behavior. I forgot all about it until this evening so I browsed through for the first time in many months. Looking back, I see a very disturbing pattern. Just a month after her car accident (which was Jan); we started receiving a large number of hang up calls and wrong numbers. I see a pattern here..... It makes me wonder.

 

What would be the purpose of finding out after the fact? It would settle my inner-self by confirming that I haven't been crazy all these months.

[InvisibleTouch]

What are you hanging around for man?

 

Get on with it instead of coming on here an analysing everything odd in your relationship.

 

I cant believe you haven't spoken with her about it. She is your wife for goodness sake.

 

Talk with her!

[dbtmarley]

The one thing I didn't mention earlier was the journal I was keeping of my wife's behavior. I forgot all about it until this evening so I browsed through for the first time in many months. Looking back, I see a very disturbing pattern. Just a month after her car accident (which was Jan); we started receiving a large number of hang up calls and wrong numbers. I see a pattern here..... It makes me wonder.

 

What would be the purpose of finding out after the fact? It would settle my inner-self by confirming that I haven't been crazy all these months.

 

 

Hmmmmm...

 

Everyone is telling you that she is definitely doing/done something. What is the point? Just tell her to leave or you leave.. You have all this concrete evidence, why stay? Do you have some kind of doubt? If not why are you there?

 

Tell her she is a cheating whore like all the facts point to.. If she says you are crazy bring up the journals you have been keeping. Tell her about all the phone calls.. the bruises next to her love box... Hell even make up some stuff while you are at it.

 

After the divorce use all the money you are going to save and buy a boat.

 

GO FISHING EVERY DAY!

[JayLK]

What are you hanging around for man?

 

Get on with it instead of coming on here an analysing everything odd in your relationship.

 

I cant believe you haven't spoken with her about it. She is your wife for goodness sake.

 

Talk with her!

 

He can't speak to her until he has solid evidence regarding her actions. Would you like someone accusing you of something if they couldn't provide something tangible? He needs to vent somehow and so what if he is still posting here about it. Last time I checked, this message board (and others like it) exist for this very purpose, so I don't see any harm in him analyzing anything.

 

I'm sure he is itching to confront here, but he is doing the right thing by taking a careful, wait-and-see approach.

[JayLK]

Hmmmmm...

 

Everyone is telling you that she is definitely doing/done something. What is the point? Just tell her to leave or you leave.. You have all this concrete evidence, why stay? Do you have some kind of doubt? If not why are you there?

 

Tell her she is a cheating whore like all the facts point to.. If she says you are crazy bring up the journals you have been keeping. Tell her about all the phone calls.. the bruises next to her love box... Hell even make up some stuff while you are at it.

 

After the divorce use all the money you are going to save and buy a boat.

 

GO FISHING EVERY DAY!

 

Your post seemed serious until you told the guy to 'make things up' and 'buy a fishing boat'. By the time the divorce is over (if one happens) this guy will probably be in ruin... and when you figure that filing for divorce isn't free, I'd wager to say that he will be playing catch up financially for a very long time.

[InvisibleTouch]

JayLK

 

Advice is advice and that is mine.

 

This isn't his girlfriend it is his wife. To keep bringing examples here of her behaviour achieves nothing. We all agree there is something amiss.

 

Stop speculating and fuelling the witchhunt. Confront her with the concerns and get some real answers.

 

Find the courage to talk with her, your marriage is at stake.

[whatiswrong]

I would like to thank everyone who has responded to my thread.

 

I've been keeping track of everything and the key logger hasn't found anything suspicious. I hated doing it, but I checked her key strokes, e-mail, and nothing has shown up. As far as I am concerned, nothing is happening on the computer. I'll keep the software installed for a short time longer just for argument sake.

 

I approached my wife about my concerns (i.e. bruising, the calls, etc.) and she calmly explained that my suspicions were not true. Her first explanation (from way back when) for the bruising was that she was probably bumping into things at work. Her second explanation (which she gave me the other day) was that the bruising was occurring when we were being intimate. I dunno…

 

She made a good point overall though; we're always together when we're not working, so if something was going on she would be finding ways to go out without me which she has never done. We shop together, we visit friends and family together, and we share a lot of the same hobbies together, so I can see what she is saying.

 

A lot of the suspicious behavior was stemming from work, so like one poster said -- if something was going on I may never know. Most of the evidence I have does point to the contrary (i.e. an affair or something of that nature), but I feel that if something did happen I will eventually find out. God has a funny way of bringing the truth out.

 

I will keep everyone posted if anything develops, but hopefully it wasn't anything.

[JayLK]

WiW how you proceed is entirely up to you at this point. If you feel you are in error then run with it I say! However I wouldn't make a full judgment yet just in case based on the things you posted. Just my 2 cents worth...

[dbtmarley]

She had to point out that the two of you were always together? Weren't you aware of this? I still say from the facts you initially presented that she is not doing anything and probably never has. Jealousy and insecurity is a cancer my friend and you have it. Allow everyone to feed the fire that will eventually consume your marriage.

 

Tan Lines, bruises, lesbians not talking to me...lol.

 

You say she is distant on one hand then you say the two of you spend every day together, hobbies..etc, etc... I bet this is something that has gone on along time between the two of you... I wonder if she will ever grow tired of it.

 

You keep pushing for it to happen you might get what you want...

[whatiswrong]

She had to point out that the two of you were always together? Weren't you aware of this? I still say from the facts you initially presented that she is not doing anything and probably never has. Jealousy and insecurity is a cancer my friend and you have it. Allow everyone to feed the fire that will eventually consume your marriage.

 

Tan Lines, bruises, lesbians not talking to me...lol.

 

You say she is distant on one hand then you say the two of you spend every day together, hobbies..etc, etc... I bet this is something that has gone on along time between the two of you... I wonder if she will ever grow tired of it.

 

You keep pushing for it to happen you might get what you want...

 

My concern has been about my wife's unexplained situations regarding her work. We do a lot together, but we have time apart, etc. I'm glad you find the situation funny, but then again I shouldn't expect much from someone with Bob Marley as his avatar.

 

As for the lesbian couple, I discovered that my wife has been in places she shouldn't have been. She and her co-workers commute quite often based on the job they have, and she has been seen leaving places when she should have been elsewhere taking care of business. Apparently they're not sure what to make of it but they finally told me.

[Darth Vader]

As for the lesbian couple, I discovered that my wife has been in places she shouldn't have been. Apparently they're not sure what to make of it but they finally told me.

 

 

?????????????:confused:What kind of places? If you don't mind me asking.....

 

Yes, God will let you find out things, if they have been going on, and he knows just how to do it too.

[whatiswrong]

?????????????:confused:What kind of places? If you don't mind me asking.....

 

Yes, God will let you find out things, if they have been going on, and he knows just how to do it too.

 

The couple wouldn't elaborate and honestly I didn't want to push them. Look, I am not looking to f*ck things up like some people think -- and its not like I am here for a magical fix (that isn't possible) -- I just wanted some advice and I got it.

[whatiswrong]

Let me put it like this: the office was so concerned at one point they actually had someone from the office tail my wife to see what was going on. One employee said that my wife was seen speeding in the company vehicle, and that she was way off from where she needed to be at the time.

[jmargel]

Ever hear of that show cheaters? Check them out, it might be what you need. They do free detective work as long as you don't mind it broadcast on tv.

 

Check her cell phone bill (should be able to access it online) and see what numbers she is calling. You have any friends that might be able to follow her for a day? Go with your gut instinct here.

[dbtmarley]

I'm glad you find the situation funny, but then again I shouldn't expect much from someone with Bob Marley as his avatar.

 

Funny? Listen home boy I ain't laughing and you know what I say is true about you. Key logger... what for? I bet you never leave her side for her to breath.

 

Let me put it like this: the office was so concerned at one point they actually had someone from the office tail my wife to see what was going on. One employee said that my wife was seen speeding in the company vehicle, and that she was way off from where she needed to be at the time.

 

Oh and now the job who hires lesbians sends tails out to follow employees? Dude are you forgetting to take your pills in the morning?

 

You can comment on Bob Marley all you want, but truth be told he was a far securer man than you'll ever be..

 

I knew you were going to come back with something outlandishly done by her, I knew it. Just because I am not telling you she is F'ing while your taking a shower does not mean there is no advice to be given. The problem is YOU. Get help...

[InvisibleTouch]

Im with Mr Marley.

 

I smell a rat here!

[fairy_dust]

Probably something happened at work, I notice when things so happen people tend to keep to themselves because they would figure you know. Just talk to your wife tell her about the sudden anti-social change you been noticing. Hope this helps.

 

Fairy_Dust

[whatiswrong]

I'm glad you find the situation funny, but then again I shouldn't expect much from someone with Bob Marley as his avatar.

 

Funny? Listen home boy I ain't laughing and you know what I say is true about you. Key logger... what for? I bet you never leave her side for her to breath.

 

 

 

Oh and now the job who hires lesbians sends tails out to follow employees? Dude are you forgetting to take your pills in the morning?

 

You can comment on Bob Marley all you want, but truth be told he was a far securer man than you'll ever be..

 

I knew you were going to come back with something outlandishly done by her, I knew it. Just because I am not telling you she is F'ing while your taking a shower does not mean there is no advice to be given. The problem is YOU. Get help...

 

Right, just like you somehow know she isn’t doing anything. Get over yourself, man, because you’re sounding dumber by the minute. It’s not my fault your ego’s been rubbed the wrong way because everyone basically made your post look useless and hypocritical. Get over it… no one is twisting your arm to read my post, so go choke on it. 

 

Oh please… the fact that you hold such a low-life, drug addict in such revere already lends discredit to your presence. The man is dead… oh yeah, he certainly is a great man to idolize.

[whatiswrong]

Im with Mr Marley.

 

I smell a rat here!

 

Why lead when you can follow? lol

[whatiswrong]

Oh, and regarding your ego, proof is in the pudding right here 'friend':

 

Just because I am not telling you she is F'ing while your taking a shower does not mean there is no advice to be given. The problem is YOU. Get help...

 

 

I'm sooooooooo sorry that I haven't acknowledged your half-ass (and sarcastic) postings as nothing more than useless flame bait. Quite honestly, I don’t really care what you were "thinking" because quite frankly you're of no concern to me. Even better, why don’t you take your trolling ass over to a different thread and haunt a different corner of the message board.

[VinaAmez]

First off with the bras, their made to fit. They don't come undone or part undone unless someone tinkers with them or are so tight they come undone from pressure. Even then if they were tight, you'd see bra line marks.

 

Second, with the bruses and marks, if you didn't do them, someone else did. I'm surprised she didn't try and hide them.

 

From your last post, then, it sounds like she WAS (maybe) having an affair but now isn't?

 

I was thinking the same thing. OR she's more careful since you've been questioning her.

[Love is Tragic]

It could be anything-im seeing the same kind of signs from my H, and he also blames it from work stress. Although to the best of my knowledge, noone has really acted strangely except my husband. Im guessing maybe your wife was hit on by one of the couple, or maybe your wife could have made and unintentional anti-gay slur that was taken the wrong way? Would she have told you if that were the case?