A Silent Break Up

[yani]

WELL I HAVE BEEN DATING MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AND AM REAY TO CALL IT ALL OFF. I'M 23 AND HE IS 20. HE IS THE MOST IMMATURE GUY I KNOW. I DON'T THINK I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH SOMEONE SO YOUNG SINCE JUNIOR HIGH. I ACTUALLY THINK WE BOTH CAN SEE THE DIFFRENCE. THE PROBLEM IS WE SEE EACHOTH EVERYDAY TRAVELING TO WORK. I JUST WANT TO END IT WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. I WAS THINKING TO JUST AVOID HIM UNTIL HE JUST GOES AWAY. I'M NOT REALLY UP FOR THE DRAMA OF A FACE TO FACE BREAKUP. I PLAN TO START SITING WHERE HE CAN'T SEE ME IN THE MORNINGS AND SENDING HIM TO VOICE MAIL IF HE CALLS. HE IS A TOTAL a**h*** AND I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH HIM ON ANY LEVEL. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS LOOSER IN THE FIRST PLACE. DO YOU GUYS THINK I CAN HANDLE IT LIKE THIS OR DUE I OWE HIM AN EXPLANATION?

[Tony T]

In any break-up, it's much better to do it formally. That way you leave the guessing out of it and he will know the reason you are avoiding him. Hopefully, he will move on to annoy someone else. It takes much less energy on your part to call him and tell him it's over than to avoid him at work, at home and all over town.

 

If he's really immature, he could haunt you if he doesn't know exactly how you feel. (And when you call him, let him know not to use all capital letters on message boards because they are more difficult to read than caps and lower case.)

 

On the other hand, rejecting him makes you all that more of a challenge.

 

You will be better served in the future by sizing up the guys you date well before you start calling them your boyfriend.

[quankanne]

tony's right, you need to tell the guy face to face that it's over so that there's no misunderstanding that you are finished with this relationship. Otherwise, he's going to think that "maybe" you weren't serious about calling it quits and that "maybe" he still has a chance to woo you back.

 

and for pete's sake, don't be rude, don't be b*tchy, just tell him that you guys are not a good match because of too many differences and you don't think it's working out. If he asks for specifics, state them plainly, don't be accusatory. You might come across as a cool cucumber, but he'll get the idea that there really is no future in y'alls relationship.

[HokeyReligions]

talk about chicken s***. How would you feel if a guy did that to you?

 

Just tell him that it was fun, but it's not what you want to pursue - you don't see a match between the two of you, and you don't want to see him anymore. Wish him well then stay out of his way.

 

You owe it to YOURSELF to act like a grown-up and break it off in a mature fashion.

[Michael]

i think its only fair to both of you if you can tell him face to face. Even though you dont feel for him any longer and hes very immature i think you both deserve to put it to rest in a proper way.

[Reckless]

Okay,

 

First of all, writing in all capitals is the virtual equivalent of yelling, granted, sounds like you feel like yelling right now, so I'll over look it, but it is usually rather rude (personal rant - sorry).

 

Well, I have to say, you spoke about immaturity, but isn't that a rather immature way of going about a break up? Maybe you didn't really mean it and were just upset at the time (you were YELLING after all) but when we start a relationship we automatically take on the responsibility of handling a possible breakup, scary, painful, horrible really but just 'part of the deal' and no matter how young he is, you spent time together and owe it to yourself and him to 'deal'. So DEAL WITH IT!! You asked if you owe him an explanation, well, yes, I think you do, not a kick in the balls, but a clear explanation that it's over and he should move on, then you can avoid him and he'll understand why.

 

GOOD LUCK!!!