BRob Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 I not really sure how to handle this situations. I am 29 years old and have been seeing a man off and on for 12 years. We started seeing each other when I was 17. Within this time I have probably broke it off with him over 10 times. When we were younger he was abusive. After years of telling him I could not live this way we went separate ways. I finished university and went to do volunteer work overseas, which was the best decision in my mind, and It was. He enter a new relationship, and I did not work out. When I returned from overseas, 2 years ago, he was there almost like he had been waiting for me. Which is what he said he was doing. The first few month were terrific, I thought he had it put together. He was not drinking and everything seemed great. Then all the negative aspects of our relationship came back, like a big wave. I broke it off again about 9 months ago. He started calling and coming over again. I do admit I have some kind of soft spot weakness really for this man. About two weeks ago, I told him I could not do it again. He had to stop calling and coming over, that I was done. He decided something was wrong with him. He went to see a relationship specialist just last week. After along talk, it came out that he was molested by a male cousin from the time he was 7 to 10. He now believes he can reach that deep emotional relationship, built on respect that I need. He says he is going to continue his therapy, and believes we can make it work. I just don't think I can take that chance again. I am so unhealthy with him. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 Respect your feelings and take it slow. Sometimes people will say that they are getting help just to make us happy...some will even DO it to make us happy, but if they aren't doing it for themselves, it doesn't mean anything. Just trust your gut. Link to post Share on other sites
BRob Posted February 12, 2003 Share Posted February 12, 2003 I know this is a touchy subject, and difficult to respond to, but isn't there anyone who has some insight. Obviously I can not talk to anyone I know, due to the sensitive nature of the subject and the fact we share a lot of friends. So this post is my only way of getting some feed back. I'd appreciate some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Max11374 Posted February 12, 2003 Share Posted February 12, 2003 Does this guy make you happy or are you just comfortable with him and afraid to begin a new life or be alone? You should ask yourself this question? What are my reasons for wanting him back and not what are "his" reasons for wanting you to want him back. I believe people deep down know the answers to these questions. I believe one should be in a rewarding, fulfilling, and loving relationship. After all these years on and off with this guy you should know who you are and who he is and whether you guys are compatible. I know this posting might seem a bit negative, but it is actually positive. Since I really don't know you or him, the worst thing you could is just give him one last chance... well that is if your heart is in it. But then you would have to ask yourself, do you really want to say Hey I broke up with this guy 11 times? haha Link to post Share on other sites
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