What is he doing?

[lilac]

Hi everybody...been a while since I posted...but I need some feedback again...My last post was on December 17th, titled "I still can't believe it" Any help/advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated. I am especially interested in understanding what is going through my ex's head.

 

Ok. Here's the deal...my ex dumped me over 5 months ago for some slutty, high school dropout that has Hep C. He moved her in after a month and she still lives there. So, a week ago, I come home on a Sunday night and there is a note taped to my door from the ex. I have not seen him since the break-up. Basically the note says he's been thinking of me, he made a mistake, blah blah blah. So, I'm home about 15 minutes and there's a knock at my door. It's the ex...

 

He falls in my arms and starts crying hysterically...telling me he loves me, he misses me, his new gf is an iv drug user(lovely), he has no money, his friends and family don't talk to him anymore. He then tells me that he doesn't know who he is anymore and he knows he made a big mistake and he wants me back. I didn't know what to do. I still love him to death, but I told him that I absolutely refuse to pick up his pieces again but I will give him a friendly ear if he wants to vent. Unfortunately, I was dumb and ended up in bed with him...I know, dumb.

 

So, Monday night he calls me and is crying on my shoulder again, telling me he needs counseling and he wants her out of his house and he want his family back. I told him I would help him on a friendly level.

 

Tuesday, he shows up at my door again begging for me back...Then on Saturday, his dad called him and asked him if he wanted help getting out of this situation because his family would help him. The ex said, "oh no, eveything is fine, I'm happy, I just had a bad week."

 

What the hell is that? Once again, I get **** on...I give this guy the benefit of the doubt, be a friend and he simply goes on insisting it was just a bad week? His family and friends are furious, as you can guess they are not very fond of the new gf.

 

I haven't spoken to him since as his new gf still lives there. I am so mad and hurt once again. Can anyone help me figure out what is going through his head? Is he happy? Was he just feeding me a line of crap? I am really confused and I will welcome any advice you can give me

 

Thanks!

[Bill]

Well, looking at the situation logically,

 

What he got from this:

sex

 

What you got from this:

turmoil

possibly Hep C.

 

So now you slept with a guy that slept with a girl with Hep. C, wonderful. This IS usually contracted through blood, but can be contracted through sexual contact. I believe that you should forget about this guy, because he obviously isn's true to his word.

 

Seems to me like him and his girl were having problems and he wanted to fall back on you, but when it all calmed down he went back to her. Is he happy? Well, he just got to cheat on his girlfriend and she does not know, and you are his fallback as he thinks. Seems like everything is quite fine for him.

 

Forget about that freak, and worry about yourself. Start with getting tested.

[HokeyReligions]

Why the hell do you want to know what's going thru his head?

 

next time he shows up, slam the door in his face and end this mess. Oh, and get yourself tested for STD's - especially if his live-in gf is an IV drug user!!!!!!

 

I know love is blind, but it doesn't have to be stupid. You made some bad choices here and let yourself in for the heartache and worry you are now feeling. It's up to you to make the right decisions now.

 

Whatever decisions you make, you face your own consequences. No one can tell you what is going thru his head -- probably not even him. Stop asking if he is happy and ask yourself if YOU are happy. Your happiness is your only responsibility - no one elses.

[quankanne]

he's got the woman he "wants" living with him and he's got you falling for his sob stories and giving him the sex that he wants, on top of all that.

 

what's going through his head? probably not a whole lot, other than trying to see how much of a free ride he can get as he milks you for sympathy. I doubt he seriously gives a rat's ass about you, only his selfish needs. forget about love -- do you really and truly want this kind of life? If the answer is yes, then do you really *need* this? Obviously the guy is only faithful to his own urges, and while it's one thing to feel down about some of the life choices you've made because they're not all cracked up to be what you thought, it's another thing to drag someone into your personal hell whether they're willing or not.

 

I'm purposely being harsh, not because I've got anything against you, but because I hope that you will look at this from another, less emotionally involved viewpoint. It's one thing to love someone so much that you ache, and another to put yourself in harm's way because of it. Go get yourself tested, and stay away from the guy. He's already made his choices; you shouldn't have to pay for his problems.