we are talking but no relationship?!

[liljenny]

I've been talkin to this guy that went to high school with me since like thanksgiving of last year. We go to different schools and only see each other when we come home for holidays or the weekends. Just recently over the summer like in May we kind of got serious and started having sex or whatever. We do alot for each other and I over at his house when I do come home from school so I have met his mom and sister and he knows my mom and sisters too. He told me last week that he wanted me to have his baby...not in the near future but now. but I said lets wait till I graduate college. This is my last year. But he calls me his baby and refers to me as his girl. but He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. because they are difficult, complicated, and he doesn't want me to fill tied down to him in case i meet someone else that I like better than him. And he wants to know why women are all wrapped up in a title (GF/BF). He said we not just friends but we not GF/BF either. we are a step under that. but I like him alot and have feelings for him and he says he like me too. So what's the problem. I need Help!

[norajane]

Wow, there were so many red flags in your post!

 

I've been talkin to this guy that went to high school with me since like thanksgiving of last year. We go to different schools and only see each other when we come home for holidays or the weekends.

 

First point - you do not know if he is seeing/having sex with/whatever with one or many women at school. That could be a major reason why he does not want you to think of him as your boyfriend - he might have many 'girlfriends' or no girlfriends, but a lot of f*ck buddies or random hook-ups, or whatever.

 

Just recently over the summer like in May we kind of got serious and started having sex or whatever.

Do you mean you got serious? Because he may just be having sex with you without being serious.

 

He told me last week that he wanted me to have his baby...not in the near future but now. but I said lets wait till I graduate college. This is my last year.

Where did THAT come from?? Why would he want to be a father when he can't even manage to be a boyfriend? Doesn't he realized what a HUGE responsibility a child is?

 

Please do not have a baby with this guy. Not now, not later. Not unless he tells you he loves you, you see that in his actions, he has a job and can support the child/provide health coverage, knows what it means to be a father....

 

He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. because they are difficult, complicated, and he doesn't want me to fill tied down to him in case i meet someone else that I like better than him.

Uh-huh. This means HE doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship in case he meets someone else. All the more reason NOT to have a baby with him. Doesn't he realize how tied down both of you would be to a baby???

 

If he thinks relationships are complicated, he's going to get a nasty surprise when he realizes how complicated it is to be a father.

 

And he wants to know why women are all wrapped up in a title (GF/BF). He said we not just friends but we not GF/BF either. we are a step under that. but I like him alot and have feelings for him and he says he like me too. So what's the problem. I need Help!

Look, he wants to run around as he pleases, having sex as he pleases with whom he pleases. That's why he doesn't want to be your boyfriend. This guy is not interested in being a one-woman guy, nor does he want you to have any expectations of him that you would have of a boyfriend.

 

He can't understand why women are wrapped up in a title because he can't understand why women want a monogamous, committed relationship - because that is not what he wants at all.