evaluate this email

[confuzd]

me and my wife are on the verge of divorce, I don't want it to end my wife says she doesn't know what she wants, sometimes she's loving other times she is not. please evaluate a recent email transaction and let me know what you think she is thinking or if there is any hidden message I am not getting.

 

my email to her:

I guess the best way for me to express my feelings without you getting heated would be by email. This is how I feel right now.

First off, I have alot of love for you. I think you are great and I want you in my life. right now I feel hopeless. I am on the verge of shutting off my feelings in a last ditch effort of not getting hurt anymore. I understand that you have tried to make things work in the past,and that you no longer feel obligated to make an effort. Unfortunately a marriage can not survive that way. Part of me believes you already realize this and have given up. You don't wear a ring, you have no pictures of me in your office, you don't make love to me, you don't sleep in the house with me, your actions tell me you want this to be over, and your words don't tell me otherwise.

 

I don't think your a bad guy, or are the evil villian. I know I had a big part in making you angry and accept that. I would be willing to do what ever it took to make this up to you, because I love you and care about your feelings.

 

It hurts me when I try to tell you how I feel and I don't receive any affection. I know that you can't because you are angry, but it still hurts and should be taken seriously. You are pushing me away from you, maybe purposely, maybe not. As always in my life once im gone I am gone, there will be no friendship, no contact, nothing. not because I don't love you but because it would hurt me too much.

 

I can be the man you want but only if you allow me to be. If I knew that you wanted me to continue fighting I would fight til the end of the earth, but I don't feel like you do. I understand that you are unsure about most things, I am as well. One thing you are sure of is if you have a desire to be with me. When you think of our future together it is quickly overtaken by thoughts of our past, I understand this.

 

through all of that I just need to know if you want me to continue fighting, or am I beating a dead horse? please don't tell me to do what I want to do. I need to know if you even want to be with me?

 

her reply:

I don’t want to be angry at you. I don’t think this is something that should be discussed on the phone, texted or emailed. I don’t think that you are a bad guy, but in eyes you have not been a good husband to me. As you know there has been a lot of things that have happened in the past and I hold a lot of pain inside. I have tired with all my heart for a very long time to make our relationship work. By back then it didn’t matter. What I felt did not matter. It upsets me when I hear you say that I have given up. But nothing is said about all the years when I was the glue that held our little family together. All I can think about is all the night I cried myself to sleep with no comfort from you. I’m sorry that you are hurting right now. I do care, believe me I do, if I didn’t, things would not be so hard. As far as if you are fighting for no reason, I can’t answer that for you, you have to answer that for yourself. I told you that I will be ready to discuss things with you on Friday. I’m sorry, but the way I feel is that I have waited for the real you for eight years and you took your time, I need my time as well, I think I’m entitled to that.

[vivrantflo]

It sounds like she does still love you very much, but it also sounds like she's on her last straw with you.. This is definately the turning point in your relationship with her. I don't know the history of your relationship with her, but it sounds like she's been frustrated for a while due to your lack of concern for her, and her feelings.

It sounds like you waited until it was too late to let her know how much you do love her and care about her. And with women, you have to be careful.. when a woman is done, she's DONE. I'm not saying she's at that point yet, but it appears she's on the way. She's willing to talk to you and hear you out. She's your wife..fight as hard as you can to keep her, but at the same time give her what she wants. Talk to her on Friday, and be very honest with her... but whatever she requests of you, you should do it. If it's time she wants, then you should give it to her. Good luck

[confuzd]

thanks thats what I needed to hear, I will do what it takes.

[confuzd]

just a question, do you think its cool that she has taken off her ring, and taken down her pictures of me at work. from a womans standpoint what meaning does that hold. from a mans point of view I would take that as she doesnt want to be with me, what do you think?