cr8sea Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 So ive been dating this guy for two weeks. He is pretty awesome, smart, funny, pretty succesful for his age, sexy, just really really good. But... For some reason im not getting the excited feeling i wish i were. Like, yeah, he's cute, and sweet...but there's no spark! no happy feeling whenever i think of him. More like "aww he's cute" but no excitement. I felt that during our first date, but we had great conversation so i decided to give it a shot. I guess i was a little put off cuz he didnt seem attracted to me. Later on he told me he was very shy and wish he had asked for a kiss at the end of the night. I was relieved to hear that, so i continued seeing him. THe following dates were pretty good (we've seen each other about 7 times since our first date two weeks ago). As i said we have the same sense of humor, he's just adorable, and seems to like me. But....something is amiss. I dont know if its cuz i dont know him well enough, if he;s gonna grow on me or if i should just cut my loses and let him go. He's so good that im so hesitant to end it....but what if the feeling never grows? What do you guys think??? Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 This is exactly what my ex girlfriend of 3 months told me when she dumped me. Its been 7 weeks since she dumped me and I'm still in pieces. I can understand that she didn't feel that 'spark' or happy feeling when she thought of me even though she admired similar qualities in me like you mention. I just wish I would have been able to let her feel that way about me because she was pretty much everything I wanted in a girl and I was crazy about her and miss her so much now. It really rips me to pieces inside and my self esteem is really low, I don't know when I'll feel better. Hope things work out for you though. ps. 1 difference between me and the guy you mentioned is that I'm not shy at all about showing my interest/attraction to a girl or kissing and getting close physically with a girl. Other than that everything seems the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Steveto Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 It's called "Chemistry" There's a few women that I get along with great...When we go out...we have fun..we talk, laugh..tell each other personal things..even kiss (on the cheek) AND they are attractive if not considered HOT..There were times we even crashed on the same bed with each other....nothing..no spark..no chemistry..just well..I don't know..we feel comfortable. I think this guy would just make a good friend which is absolutely not a total loss either. We all need good friends. It's not in the cards for anything further. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 Get assertive guys. Confidence is the ultimate spark to tinder. If you're timid or being a doormat, it's not going to happen with the chicks. Also, try not to be a jerk about it because that will also get you dumped. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Get assertive guys. Confidence is the ultimate spark to tinder. If you're timid or being a doormat, it's not going to happen with the chicks. Also, try not to be a jerk about it because that will also get you dumped. Any advice on how to do this? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Any advice on how to do this? Firstly, realize you've got something to bring to the table. Dump any negative thinking patterns. From a dating perspective, here's an example: Thought process 1: I think she's hot so I'm going to approach her and see where this leads. Is she giving me the "go" sign? Yes, I do believe so. Okay, I'm going to be direct with her and tell her I think she's hot and I dig her. Thought process 2: No way she'd be interested, she's not in my league, Man, she's hot, funny and interesting, she's just going to reject me, she'll think I'm a dork, no way, no way... Also, if a chick doesn't give you the "go" sign, back off. Watch for them and stop wasting time. It will only erode on your self-confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Thanks Trialbyfire. I can say I'm guilty of both thought processes. My problem isn't so much meeting or picking up women, infact some often pick me up. My problem is more keeping them and having the fall for me. This topic of mine will give you an idea of what I mean: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t122918/ Link to post Share on other sites
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