help!

[dj09]

if an adult was abused or molested when he was a kid would it still affect him emotionally. Before i moved to the UK i used to live in Africa. You see i was a kid only 9 years old. My cleaner made with friends with me at that time i thought nothing of it. He used to take me in to his house and do these things to me. At the time i didn't know what was happening it's only now i realize what he did to me. Due to the this i used to believe that i was gay and other stuff. I've never had a relationship with a girl that has been really intimate. Or a girlfriend It just scares the **** out of me how can i get close to someone. I've tried telling this to brother but he thinks i can get over it. It's not that easy. I still wrestle with all these feelings and other stuff. What am i suppoed to do now?

[Dragonflys]

I would say there are few people on this forum who would be able to give you anything close to the right advice for this one. Such an issue as yours affects only a minority of people and we would not begin to understand the feelings you are going through.

 

Seek professional help. Such people with experience dealing with cases like yours are the only ones who can help. Maybe others can refer you in the right direction.

 

I can only wish you encouragment to get your life back.

 

Oliver

[yes]

Just wanted to wish you luck.

 

Also, it's possible that you can't get close to girls because of some other issue, so I wouldn't concentrate on that abusive incident entirely. I say this because I know people who have been abused as children, and have no trouble with relationships nonetheless.

 

I agree that professional help is your best pick here.

 

Good luck,

-yes

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "if an adult was abused or molested when he was a kid would it still affect him emotionally."

 

You bet it would and in major ways. Sexual abuse is a very serious problem.

 

The Catholic Church has paid millions of dollars for damages caused by priests who abused young boys, some as long as 30 years ago, because of the emotional problems sustained by the victims.

 

Sexual abuse is a very serious issue and long term counselling will be required for most victims.

 

If you want to find additional materials on the subject and just how serious of an impact it can have on your life, go to http://www.google.com and enter "sexual abuse" in the search field.

 

Sadly there are millions of sexual predators roaming the streets of the world...and even sadder, one can be a close friend, relative or acquaintance.

[HokeyReligions]

Congrats on reaching out. That is the hardest part about dealing with abuse - especially sexual abuse.

 

Don't stop now - you are not alone and there are people who can help you.

 

To answer your question - Yes. You can suffer from this for the rest of your life if you don't get help. Memories, feelings, thoughts can crop up 50 or 60 years later and have a mild or devastating effect on you, and on those around you.

 

The news / media is so saturated in abuse discussions and reporting that many, many people have become complacent about it and don't take it seriously. Many have become desentisized to it -- including the victim.

 

Please, please, please - get some counseling to help you. It was not your fault - you were a victim. Unfortunatly it is up to you to get help and no one can do it for you. Please do a search like Tony suggested, or call your local hospital or social services division and tell them you are an adult survivor of childhood abuse and you need some help.