BrotherD Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 Hey all I was "power dumped" 18 months ago No warning No "talking to" No probation... Just goodbye. It was extrodinarily painful. Lonely nights, bluer that blue. The ex "came back" a few times, only to waffle about, eventually standing me up... We last spoke in Sept of '06 The words that slithered off the ex's forked tongue we're unbelievable... 40 lashes worth...Ouch...I went home and cried. I was devastated again. And back to square one. If there is any reason for NC it is the following...You cant handle any news about there new life/love etc. And NEVER asked why they left...It just opens up another venue for them to reject you again. Believe me ignorance is bliss.. Fast forward to Spirng 2007 The other night, Im standing in a club and I look over and the ex is sitting a few feet away from me, nursing a boozy concoction...alone. We we're just a few feet away from each other. I didn't react... Weeks later, another "close call" The ex smiles at me and makes a goofy face, like "wassup?" I didnt reciprocate. Most recently the ex approached me with the "new" sweetheart, and says "wow this is awkward..." I turned away and began speaking with my friend behind me...They waited there for a moment and then left... Here's the rub Aside from minimizing the ex's guilt, what's in it for me if we're friendly? Why try and talk now? I risk knowing about the new love interest, which I don't want to deal with. Not to mention wierdness in general.. The ex told me after the breakup that "I hate this part..." I said "what do you mean?" "The part after we're lovers but before we're friends.." Chilling to say the least...I never knew of this sequence before in my life! The ex is apparently VERY familiar with it... Then a light went off in my head... I think it was presumed by the ex, that I would "get over it" and we would be friends... It offends me that IT'S ME that has to get over it and everything will be okay... Any communication with this person is not good for me... And yet, as a way to finally close this chapter and move on, I would like to forgive...AND never speak to my ex again. Has anyone got any advice on how to truly forgive and yet remain in NC? For myself, I need to forgive and move on... Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 I get what you are saying about the presumption. That is arrogant on her part. There are risks when you put an end to a romantic relationship, just as there are risks when entering one. I think all you can do is forgive yourself for getting involved with someone so superficial about your feelings, or too concered with her own, to be a good partner (maybe even friend) to you and just let it go for you. You don't need to be nice to her (to make her feel better), nor do you need to be mean to her (to try to make her feel guilty). Just realize that she was a bump in the road and that is all. I actually think indifference would probably bother her more then anything else, but that is just my gut feeling on this chick. Either way, that strategy helps you move on to someone more worthy of your heart. Regards, Unders Link to post Share on other sites
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