Ciretho Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 So basically i am in a pickle. I've been best friends with this girl for over a year now, and we've been really close (Just nothing romantic) We'd often joke about how we'd never be together :S Over the past few months I've been accepting that I have feelings for her (One's that i started having when I was going out with this other girl). Now, she's been in a relationship with a guy (Who just so happens to be one of my friends) for about a month now, and I know they're pretty close. They generally only see each other twice a week, but talk every night on the phone. I usually see her 5 or 6 times a week (Usually at school). When I started having feelings for her, she wasn't going out with this guy, but I was with that other girl, and I kept convincing myself that I wanted to stay with her, when really she was a manipulating b***h lol. But anyway, I have no idea what to do about these feelings. They grow stronger everyday and I can't stop thinking about her. Also i feel terrible about wanting them to break up because what kind of a best friend does that make me? As far as I know she doesn't know I have these feelings, which is good because I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I want her to know because... Well I want to be with her and she has to know how I feel first lol. I just don't know what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ciretho Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 *Feeling lonely* Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Do you want to risk losing her as a friend? I know this may sound patronising, but when you are still at school, BFs/GFs can come and go, but friendships are forever! If she has a BF, she may resent you for putting her in the difficult and awkward position of making her choose between you. I know you may feel lonely and sad right now, and I am sorry for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ciretho Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 Thats one of the big places I'm caught up. I don't want to damage the friendship because it really means a lot to me, but at the same time I keep wanting more... I dunno. I'm just not patient enough to see what happens. I want something I can actually do instead of just sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Hate to say it, dude, but this fantasy probably doesn't have a happy ending. I think for a number of reasons you need to pull back a little bit. You have to accept the fact that she's with someone else. If you can't do that, you need to start finding new friends. I would give her and her boyfriend some space regardless. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I don't think it will do any good if you announce your feelings while she's in a relationship, but since you are all young they probably won't stay together. Things change, who knows what will happen. You said that she makes jokes about how you would never date each other..that's not a good sign. Just in my experience when the girl jokes around like that they're serious, some girls cannot date people they see as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ciretho Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 lol, I guess my chances aren't so good... I kinda figured that already but it still sucks to hear it lol. Problem is, I'm not really a person who likes to give up on something i've set my heart on and things are kinda getting harder, especially when she talks about her boyfriend. I usually just make myself laugh and smile , but it's getting harder and harder.... Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 If you really care about her, you have to respect her ability to choose her relationships. She's not with him because she doesn't know she can have you--she's with him because she chooses to be with him. Interfering in someone else's relationship is wrong, even if you think you know what's best for her. Kind, caring, respectful people just don't do that. If her relationship with him ends on its own, maybe you can make a move. But even then, you have to realize you'll risk losing the friendship forever. That's probably what will happen. I don't know exactly how to cope with what you're feeling, but you're going to have to figure it out. Someone else will come along (or maybe she'll come around someday, but I doubt it). For now, be open to others---you don't want to miss out on another opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
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