Confused0872 Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I posted on here my ordeal with my ex husband and our custody issues due to him not wanting to pay his child support. Well, we finally came up with an agreement, if u want to call it that. Its being drawn up right now and my ex is suddenly remorseful and this and that. Whatever. But now things with my current husband are so strained. I mentioned that he created an account on a dating website in the midst of all this crap with my ex husband and he has been frequenting that site often. Usually a couple times a day of course when im not around. I havent brought this up to him because honestly i dont even know how to handle it. With everything else that has been going on, i feel so drained that i dont even want to get into that. Ive noticed he has sent his picture out as well, i dont know to whom but i do assume to another female or females. He seems to still be in love with me, still tells me he loves me and shows me he does etc, but if he does, why is he doing this??? I realize we have both been under a tremendous amount of stress due to this whole issue, but does that give him a right to go create an account on there? And how would stress cause him to do want to do that? Any suggestions, advice, thoughts, opinions .. im open to anything at this point. Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Wait, your HUSBAND created an online dating account, you know about it, and haven't confronted him about it yet? Grow a pair and confront him. You don't deserve to be anyone's Plan B. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused0872 Posted July 12, 2007 Author Share Posted July 12, 2007 Yes, AW, u are right. I still havent said anything, but plan on confronting him this weekend. I feel it will lead to a separation. Im not sure exactly what happened between us over the last month, but obviously something has. I try so hard to communicate with him but whenever i do, he says he feels as tho im attacking him and therefore, he becomes defensive. It could be about any issue and he feels that way. I have to admit im a little scared to confront him. Im afraid he will get mad and just walk out. I just went thru a horrible crisis with my ex husband and next week that will all finally be over and done with and now im going to have to see the possible demise of my marriage and i dont even know why it will be ending. I dont expect the truth from him. I feel he will try his best to deny its his profile on that site, get mad because im "accusing him" and just say he is done, pack his things and leave. At first i thought it was an attention or ego boost type of thing, but regardless he shouldnt be doing it..he is, afterall, a married man. I was told by someone the other day that he stated he didnt think i loved him anymore or that my feelings towards him were changing, he also said that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, on the other hand, he asked if they knew of any places for rent that he was probably going to be moving out. Problem was, he confided this to an ex gf and i wonder if he was being sincere in telling her that or if he was feeling her out to see if she was "available", i also am concerned that he even called her. Obviously, the trust factor has been ripped to shreds due to him being on this site and now i wonder about everything. I did ask him after i found this out if he was questioning his love for me, he said no that he understood why i was distant (due to the issues with my ex husband) and that because he understood me so well was another one of the reasons he married me. I asked him if he was happy, really honestly happy and his reply was yes. So u see, this confrontation will be almost as bad as pulling teeth. I try to go about things with a smile and pretend that all is ok as far as our marriage goes, but inside its killing me. We were so damn happy just a month and a half ago, then as soon as my ex husband pulled this stunt of his it seems everything has changed in my marriage. It would be nice to get some feedback from men who maybe can understand this behavior and why he would do this. Is he feeling insecure? Does he really think im falling out of love with him or was that some type of ploy to feel the ex gf out? The ex did tell him she was trying to reconcile with someone and he started giving her advice on how to get him back. She also told me that in no way shape or form did he ever say anything out of the way or flirt or anything like that. She said that in all the years she has known him, that was the first time she had ever heard him say how much he loved someone. She also said that he told her he "just needed a friend to talk to". If he was interested in something with her, would he do all that? I feel like an idiot, most ppl would just kick the other person out no questions asked, but i dont really want to give up on my marriage. Maybe someone can give me suggestions on how to broach this subject with him so that i dont come across as "attacking" him. I just know that im dreading this, im terrified instead of normal adult conversation its going to turn into an all out battle with the end result being him leaving. He already had asked her about places for rent..so that tells me he is looking to leave. Maybe i should just say forget it all and just kick him out. No explanation no nothing and just be done with it all. I hate this..im in such turmoil. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts