Teacher's Pet Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 I just had a talk with my mother. My cousin just had a child, and I was invited to the bris (Jewish circumcision ritual)..... My mother let it slip that I never had a bris (yes, I'm circumsized, just not in a religious ceremony) Being that my parents are Jewish, does that technically change my "status" in some way, being that I did not "accept the convenant with God"? I'm really curious about this, but mainly because this will become the focal point of a new comedy sketch I'm writing as well. -tp just a little off the top Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Comedy sketch? You need to channel the ghost of Woody Allen oh thats right he's not dead yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 Well, I can't really think of a funny angle about this, but I guess that would be your job Basically, it doesn't matter about the bris, if your mother is Jewish, you're in like Flynn. (Ha, that is kind of funny if I do say so myself. My kids are Irish Jews. Lol. ) Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 That's as funny as my kid being an English Jew! I have nothing to contribute to this thread but since the only other two LS Jews (the ones who admit to it anyway) posted, I felt compelled. But seriously folks, my son didn't have the religious ceremony either but was circumcized. It was enough to satisfy my 90 year old Jewish grandmother. So I guess you're really Jewish and so is our son. So where are you thinking of going with this, TP? I mean there's nowhere to go but up, I would think. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 There was this really stupid song we used to sing in our youth group (unofficially). I don't know, tp, do you know it? I'm not even sure it is funny, but I'll sing it to you. The tune is kind of like "Three little fishes in an itty bitty pool." We circumcise camels all day long. We circumcise camels while we sing our song. Camels, cows, and elephants too, and for a little bit more we'll do it to you. Thank God for a good Jewish education. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 There was this really stupid song we used to sing in our youth group (unofficially). I don't know, tp, do you know it? I'm not even sure it is funny, but I'll sing it to you. The tune is kind of like "Three little fishes in an itty bitty pool." Thank God for a good Jewish education. So THAT'S what I missed! Oy vey... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 does that technically change my "status" in some way, being that I did not "accept the convenant with God"? am not Jewish, so I don't know how religious traditions work for that particular faith, but I do know that each person has his/her own particular relationship or dialogue with God, and in that sense, it's covenental because it's between the two of you. Sorry, not quite fodder for your comedy sketch ... unless you look at it from His side of the story, where we humans tend to put stipulations and limitations and throw in all kinds of theoretical, but "helpful" monkey wrenches in our relationships with him! I imagine he's just happy knowing and loving us Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 The whole thing is that I've read some articles by rabbis stating that you are "in violation" of Jewish law if you are male and didn't have a bris.......Do I have to look over my shoulder for RoboJew to come get me? But, there's plenty of comedy in this, in that the doctor that performed my circumcision...not only was he not Jewish..he was Italian... So now I've gone from being Jewish to being "made"..... Also, being that I have not "accepted the convenant with God", does that mean that the 10 Commandments don't apply to me? My neighbor has an ass I've been looking to covet for some time now, so I'm thinking this gives me the green light. The best part is... my aunt doesn't know this. She's deeply religious (and very LEFT-wing at the same time)..... Imagine I let this slip over dinner "Yeah, no bris here....... oh Aunt Debbie, stop crying..... most Republicans don't get that done....." The ONLY thing I could say that would calm her down would probably be if I came out and said I was gay, because THAT she'd be able to live with. LOL Oy, what a world, what a world..... -tp just a little off the top, please! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 Oh wait.. As per LS law... All funny/quirky/off color replies are welcome on my thread here. -tp layin' down the law (and nothing else) Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 What about those that convert..... I would suggest that you have an adult bris.... perhaps use a symbolic foreskin in this ritual. I was thinking bacon wrap but I guess that is out? Could use Play-doh or something I guess... something kosher? Not familiar with the whole Jewish rule and reg. book. Don't you get gifts at a bris... of course at that young age it does not matter but hell at this point in your life you could get cash, furniture, gift certs to Starbucks..... I say go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 now what would you do if the Rabi recommended you have a bris now? just a little more off the top to keep god happy. Or you might be able to get it tatooed with "Cerified kosher." Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Maybe you could do something with the Italian doctor and a sausage... I know someone who never got circumsized b/c the doctor at the hospital was obviously drunk, so his parents took one look at the guy and said, no way! He wasn't Jewish though. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 LOL ... or you could go to the guy who does the circumcisions and say, "just a little off the sides, please" Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Being that my parents are Jewish' date=' does that technically change my "status" in some way, being that I did not "accept the convenant with God"?[/quote'] nope...as long as the intent was there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted July 8, 2007 Author Share Posted July 8, 2007 From what I remember you were an ok-ish person so dont take it personal. Well, as long as I'm ok in YOUR book.... I'm not so worried about by illegally snipped peepee. Anyhow... I'm thinking of just having the whole damned thing taken off, all it does it cause trouble, anyway! -tp unique eunuch? Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Well, as long as I'm ok in YOUR book.... I'm not so worried about by illegally snipped peepee. Anyhow... I'm thinking of just having the whole damned thing taken off, all it does it cause trouble, anyway! -tp unique eunuch? You wil be the poster Boy for NOW Link to post Share on other sites
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