Needing space without telling me?

[Onwards]

I've been dating a girl for a couple of months – because of our work patterns, we meet up once during the week and on Sundays.

We are both a bit reluctant in terms of committment, but it has been progressing (she calls me her bf etc.)

It hasn't been an intense relationship by any stretch of the imagination - and we have both made comment on how great it has been.

Anyway, we met up on Wednesday and the topic of going away for a weekend came up. I suggested that going away for a week might make more sense (a little extra money for 5 extra nights). She said that this freaked her out a bit (big step)…but I assured her that it was purely financial reasons that had me suggesting it – nothing more. I said that we’ll just stick to a weekend away….that seemed to solve the ‘problem’.

 

In bed that night, she said that the more she got to know me, the more she liked me yet the more she wanted to run away. I asked why – she told me (as she has before) that she is scared of commitment etc. I called her on it and just said (calmly) that if she was going to run, then we may as well just end it now. My exact words were: “It’s fine babe, we’ll get up in the morning and say our goodbyes – there’s no hard feelings at all”. She back-tracked pretty quickly.

There was text contact over the next few days – nothing out of the ordinary, just as it had been before.

 

So, now to the dilemma – we had organised to meet friends of hers in a bar on Sunday. On Saturday night she texts me to say that she might sleep instead (busy week, working nights etc.). I said that’s fine – and told her to let me know her plans when she knew them.

I get a text back almost confirming that she would sleep instead….”but you know me, I might change my mind”. (I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for her to ‘change her mind’) so I texted back saying that I would probably meet up with my friends instead. She tells me that she will call me regardless to see where I’m at.

 

Sunday arrives – I meet up with my friends and come home. It gets to about 5.30pm, and I decide to call her (I probably shouldn’t have, but didn’t see the harm). She answers, very drunk….and is in the pub that we had originally organised to go to with her friends. I stayed calm, asked how her day had been. I did say “I thought you were having a quiet day?” and she said “I wish I had’ve, I wish I had’ve….”.

 

This call lasts all of 2 minutes before her food arrives at her table…and she says “I’ll call you back in a minute”. And that is the last time I heard from her. It’s now Monday afternoon.

 

Now, it could be argued that she thought I was meeting my friends which is why she didn't let me know that she was going to go to the bar...and it could also be argued that she forgot to call me back as she was too drunk. Possible? Yes. Likely? I don't think so.

 

OR (and this is my thinking) she didn't want to see me Sunday (maybe wanting some space) and that she didn't call me back simply because she didn't want to.

Regardless, I feel disrespected. I would rather someone be upfront with me instead of giving 'hints' (for want of a better word).

 

My next step? Well, I wait for her to contact me....

I know that I have to make it clear that I was disappointed with her on Sunday, but also don't want to overreact.

The other option is to view this as a huge red-flag and walk away.

I really am at a loss at the moment....things were going really well (or so it seemed).

 

Any thoughts/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.