What is this girl trying to say?

[Halo]

Sorry, this one is a bit longwinded.

 

A few months ago I asked out this girl from my class, she said she had a boyfriend, so I was more or less ready to write her off even though it was disappointing. I did continue talking to her casually (like we had been doing before), since I see no reason to alter my behavior around a girl just because she is no longer (or not currently) dateable. She did a number of things that made me think the interest was somewhat mutual though, so I figured I might keep her on the back burner for a while rather than write her off completely.

 

So about three weeks ago I ran into her at school and asked her some of the typical stuff like how was your Christmas, etc, etc. She mentioned something about having a gap in her schedule that was convenient for lunch, so I casually suggested that I was headed to lunch myself and she was welcome to join me. She said she was meeting her boyfriend for something, so I was like ok, don't worry with this one anymore.

 

So for two weeks after that I saw her several times but made no effort to say anything to her since I didn't see any reason to. Then out of the blue last week (two weeks after my last conversation with her) she sees me sitting on a bench in the hall and comes over to speak to me. We talked for several minutes and she finally left when her class was actually starting. During the course of this she told me where she works now, and said "they're still looking for people" (implying that I should work there too, I guess). She also volunteered that she had been seeing me around, specifically at what times, etc. In addition she seemed to find the things I said very humorous even though I was making no effort at being funny. I have seen her once since that conversation and was tempted to say something to her but something came over me and I clammed up, which in retrospect was probably a good thing since I might have appeared too eager otherwise. I guess what I find interesting about that exchange is that she would initiate it at all. If she is all into the current bf and content with him, it would seem that I (with my previously announced interest in her) would be viewed more as some kind of "danger" rather than someone to strike up conversations with.

 

What do you make of this? Is it possible that she was "probing" me in some way? I do suspect she likes me on some level, or at the least finds me attractive. Some say that most girls pick their next bf before they end it with the current one, so while I am not at the point of thinking that's what's happening, it would be fine with me if that's what she is doing . My suspicion at least, is that my lunch invitation might have caused her to think my interest is not fleeting, and maybe that intrigued her. I don't really know for sure though.

 

Should I continue acting rather aloof, or should I do something to subtly encourage her a bit? Our current status is "acquaintances" and I intend to keep it that way unless and until I see some way of becoming romantically involved. That's my dilemma, really...how (if at all) to encourage her somewhat without ending up in the friend zone.

[Tony T]

The next time you see her, ask about her boyfriend....how he is....if he goes to the same school...what he does or what he's studying, etc. Seem interested in her life in general. You will quickly find out what her status is with the boyfriend. If she speaks proudly of him, back off. If she makes some negative comments, that means she's opening the door.

 

Some people can be very cruel and she may very well be leading you on or getting her rocks off just playing you, fully knowing she has a boyfriend she's happy with. Don't get sucked into this crap.

 

Your best bet right now is to keep things just the way they are...until you find out what gives with the boyfriend. Don't read anything into this whatsoever. Yes, she could be probing you.

 

She could be keeping you on the string as an insurance policy. People love to have someone standing by in case something happens with their current partner. That second and third string stuff is a crock and don't allow yourself to be put there.

 

Don't take any of this seriously. Go find a chick without a boyfriend and have a good time until you learn for sure where this lady's head is at.

[Halo]

Yes, I think I will try to gauge the boyfriend situation whenever I speak to her next. That will influence my decision as to what to do. If he is still firmly in the picture, I will forget about her for a while at least. If I get the idea that he is history, or on the way out, though, I think I will have to reiterate my interest in some way, hopefully one that accomplishes it without having to actually say it outright.