What a Predicament

[spunkygirl]

Ok. Lately things have been happening with me so fast, I literally feel sick from it all. All right, I have this guy, known him for almost 4 years, he's my ex, we dated for a long time, on and off, but when off still in love. Mainly him in love with me. I'd always been confused about having a boyfriend. It was always my fault things didnt work. And for that, he suffered. Always waiting.

 

Got this girl. She's my best friend, my only friend practically right now and I cannot give that up. Known her for about 3 years. I made a promise to her that I wouldn't ditch her like her past best friends did. She needs someone and as difficult as she is, I have always wanted to be that someone for her, but haven't been able to. But that's a completely different story.

 

These two started going out. It happened so fast it was shocking. I felt backstabbed. I thought my friend new about my feelings for him, but apparently not. She said I always told her I wouldn't date him, so it was all right for him to. Personally still don't see that as right, but whatever. Once they started going out, I realized that hiding my feelings had gotten me no where. So I revealed to my ex that just days before he made the decision to be with her, I was thinkin of a way for me and him to be together forever. I knew I wanted to, and I knew he wanted to, but the trouble was always me. But I figured either way things are going to be rocky and I am just going to have to push through it if I want things to work out. Thing is though, my ex did know my feelings about him, or so I thought, he may not have known that little plan in my head, but that was because I wanted to think things through all the way because I didn't want to end up hurting him again. But I always told him I still loved him and we always talked about the future. He should have known! But apparently he had lost hope without even telling me. Felt I didn't love him, without discussing this with me. He also knew how I felt about her. He knows how attached feeling I am to her. It was wrong for them to happen but it did.

 

Now he is having serious second thoughts, yay but one problem. I had found out like the night before he was going to call things off with her that, I could never have him again if I wanted to keep my friend. She would never forgive me because according to her, I do know her feelings. And I was like whether you knew my feelings or not you are doing the same thing to me as I would be doing to you! It didn't go though, she won't change her mind. My ex isn't breaking up with her for me completely. He realized he couldn't love her like he thought he could. He realized he made a mistake. The connection just wasn't there like he thought. And either way, his feelings for me were in the way.

 

After I found out my friend was going to make it impossible to ever have him again, even though we are both in love, I called him up and told him. Told him that I don't think me and him could ever be. I cannot lose my best friend. But I don't want to lose him. And before I discovered we cannot be, I told him, I would always be there for him when he needs me. To reject him would kill his heart because it would be what he was waiting for for three years.

 

My question is is what to do. I feel like I have a choice to make. Spend the rest of my life with the guy I truly love, or keep a friendship with whom I think is the best friend anyone can ask for? It's not fair. I don't know if she is being fair. Sure, she did not know how I truly felt about him in the beginning or she would not have gone for him but I should not have to tell her about my love life! Even when she asked, I told her what she needed to know. If she had asked when they became friends to begin with, I'd have answered differently, being suspicious. But I had no idea my only two friends would go for eachother and break my heart! And now I am stuck..so confused..lost. If anyone can change her mind it would be him. I shouldn't suffer for his mistake! He should not suffer because he thought he loved her! What do I do?

 

He's calling it off today if he doesn't chicken out. We've already discussed we wouldn't get back together right away. Or at least that was the intentions before we knew my friend was going to make things difficult. it would be wrong to, for her sake, for ours. He'd need to take a breather. Me get over the shock. And my friend will be devastated. Her feelins fell upon him too quickly and she needs him. I am just so confused on right and wrong anymore.

[Bree]

Honestly screw the friend she knew you had feelings for him, especially since she was your best friend. True friends don't try to hurt you or make things more difficult.

[spunkygirl]

According to her though she didnt know my feelings. She just knew that I loved him, but she thought as friend. She didn't know how I truly felt about him. That's why she didn't think it would be a problem.

[Bree]

Thats all well and good, but friends should not date each others ex's if she had cared about ya'lls friendship she wouldn't have done that. It's like stealing, you just don't do it.