EnigmaXOXO Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Sometimes we get so caught up in “where we’re going” ... that we don’t stop long enough to appreciate where we already are. Sad, when life gets by us like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 When I first met my FH two years ago .he said he would never ever get married again. Bwaaa haaa haaaa guess who's getting married in January! We are! I agree with the folks who say when they meet the right one they will marry them. Yeah, I really don't believe that men who say they don't want to get marred again really believe that..usually they just don't want to get married to you. That sucks, but I think "He's really not that into you" is right about that. I guess its kind of the same thing with men who are in relationships for like 6-8 years and say they "aren't ready." Just excuses. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 It depends on the man. My friend who is getting divorced says that if he ever gets married again to slap him. Link to post Share on other sites
CynicalP Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Marriage is such an outdated concept that just doesnt apply into today's 'me first -selfish' world. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Marriage is such an outdated concept that just doesnt apply into today's 'me first -selfish' world. Wow, that's surprising. I know some people are real down on marriage, I dont know if it is because of the divorce rate or not but i really don't think that people should stop getting married because of the "new age." Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 reesa, My first question to you is did he indicate his reluctance to marry in the beginning of the relationship? I ask because I think one of the biggest problems in relationships is that we don't hear things that don't agree with our master plans. If he began by saying no marriage I think it is important to listen to that and not expect any change in his decision even if he fell madly in love and wants to share his life with you. As for those who say the man or woman gets screwed in the event of a divorce, I say that is bunk. Very specific, ironclad prenups can be drawn up that cover everything in advance, from division of assets, to changes if the marriage is short lived, results in children, or ends due to infidelity. A few hundred bucks can be well spent while everyone is happy instead of when miserable and at each others throats. As for the wedding plans, since you've both been married before, why not just elope and have a simple ceremony in Vegas or even with a local authority? There can't be much pressure in that type of ceremony. Personally, I have serious doubts that I will ever remarry again. I will not be having more children and I don't see the need for the formality. I would, however, like to have a life partner to live out my days with. Assets would be kept separate and each of us could walk away at any time if we felt the need to, taking with us only those items we had paid for ourselves. Love, passion, and a general likeness in mind of most things are all I really crave. Link to post Share on other sites
love necessity Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Yeah, I really don't believe that men who say they don't want to get marred again really believe that..usually they just don't want to get married to you. That sucks, but I think "He's really not that into you" is right about that. Ib guess its kind of the same thing with men who are in relationships for like 6-8 years and say they "aren't ready." Just excuses. Ok, I disagree with you. Me and my bf have been together for almost 4 years and have been living together for 3 years. We don't talk about marriage, because we know we are not financial ready to take that step. We are both in school still and have about two years left before we graduate. Why have a wedding if you can't afford it? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Ah come on, not all women are like that. It's just a question of finding the right women and the right man matched together..and yeah you do have to gamble to find out if that will happen. I don't think men should stop getting married because of it though! All women are not like that but enough are to make a man afraid. I don't think men should stop getting married but he should make sure he knows who he is marrying and make sure he has a prenup. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 All women are not like that but enough are to make a man afraid. I don't think men should stop getting married but he should make sure he knows who he is marrying and make sure he has a prenup. You can apply this to either gender. Best to know who you're marrying and also to try to ensure that you've protected any personal assets being brought into the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 You can apply this to either gender. Best to know who you're marrying and also to try to ensure that you've protected any personal assets being brought into the marriage. This is true but women do file most divorces and the courts tend to favor women so men are taking more of a risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 This is true but women do file most divorces and the courts tend to favor women so men are taking more of a risk. That is true but it's because statistically men tend to cheat more. With this in mind, it's best for a woman to CYA, as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 What does CYA mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Cover your arse... Link to post Share on other sites
love necessity Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 All women are not like that but enough are to make a man afraid. I don't think men should stop getting married but he should make sure he knows who he is marrying and make sure he has a prenup. If he does decide to marry this lady, I agree that he should get a prenup. She did say he owns a business, and she does seem desperate. I don't think her nagging about getting married is sitting to well with this guy either. It's a big step, and if he's not ready, he's not ready! If she doesn't understand that, than maybe she's not the right one for him? Link to post Share on other sites
Kislette Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Reesa, If you really are ok with him not wanting to get married but don't like the mixed signals, tell him to stop sending them. Tell him that you don't want to talk about or hear about marriage untill he thinks he's ready to consider getting married again. If he still "teases" you about it after you tell him you don't want to discuss it he's obviously not concerned enough about your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 I have a question...did he feel "trapped" in his first marriage? He may be committment phobic. Which is a really huge problem. One step forward two steps back. Link to post Share on other sites
I love hot men. Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 It is proven fact that women file 75% of divorces It is proven fact that courts almost always side with the woman when it comes to children A man never knows when one day his wife will turn on him and want out. It can take him completely by suprise so what reason is there for men to marry if she is just going to divorce him anyway? Who files for divorce is irrelevant. As someone pointed out, it's because the men are cheating most often. Also, usually the divorce is no secret, out of the blue thing. Whoever files first has absolutely no relevance and gives no insight regarding the marriage at all. Most divorces are involving joint custody now. Most children I know are spending half the week with their father and the other half with their mother. It's becoming more and more prevalent. As a teacher, in almost every student who has divorced parents, it is split custody. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Yeah, I really don't believe that men who say they don't want to get marred again really believe that..usually they just don't want to get married to you. That sucks, but I think "He's really not that into you" is right about that. I guess its kind of the same thing with men who are in relationships for like 6-8 years and say they "aren't ready." Just excuses. I really don't agree with this. Some people just don't view marraige as important no matter how long they have been together. To some people marraige really is just a pieve of paper and not something they are going to go crazy over and break up with someone over. However to the OP tell him not to mention marraige again unless he is really ready to set a date with you because hhis mixed signals are bothering you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts