Ashbash11 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for 2 years now. Since we broke up, we did the no contact thing, dated other people, etc.. etc.. Unfortunately, nothing worked out w/ the other people we dated, and we are both still single. We've been close friends for a few years now, and recently, we've launched into a FWB sort of relationship. It isn't something that we discussed with each other, or that has defined limits. It just kind of happened one weekend, when we were together. We've got really intenset chemistry and we love each other, at least as friends. Now we've been flirting with each other a lot and we mess around just about every time we are together (we live close) I have a gut feeling that this is a bad idea, because he's my ex and all, but is it? I know people say that you should never do FWB w/ an ex.. The weirdest part about it is that I know we both still have feelings for each other. I'm not sure if this is just playing around, or if it's a reconciliation?? I'm really not sure what to do. I don't know if I should end this friends with benefits thing NOW, before it gets bad, or just keep having "fun" as it were. Any advice would be appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 All depends on where YOUR heart lies. If you don't want this guy for a BF and simply enjoy the company, cool. If your goal is to get back to a relationship, it's prob a bad idea on many levels. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for 2 years now. Since we broke up, we did the no contact thing, dated other people, etc.. etc.. Unfortunately, nothing worked out w/ the other people we dated, and we are both still single. We've been close friends for a few years now, and recently, we've launched into a FWB sort of relationship. It isn't something that we discussed with each other, or that has defined limits. It just kind of happened one weekend, when we were together. We've got really intenset chemistry and we love each other, at least as friends. Now we've been flirting with each other a lot and we mess around just about every time we are together (we live close) I have a gut feeling that this is a bad idea, because he's my ex and all, but is it? I know people say that you should never do FWB w/ an ex.. The weirdest part about it is that I know we both still have feelings for each other. I'm not sure if this is just playing around, or if it's a reconciliation?? I'm really not sure what to do. I don't know if I should end this friends with benefits thing NOW, before it gets bad, or just keep having "fun" as it were. Any advice would be appreciated! As a woman, fwb is nver a good idea in my opinion. Not passing judgment but i just think it leads to confusion, pain, and hurt. Guys love this kind of stuff. too many what if? When feelings are involve...you shouldnt play that game. It only works when you really really really dont want that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 The weirdest part about it is that I know we both still have feelings for each other. I'm not sure if this is just playing around, or if it's a reconciliation?? I think if there's any chance of it working at all (and even that is arguable) you can't go on wondering where you stand - you will not survive the confusion. It isn't something that we discussed with each other, or that has defined limits. I think that's as dangerous in a FWB situation as it is in any "other" relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tranzphasic0 Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 As a woman, fwb is nver a good idea in my opinion. Not passing judgment but i just think it leads to confusion, pain, and hurt. Guys love this kind of stuff. too many what if? When feelings are involve...you shouldnt play that game. It only works when you really really really dont want that person. i think thats a huge generalization about men and women Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 generaly think a man is going to enjoy being able to have sex with a women and then just do what he wants. Unless of course this guy likes this girl and wants something exclusive, something with some kind of title like bf/gf or engaged or what ever. But this guy would probably say I want more then friends with benifits unless of course he was afraid of by saying that he would lose the fwb and the girl and be left with nothing, but he's probably just having sex with you while he looks for a girl to be exclusive with or just another girl to be fwb. Wow multiple female fwb ... if ur a guy whose got that going wow ... if your a girl, well just dont get pregnant you wont know who the father is Link to post Share on other sites
Not_That_Innocent Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I think both people benefit if the relationship is handled correctly. Both parties get the benefit of having a friend (someone to talk to, hang out with, etc.) and the benefit of sex w/o having to worry about things getting all mushy. But like I said, it has to be handled correctly. Both parties have to be on the same page from the very begining. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I think both people benefit if the relationship is handled correctly. Both parties get the benefit of having a friend (someone to talk to, hang out with, etc.) and the benefit of sex w/o having to worry about things getting all mushy. But like I said, it has to be handled correctly. Both parties have to be on the same page from the very begining. I think it can be very difficult. How long do you think you can keep doing something like this before "Something" starts to happen like "feelings". I think it add complication to your life. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I think it can be very difficult. How long do you think you can keep doing something like this before "Something" starts to happen like "feelings". I think it add complication to your life. Probably anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months. Link to post Share on other sites
guitar71 Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 not going to end well. free sex for the guy = you getting screwed Link to post Share on other sites
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