Online fancy, meeting and weirdness.

[PuppyDogEyes]

I personally don't think anyone can find personality in someone over the internet or telephone.

 

I completely disagree with the above statement. Assuming that one is being perfectly honest with someone (a rarity, I will admit, but it can happen), it is absolutely possible to get to know someone rather well simply via communication through Internet and/or telephone. It was commonly done in the BBS days, pre-Internet, where all of the systems were local - one can and did often meet quite a few friends this way.

 

I have friendships going back 15+ years from the bulletin board days - and I met every single one of them, at first, online.

 

Body language is refers to gestures and poses intentionally or unintentionally made by a person (i.e. smiling, hand movements, and imitation). Usually involuntary body language takes the form of facial expressions and we use them to read the emotions of the person who is communicating.

 

As you say. However, do keep in mind that not everyone has the ability to either use body language effectively, nor to interpret it correctly. I am reminded of a certain friend of mine who has been diagnosed with both Asperger's Syndrome and Semantic-Pragmatic disorder, both signs of autism. He cannot interpret body language correctly and has had long-standing social problems because of it.

 

One of the main symptoms of AS is as follows:

 

Children with Asperger's syndrome may:

* Not pick up on social cues and lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.

 

Source: webmd dot com.

 

However, he can and does communicate himself quite effectively online. The ability to express himself online opens doors for him that might not have been available before.

 

He is one of my best friends, if not the best friend that I have. We are ten thousand miles apart currently. We have never met each other - yet. (Next year.)

 

I'm going to tell you just like everyone else, stop using the internet as a form of finding "LOVE" or even "friends". It just doesn't work, and when it does, it's once in a blue moon.

 

Not "everyone else" agrees, and as far as it "not working", I'm afraid that I'll have to say that you're dead wrong on that one.

 

-pde.

[doiask42much]

hahah how did I know this was all personal to you. Well I hope your moving to the midwest, just remember they will all laugh at you if you ask "whens it time for tea and crackers" in the middle of your work day

 

Tea and crackers? What the heck???

 

And dbtmarley, people in England drink just as much, if not more, alcohol than we do here. They're famous for having pints and watching football and getting rowdy. They're not all posh like the Queen.

[doiask42much]

I do agree with KMT that the OP should've been more aggressive, but it's really too late now. Women often don't know what they want (sometimes, but rarely) and it's up to you to as a guy sell yourself, especially if you're in the "maybe" pile. If you're Brad Pitt or some other famous, hot guy, you don't have to do anything, but as a normal, average guy, you do have to goad her into it somewhat. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. Some women really do know what they want, but a lot don't, especially younger ones, and it sounds like this is the case here. It could also be that she was put off by your apparent lukewarm reaction. If she's a hottie (or "fit," as you guys over there say), she's used to being fawned over. She may have taken your lack of fawning personally.

 

Sorry to say, but I think this ship has sailed. Better luck next time?

 

The rest of KMT's posts (his nationalist propaganda) were embarrassing and made me cringe.

[Green]

propaganda how dare you. bottom line to any one who reads this, if you meet a girl online make it a girl you will be able to see in person on a regular basis and try to be romantic about it dont just go out there and be like some brother to her.

[doiask42much]

Was that a question? It was missing a question mark.

 

I think you made some excellent points, both about how the OP should've been more assertive and the great accomplishments of the U.S. throughout history. But there were so many arrogant, offensive comments in between that it's hard to take you seriously because you come off like a jackass. Sorry, that's just how it looks.

[Green]

u should sorry. Im really the only person who actualy tried to help this guy and then women come on here and attack me personaly for it. First off were dealing with a guy who says he's never had a gf and is in his 20's. Now when he says he's never had a gf im actualy taking it as hes never even been physicaly in any which way with a girl probably never even kissed when or held hands nada. Now hes talking with a girl over the net alot one in another country, on he has the hots for. Now I hope he said stuff like god its going to be so great when we can be togather I want to feel you lips against mind, wow your pictures are getting me so hot if your even a fraction this hot in person I dont know how I'm going to control myself. any ways who knows what he said the point is, so much was said that she agreed to meet him and he agreed to go travel there. Then he gets there and he's even more atracted to her then he was in the pictures and he tried nothing, I mean, He almost couldnt have failed, I mean you build something up for so long and then u go out spend the money, the time, the dream and just do nothing with it well its sad. And yes I was arogaunt but if this person doesnt change alot in his life he's heading down a lonely sad path, and I doubt women are his only obstacle. Yes I may apear cocky to u but, to me a man who has less trouble putting myself in this guys shoes I can relate, and I can help, and u picking fights with me only makes this guy afraid to ask me a question, I mean this guys probably so afraid he wouldnt even dare anger women on a msg board

[love necessity]

I completely disagree with the above statement.

You are absolutely entitled to your opinion.

 

Assuming that one is being perfectly honest with someone (a rarity, I will admit, but it can happen), it is absolutely possible to get to know someone rather well simply via communication through Internet and/or telephone.

I said "once in a blue moon", so I have a little faith in online relations.

You're right though, only if two people are willing to be absolutely honest, knowing they can easily lie.

 

Oh, and body language is just as important as spoken language, if not even more so. You can pick up so much by someones facial expressions, gestures, and etc.

The fact that their "online relationship" lacked body language, could in fact be why they just didn't click at first sight. Before they met, they never even had eye contact, let alone invaded each others space. I'm just saying, it's a possibility. Think about it for a few. It'll come to you.

 

It was commonly done in the BBS days, pre-Internet, where all of the systems were local - one can and did often meet quite a few friends this way.

 

Exactly, local is the key word. It is easier to maintain friends that live in your area. Commuting is much more convenient.

 

I have friendships going back 15+ years from the bulletin board days - and I met every single one of them, at first, online.

That's great! I'm happy for you! It must be nice to still have the same friends 15+ years later.

 

As you say. However, do keep in mind that not everyone has the ability to either use body language effectively, nor to interpret it correctly. I am reminded of a certain friend of mine who has been diagnosed with both Asperger's Syndrome and Semantic-Pragmatic disorder, both signs of autism. He cannot interpret body language correctly and has had long-standing social problems because of it.

That's too bad. I am sorry to hear that your friend has these disorders. It's sad to hear that he has had social problems, because of them. People should be more understanding, not all people possess "GREAT" social skills.

 

webmd dot com.

I will def. check this website out. Thank you. I am going into nursing, and want to know all I can, so thanks!

 

However, he can and does communicate himself quite effectively online. The ability to express himself online opens doors for him that might not have been available before.

It's great that he found something that works for him. =)

 

He is one of my best friends, if not the best friend that I have. We are ten thousand miles apart currently. We have never met each other - yet. (Next year.)

 

WOW, half way around the world and you are best friends, that's amazing! =)

Tell him I say HI! =)

 

Not "everyone else" agrees, and as far as it "not working", I'm afraid that I'll have to say that you're dead wrong on that one. 0-pde.

I'm not dead yet, and you may feel that I am wrong, but my opinion is my opinion.

[confusedgeek]

To the original poster of this thread:

 

Have you told her how you feel? I would feel pretty miserable if I was left knowing where I stood in the relationship. Always questioning myself what would be the next move.

 

You can give up on her after you know how she feels about you. But until then, keep trying and dont wait too long.

 

I waited too long once, and I think i missed a great opportunity.

Even if it doesn't pan out to a happy ending, at least youll have some closure.

If it does pan out to a happy ending, congratulations.

 

- ConfusedGeek

[dbtmarley]

it's hard to take you seriously because you come off like a jackass. Sorry, that's just how it looks.

 

 

Jackass? You are sounding redundant here, remember he's a New Yorker...

 

I think KMT and I gave this guy some great advice. I would even add that he should invite the woman to his place and leave her hanging at the airport. Why? So he can say that he screwed a woman... over that is!

[doiask42much]

u should sorry. Im really the only person who actualy tried to help this guy and then women come on here and attack me personaly for it. First off were dealing with a guy who says he's never had a gf and is in his 20's. Now when he says he's never had a gf im actualy taking it as hes never even been physicaly in any which way with a girl probably never even kissed when or held hands nada. Now hes talking with a girl over the net alot one in another country, on he has the hots for. Now I hope he said stuff like god its going to be so great when we can be togather I want to feel you lips against mind, wow your pictures are getting me so hot if your even a fraction this hot in person I dont know how I'm going to control myself. any ways who knows what he said the point is, so much was said that she agreed to meet him and he agreed to go travel there. Then he gets there and he's even more atracted to her then he was in the pictures and he tried nothing, I mean, He almost couldnt have failed, I mean you build something up for so long and then u go out spend the money, the time, the dream and just do nothing with it well its sad. And yes I was arogaunt but if this person doesnt change alot in his life he's heading down a lonely sad path, and I doubt women are his only obstacle. Yes I may apear cocky to u but, to me a man who has less trouble putting myself in this guys shoes I can relate, and I can help, and u picking fights with me only makes this guy afraid to ask me a question, I mean this guys probably so afraid he wouldnt even dare anger women on a msg board

 

I didn't disagree with any of your love advice. I just thought all this America is the best, rah rah rah stuff made you look retarded and almost discredited any good advice you had to give. Getting all nationalist about it seemed off topic to me.

 

That said, I do think your advice was earnest enough and practical. You are taking this too personally.

[Green]

people made it personaly when they made it specificaly about me and the greatest country in the world good old US of A

[catrocks]

Lol.... I wonder if the op even ever bothered to come back and read the advice after all this.

[dbtmarley]

people made it personaly when they made it specificaly about me and the greatest country in the world good old US of A

 

The only thing wrong with us over here is the educational system... as you can tell by KMT's spelling and my grammatical errors.

 

 

Catrocks,

 

If you and the yank should bear children make sure you have family back home who can help provide lodging during their schooling there. Other wise your child will end up like me, Mr. Run On... or like KMT, Mr. I Know Everything but How to Spell..

 

Lol.... I wonder if the op even ever bothered to come back and read the advice after all this.

 

Being British you would have the heart to wonder about the OP... you little darling you!!! I think if anything he's learned not to make any trips to America, especially New York!!