WHAT is the deal??

[Joanne]

I met a guy at a party about a month ago. We went out a couple of times and had lots of fun, and there was lots of chemistry. Then he started back at his work (he is a surgeon) and I basically did not hear from him for a week. I called and we had a chat, but he was too busy to meet me. A week later I still had not hear from him so I left a casual message saying I hope he had a good weekend. I was going to leave it at that (normally I would not have bothered, as I am a soclicitor and very busy myself, but I really liked him). He called back an hour later sounding excited to have heard from me and asked me out for a coffee on his work break. I went along, and we had a really great conversation. Although we didn't make out (perhaps due to the lack of alcohol this time?), I felt things went well. The converstion went smoothly and the attraction was still there. We talked about what we were doing during the week but no definate plans were made to meet up again, and he didn't even say, 'I'll call you to arrange something...' or anything along those lines. I thought I'd get some answers but now I'm left just as confused as before!! I realise he is a very busy person (and so am I) but surely if he wanted to pursue something with me he'd at least take the time out to arrange a date? I am used to being with guys who lavish attention on me, so this is all a bit strange. Is it normal? Should I wait? I thought the chemistry was mutual. I don't know whether he is just shy, distracted, or genuinly not interested.

[Tony T]

There is about one doctor for every 10,000 females who would like to marry one. This guy probably has more female suitors than he can handle. I'm sure he's a very nice guy but, like you said, he only has a limited amount of time to socialize and you can be he spreads himself around. It's a good thing that the two of you were able to go out more than one or two times.

 

You have given him the signal you are interested. The only thing that will set you apart from all the other ladies after him now is if you back off and just forget about him. That's your ONLY hope of stirring interest. That's the ONLY thing that will show him you are different and you are a challenge.

 

And landing this man will be a real challenge. Surgeons have many years of sweat, toil, and 22 hour days and nights of studying to throw it down the can for a quick romance. He'll always be FIRST dedicated to his work...and then, if there's time, a female.

 

Until he tires of the variety of ladies who are after him, you may not hear much from him...unless you do as I said and simply back off big time. He will then wonder why you have disappeared...and that will make you the mystery he may be seeking.