My sister...What am I supposed to do?

[tadpole13137]

Hey all! Well...where to begin? Im going to try and keep this as short as possible, because I've been repeating this story over, and over again, in attempts to get help from different people.

 

My sister, in a couple of words, is: Selfish, Disrespectful. I lied, that was only 2 words.

 

Well, to start, my sister wants way to much freedom. She asks my parents for things that are completley unthinkable in my culture. And in the end, she always gets her way, because I used to support her, when my parents didnt allow her to go to certain places, where i thought she would be okay going to. So we started granting her freedom, and she just took the advantage of this, and started. Theres too much to say. She asked my dad to have a beach party with guys, and then later bring them home. She's asked my mom to drop her off at the movies, with people my mom doesnt even know. When my parents dont allow her for a certain thing, she argues, and threathens to leave the house, and yells, and at times says how she'll commit suicide...which is an empty threat. in the end, she manages to go wherever she wants to. This is what my sister would want. To let her go in a bikini wherever she wants to go. To drop her off to parties and pick her up whenever she wants to be dropped and picked. For us not to care about how late shes up at night on the computer. For us not to care about who calls the house, and how long she's on the phone. This however, is unnacceptable. I speak on behalf of my parents, because my parents were worrywarts, but theyve changed so much, according to the environment. They have made so many sacrifices. And my sister feels that we shouldnt be interfering in her life. Shes only 17, and she feels she has the right to do whatever she wants to do. What do we do? We've tried allowing her to go wherever she wants, but if we give her an inch, she takes a mile. (was that the phrase?) Whats left for us to do?

 

Are we her personal drivers? To drop and pick her up whenever she wants to be picked up? To let her do what she wants to? This isnt a guesthouse. As her younger brother, 16, i feel so hurt seeing her disrespect my parents. I get offers to go to parties too, but i never go, because i think she goes to so many parties, she uses up my share of parties and events. However, i dont mind. I can sacrifice this much for my parents. The people who have given me everything. Ive tried changing my parents alot, and they have changed significantly. We've tried all the means of getting through to my sister, but no matter how we try, she wont understand. She'll say, yes, okay, ill try, but thats only if she wants something done the next day.

 

Today, we got our report cards. My mom was supposed to pick us up at 12 for the report card, and my sister told her that she wants to be picked up at 3. My mom said no, its not possible, and went. So we didnt go to pick her up. Its 4:04 right now, and my mom and I are at home. She thinks im on MSN, and shes making food. I told my sister at school. Momm is coming in half an hour. If you dont come now, she wont come to pick you up at 3. She said, whatever, and went off with her friends. Now we're at home, and we're not going to pick her up. We're going to be harsh now. She's going to have to find a way to get home.

 

Just an example. I really need to find out what to do, because its really having an effect on my marks, dealing with these situations at home. My average dropped from an 85 percent, to a 74 percent. Whats the best solution for my sister?

 

Please ignore any spelling errors. Im not double chekkkking it

[RecordProducer]

I am a bit confused with your post. While I would understand if you were concerned about your sister's wellbeing (as in something might happen to her with so much freedom), the rest shouldn't really be too much of your business. It especially shouldn't affect you so much as to lower your grades. Don't put your young nose where it doesn't belong. This is between your sister and your parents, no matter how much your culture allows you to be the voice of reason in the family. How would you feel if some day your sister got a ride from some guys who raped her or killed her (God forbid!), because YOU convinced your mother NOT to pick up the "spoiled brat"?

 

It's better for your sister to be dropped off and picked up by your parents than by some guys who may take advantage of her. If she knows that a parent is coming to pick her up, she will control her drinking (if any), outfit, and the people she hangs out with. There is also a silent mutual agreement between your parents and her: they give her freedom and free rides and in return she acts responsible at the parties. I am a mother and I wouldn't want my children to get into trouble. Driving them around would be my least worry as along as they don't do anything stupid or hang out with some dangerous crowd.

 

Regrading her taking up your freedom, I just don't buy that. If anything, you can use her freedom as a precedent to your own benefit.

[Snuggle Tiger]

So we started granting her freedom

 

We? I can tell this is going downhill in a hurry...

 

Whats the best solution for my sister?

 

To have her YOUNGER brother mind his own business. I dont know what kind of culture you come from, but in most of the civilized world its not the business of little brother to panic because big sister gets to go to a party. Getting dropped off and picked up by mom and dad does not make your sister a wild thing. So I suggest you back off, stop using your sister as an excuse for your sucky grades and worry about your own mortal soul.

 

Unless your sister is having unprotected sex, wild drinking, taking drugs, comitting grand theft auto or riding around in cars without wearing a seatbelt, what she does is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

 

How much of your brotherly concern is out of jealousy?

 

Is she by any chance your step sister? You sound more like a jilted lover than a little brother!

[Steveto]

I see where you are coming from, but your sister is actually testing her boundaries. I do it myself. She wants to see how far she can take it and how much she can bend the rules. You give her an inch and she takes a mile. Your parents need to learn to compromise really..like yes, you can go to the party, but just be home before 2AM or something to that effect. If you want to stay on the computer late, you need to show me that you actually did some homework. Anyway..it is much easier to grant freedom then to take it away.

[JulieJ]

This is too big of a worry for a 16 year old boy. Granting your sister privileges is the responsibility of your parents and is too much for you to take on. You should focus on getting good grades and having a little fun in ways that is acceptable to your culture, if that is important to you.

[ddnnee]

don't worry OP, i have the same freaking problem with my 17 year old sister. Exactly plus a bit more.

 

my sis had sex with her boyfriend since 12 as they are a couple for 5 years now. at first i knew something was going on and i told my mother to be wary. I tapped the phone lines and trojan my sis's computer to capture all chats. I gathered enough evidence of sex talks and her admittance to sexual acts. I presented the information to my mom and guess what? my mother yelled at me and bought my sister her own cellphone just so she can talk to her boyfriend.

 

people, what we have here is a mother who is protecting a 12 year old daughter and allowing her to have sex. my mother would even drive my sis to the boyfriend's house to have sex. how do i know? its easy. what would two teenager boy and girl on a hormone rush do when no one is home? wow, easy question to answer.

 

OP, your sister is a slut and so is mine. I have no control and so i have nicked named my sister "sluz" or "hoe". I actually call her "hoe" in public as her real name and she answers to it. "hey hoe, can you get me that?"

 

my sis lies to everyone and so i never trust her words. It has been so bad that i end up asking for proof whether she went to X location. I tell her to present proof with a receipt or a picture.

 

i am her older brother and i have 1% trust in my sister. I don't hate her, but i look at her like a common hooker on the street. sad isn't it?

[ddnnee]

We? I can tell this is going downhill in a hurry...

 

How much of your brotherly concern is out of jealousy?

 

Is she by any chance your step sister? You sound more like a jilted lover than a little brother!

 

 

you know, this is the same exact thing my mom said to me when my sis was 13 years old. "your sister sex life is none of your concern and she does what she wants with her body." right, in an american family, no one cares for eachother. you hit 18, u get ur ass out of the house. you get pregnant, too bad.

 

so yea, maybe i am jealous. i am jealous that i dont get to screw girls at age 13 because no parents would let me.