an unusual heartbreak

[strangeworld]

Hello Peeps, I'm new at Loveshack, so I hope you'll welcome me with open arms. I've got an unusual heartbreak story, so let me begin.

 

My ex and I lived together and were in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. When we lived together, I noticed my feelings for her started to change for the worse. I started to become less attractive to her and just simply wasn't happy. Nothing ever felt "right" with her. I loved her but wasn't "In love" with her - so cliche' I know. However, I just couldn't break up with her b\c I didn't want to hurt her. She was so attached to me. I remember thinking on several occassions that I wish she'd just cheat on me so it could end and I could move on. But she was too sweet, too innocent, too attached , too "in love' and too trustworthy. She wasn't the type.

 

So then it happened. I caught her cheating. Seeing it made it so much worse. My head started spinning, stomach was in knots, I wanted to throw-up but I couldn't. WTF? This was the kindest girl I have ever met and I thought the most trustworthy. But after all, this is what I wanted....so I could move on without her. But it hurts so much. Why?

 

I am sitting here blaming myself for what happened. I could of done this better...could of said this more.......how could this possible of happened? I have been in 2 serious relationships and am still young (25). My first relationship I was cheated on several times. I told myself I would never get involved with a woman again that is capable of this. My ego is shot. Both serious relationships, both cheated. Maybe I'm not that great in bed, not affectionate enough, not good looking enough, who knows.

 

I just don't understand why it hurts this much when this is what I wanted.

 

Please do not read any further if you are easily offended:

 

Ok, I have to get this out. Something I'm scarred of, and don't know if it's "normal." One reason I became less attracted to her is b\c when We had sex doggy style, I noticed there was hair on her a-hole. Sometimes more than others - I assume she shaved periodically. But I have never seen this before on another woman. Is this normal? Sorry to be explicit, but there's no softer way i could think of to put it.

 

And no, she's not a transsexual or anything of that nature. I have seen baby pics of her and knew her parents very well. She is a female.

 

 

So my questions;

Does Infatuation (aka "In love") last forever?

 

Why do I feel so heartbroken over this woman? I thought this is what I wanted........

 

Why do I constantly get cheated on? It has to do something with me........

 

And for those that read below, the hair....is it normal?

 

Any insight is much appreciated.

[norajane]

So my questions;

Does Infatuation (aka "In love") last forever?

 

Why do I feel so heartbroken over this woman? I thought this is what I wanted........

 

Why do I constantly get cheated on? It has to do something with me........

 

And for those that read below, the hair....is it normal?

 

Any insight is much appreciated.

 

1. Not in the same exact form as in the beginning. It can become love and you can stay attracted and the chemistry can be there, but that "high" feeling relaxes into a generally good feeling that's a lot calmer. In some cases, however, you can totally fall out of love and if you haven't developed real love for each other, then that's it.

 

2. You feel heartbroken because you were betrayed. That's what betrayal does. Even if you didn't want her anymore, she disrespected you, insulted you, and betrayed your trust. That's still going to hurt regardless of whether your feelings for her had faded.

 

3. I can't answer that one. But if you are always being cheated on, you have to consider that YOU are the common denominator. So it might have something to do with your choices. Consider this: if you had broken up with her when you realized you weren't in love with her, she wouldn't have had an opportunity to cheat on you. If you had talked with her about how you were feeling when things started going badly, it might have changed your relationship or you might have ended things - both ways would have avoided the cheating scenario. Think back on your past relationships - what kind of women do you choose to date? There's something about your choice in women, or what happens after you get into the relationship that ends up leading to a bad outcome.

 

4. Yes, hair there is perfectly normal and every woman and man has some to one degree or another. Depends on their overall body hair and type (blondes, for example, will typically have lighter, less noticeable hair). And some women are more stringent about shaving.