Wondering what's the point?

[ShyguyRod]

OK sorry if this is the wrong area to post this I just had no idea where to put this.

 

Ive reached the point in my life where I wonder why I'm even here. I used to be a very confident and happy person, now I'm very depressed and shy. I look at all my friends and see that S is a very confident guy who girls find very attractive and will never be alone. I see J being very over confident and he also seems as though he will never be alone, he is friends with everyone. B is extremely confident and very naive but he has plenty of friends and a good job. A is friends with most people and represents my state for hockey and is a very good academic achiever also, seeking to become a doctor. K is an amazingly good soccer player and also very confident. R has great wood working and graphic design skills and has always been the "nice to everyone" guy who I admired.

 

When I think about them I try to work out why I can't be anything like them. I have zero confidence in myself in whatever I'm doing, be it academically, sporting, at my part time job or in relationships. My worst concern is that everyone tells me when I worry about not getting a girlfriend that confidence is the key, and I don't have any. I go to party after party and come home sad and lonely, not one person takes a second look at me.

 

Any free time I get I waste, and its no surprise I am behind on my school work. In my opinion having no confidence teamed with no goal for life has caused a severe lack of determination. Having no confidence in my school work I feel has caused me to under achieve also, as when I was happy I was very good at school.

 

I used to have a good group of people I could talk to about anything, but now I only have one friend online to seek advice and help from. When I log into myspace I never recieve comments and when I sign into MSN I rarely have anyone talking to me.

 

To add to my problems I now have a guy fresh out of juvenile detention harassing me over the phone leaving "F*** YOU!" messages. I dont know what I did to this guy, I always thought I got along with him well and now this.

 

I always have too much time to think about this stuff and it bums me out. I am always wondering why am I going through this? what did I do to cop this life? how much longer can I put up with being alone?

I always think about how so many people are very worse off than me and that makes me feel even more self centred and insensitive. I just dont know what to do anymore......

[NinjaSpank]

con·fi·dence (n) belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance

 

You've hit a point in your life that everyone goes through. Some go through it earlier, some go through it later, but everyone goes through it.

 

You hit it right on the head though. Whats the point? Why are were here? The answer to this is as intangable as it is futile. No one is going to have the answer to give you, and even if they do, you'll find that your own experiences will mold and shape it.

 

I guess all I can share with you is to really look inside yourself and find out what you are all about. Spend time just sitting and 'being'. What goes through your mind? What are your thoughts on God, or a higher being? Do you believe in re-incarnation? Do you believe in fate? How does teflon stick to the pan? Just _think_ for a while.

 

And just remember, confidence is bravado masked with humility. Your friend may be a star hockey player, but that doesnt mean he doesnt have terrible stage fright (many sports stars are). Never put anyone up on a pedastal, or you start to wonder why everyone is looking down at you.

 

Lastly, dont worry about relationships. I'm going to hazzard a guess and assume that you are likely in your early 20's or younger (I apologize if I am really off on this). You have pleanty of time to find the perfect person for you. But furst, you need to be able to present who you are to them. Thats the biggest thing holding you back. If you dont know who you are, how can anyone else?

 

Hope this helps. Glad to offer anything else that I can.

[ShyguyRod]

Yes Ninjaspank I am young, 17 going on 18.

I think about so many things, mostly just teenage garbage but I'm always thinking, sometimes I cant sleep because of it.

I know that because I am young I have plenty of time to find someone its just that I dont understand I cant have some practice relationships before then, most people seem to get a few of those.

What goes through my mind commonly is things like, "why does he get a car like that and I dont? I probly should do that homework but I'll do it tomorrow. Gee I wish I could have someone to talk to instead of just myself. etc etc"

A higher being, well I am undecided I guess I would like to think there is some form of afterlife and that we have someone watching over all of us.

Re-incarnation could be that chance to not make the same mistakes as in your other life, but how would you know about your other life? should you know about your other life/s?

Fate, I do believe in fate.

Teflon sticks to the pan cos mum and dad said it does

I know you probly didnt want me to answer those here but hey maybe it will help people understand me a bit more.

Thanks again Ninja, your knowledge was a very great help to me.

[NinjaSpank]

Meh, the questions were more for you then me, but I always enjoy hearing peoples answerers to those!

 

You're going to get tired of hearing it, just like I did. You are still so young. You have no idea how young you are until you aren't anymore. I didn't have my first serious girlfriend until I was 19, and that went up in flames. I didn't have my first relationship where I actually felt like I was really, truly in love and all that stuff until I was 23, and that didn't last either. And now, I'm single again. Its just how it goes.

 

Right now, honestly, all I can recommend is that you focus on whats in front of you. DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Thats a lesson I didn't listen to, and I wish I had. Just worry about being yourself, not who you think you should be and I promise, PROMISE that it will fall into place. The people who end up lonely in this wold are those who don't appreciate what it means to be them and so cant possibly appreciate what it means to be anyone else.

 

And don't worry about talking to yourself. It's supposed to be a sign of intelligence!... just be careful if you start answering yourself.

[ShyguyRod]

Aww but homework is just so not fun! I have no goals for school or when i leave school so I just dont have the drive to do anything.

About being myself, I dont really think I know what myself is anymore, I have tried to be a different person for certain people and Ive got lost now. So I'mma going to have to work that one out.

Thanks a lot for the help NinjaSpank.