Are you ok with "aggressive" flirting?

[bish]

Yeah, its flattering if Im attracted to them and they are single, but if I'm not attracted to them in any way, the thought in my head is "Please just get me out of here." I do the polite thing and smile and try to change the subject.

 

I get a lot of older men who hit on me at my job. (I work in a hospital.) It can get kinda uncomfortable. But, usually I take it lightly and let it go. But when one of my patients was asking me if I had a significant other and if he was good at giving me pleasure....THAT was quite a bit uncomfortable. (And he has a wife!) I just pretended to have a bf and that things were GREAT with us. I kept it pretty general.

 

I just wish more attractive men MY AGE hit on me the way that these older men do.

 

Anything like this video?:

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fRoFzT2slcM

[bish]

Bottom line from what I can tell from posters here is, if you are attractive and flirting, then its great.....if you are not attractive and flirting, then you act like its some sort of freakin' crime.

 

and that is about as narcissitic as you can get, cuz you'd have to assume that you are all that and a bag of chips yourself.

[Aussie65]

I was watching on the news last night about a new television show I think in the UK where a female deliberately flirts with other girls boyfriends.One scene was where a guy and his lady were getting romantic on the beach and this lady laid next to them and starting talking to her husband and THEN said to him,would you like me to take my top off.The guy that seemed to be quite cosy with his OH politely said "YESSSS" so then his gf/wife or whatever she was put her hands up to him and said something and walked off.

I was making a comment about the guys tackiness and my OH said to me "wouldn't you do the same if a guy came up to you?" and I said..."no,infact I would have told him where to go quick smart?"

 

I get uncomfortable with someone flirting with me and always have done.I guess more so when I am in a relationship it makes me feel awkard.I know now how my boyfriend would respond while I am out of site though.

[LN99]

Bottom line from what I can tell from posters here is, if you are attractive and flirting, then its great.....if you are not attractive and flirting, then you act like its some sort of freakin' crime.

 

and that is about as narcissitic as you can get, cuz you'd have to assume that you are all that and a bag of chips yourself.

 

 

I see what you are getting at. With most of them older gentlemen, I think its cute and flattering and I don't think too far into it. What really bugs me though is when its guys who are slightly older then me who are IN a relationship or married that do this. Or ANY GUY WHO goes overboard and really asks personal things when I hardly even know them. I mean there is a fine line between being subtle and being overly flirty. This line is crossed more often then not. Oh and trust me, I have had guys who WEREN'T all hot and perfect, flirt with me. A few I actually started to become attracted to. But when I found out they were involved with someone else, THAT RIGHT THERE, was a turn off. I felt like they were very misleading.

 

Oh yeah, and trust me...I don't think Im all that and a bag of chips.

[Steveto]

I also think it all depends on HOW the questions are asked when flirting. You can ask personal questions, but say it in such a way that it won't sound too intrusive. Although there are some personal questions that it doesn't matter how you ask it, she would want to kick your azz for asking. Flirting has a lot to do with being able to read the other person so you don't overstep your boundaries. It's also how you carry yourself. Looks don't matter..it's more timing than anything..at least that's what I think..

[cutegirl]

To be totally honest, I don't even talk back to strangers when I don't know them... They can flirt but I don't even acknowledge their presence, even if they are saying "hi" I absolutely do not make eye contact and ignore them totally, hopefully they'll think I don't speak English or something. I would not even bother to say "hi" back. I just don't like to talk to strangers.

 

I would only bother to talk back if it's a neighbor or someone I have to be in contact with again, just for security purposes in case they don't harm me or something for me being rude and because it would make me look bad if I have to see them again and they remember me being rude. If it was just someone I ran into at the store I wouldn't give a damn. There's plenty of other stores to go too...

 

They can try to flirt but they'll be talking to themselves. I just walk away.

 

I never flirt at all. I am just not the flirtatious type, I don't find it fun and don't get anything out of it. I don't like being flirted with either. I just like to be left alone. I don't get anything out of flirting. It does nothing for me.

[cutegirl]

Also, if some guy offered me free stuff for being cute, like what happened to you, I would refuse and INSIST on paying, as I don't need free crap from anybody. I like to pay so I don't owe anybody anything. I wouldn't accept it.

 

I would say" No, thanks, I prefer to pay, but thank you." I would be polite and say thanks, but I would make my tone sound businesslike and curt, not friendly, and I definitely would not smile.

 

If I go into a store and buy something it's a business transaction, I don't want free stuff, that's unprofessional. It's unprofessional and not business like to offer someone free stuff just because they are good looking. It's actually inapropiate and offensive.

 

And I would also be offended at a store owner asking me if I was married. What does that have to do with me shopping and buying something? And what's it to him anyways? It's unprofessional, I think I would file a complaint... lol

 

If I'm in a store to buy something the only thing I need is customer service. I don't need to be interrogated about my status or offered free stuff. If I want something I'll pay for it. That's what the store is for, so we can buy things there. It's not a meat market. (That's a whole different type of store).

[I love hot men.]

I don't like aggressive flirters and if you had high character, you would not have accepted the free gift. Sorry, but it's true.

[I love hot men.]

Also, if some guy offered me free stuff for being cute, like what happened to you, I would refuse and INSIST on paying, as I don't need free crap from anybody. I like to pay so I don't owe anybody anything. I wouldn't accept it.

 

I would say" No, thanks, I prefer to pay, but thank you." I would be polite and say thanks, but I would make my tone sound businesslike and curt, not friendly, and I definitely would not smile.

 

If I go into a store and buy something it's a business transaction, I don't want free stuff, that's unprofessional. It's unprofessional and not business like to offer someone free stuff just because they are good looking. It's actually inapropiate and offensive.

 

And I would also be offended at a store owner asking me if I was married. What does that have to do with me shopping and buying something? And what's it to him anyways? It's unprofessional, I think I would file a complaint... lol

 

If I'm in a store to buy something the only thing I need is customer service. I don't need to be interrogated about my status or offered free stuff. If I want something I'll pay for it. That's what the store is for, so we can buy things there. It's not a meat market. (That's a whole different type of store).

 

I totally agree. What this man did was sexual harrassment. He was taking advantage of his position as a store owner to intimidate potential customers. You don't go into a store to get blatantly hit on by the owner.....and his gf was there, ewwww.

[I love hot men.]

Oh what's the big deal? One day when you're an old married woman like me, you'll probably miss being flirted with.

 

So I take it you'd be completely OK with your husband aggressively flirting with cute younger women and giving them free stuff while you're in the other room? Wow, you have such a cool attitude.