Better off after Divorce??

[Trialbyfire]

This is very true. My wife has never had any work done and won't go near botox but she is beautiful. I think some of it has to do with who she is inside as well. Men need to stop going strictly on the phsyical because many attractive women are ugly on the inside.

It sounds like your wife won't end up with that herbivore look where her eyes end up on the side of her face from too much nip and tuck...

[Gunny376]

Give me an LJ, TBF, an LS woman any day! Damn the looks, its what's inside! My Eyes have seen the Glory of the Coming of the Lord! A wise man is more interested in what's between her ears than her legs! Freaking "A" ~ "Ooooraaahhhh! SemperFi, Do or Die~ Get some!

[Trialbyfire]

You know we love ya' Gunny.

[Gunny376]

I was blessed by one of the most homely and demanding of English teachers there ever was. Crippled, she didn't cut any slack!

 

Thank yolu ~ Miss Dean ~ She made a difference in my life!

[dgiirl]

Women, at the peak of their physical attractiveness, control the dating game. They have a lot of choices. But as they grow older, women feel the competition from youger women and are willing to settle for less than charming prince. The dating dynamics are reversed and the power goes back to the men as seasoned good men are difficult to find. The value of man tend to grow (growing social status, solid financial situation) while the value of a woman tend to decrease (decreasing physical attractiveness). Therefore, these women don't have the choice but to remain unmarried because they are not desirable anymore.

 

But the dating dynamics is about the change even for younger women. Learning from the horrible experience of older married men, the smart and successful young men have decided to not get married until they are past 30. Sometimes, they simply have decided never to get married. So competition among younger women for these alpha males is fierce. Smart women pursue these alpha men and know that they can only keep them around for marriage if they do not try to change them.

 

Nowadays, younger women still have the power in early games. But they have power over nice guys who wants to get married and who will end up pussy-whiped by them. So these women though they have the early power end up in divorce falling in the non-desirable category as previously described, wishing that they had the character to pursue the real alpha man of their dream instead of letting herself being pursed by doormats.

 

 

Wow, what a load of crock! You are basically saying a woman's only value is her attractiveness, and once she loses that she has no more worth. And that a man gains no benefit to be married, he just needs to sleep with as many women as he wants?. Maybe you havent played the field enough, but I know SEVERAL men who are sick of the dating world and are now looking for a LIFE partner, a REAL companion, a WIFE. And they are not looking for just a beautiful partner. They want someone with substance. Sure, looks might get you noticed more, but it definitely will NOT garuantee you a happy marriage.

 

You might think it sounds fake, but i am ONE woman who is happy in her singleness. I know I have MORE value to myself and MY LIFE then just landing a husband and poping out kids. Sure, I wouldnt mind finding a life partner, but I would rather be single for the rest of my life, than miserable with someone who doesnt value me or add anything positive to my life. I have such a better fullfilling and happier life NOW than I ever had while I was married. And if men who think like you are my only option, I would rather be alone.

[notspiritual]

You are basically saying a woman's only value is her attractiveness, and once she loses that she has no more worth.

A woman’s only value to most men is her attractiveness. The woman can be sharp, have money and have a lot of hobbies, this is undeniable value for her but for most men it does not mean ****. Think of Bill Clinton. Few woman had more “value” than his wife but still he preferred an intern to his smart wife. Once a woman loses her attractiveness she has no more worth in the dating game.

 

I know SEVERAL men who are sick of the dating world and are now looking for a LIFE partner, a REAL companion, a WIFE. And they are not looking for just a beautiful partner. They want someone with substance.

I have several explanations for the behaviors of these men

1. They are the nice guys who will end up pussy-whipped by their wife.

2. They are not successful in the dating world so they want a settle for less but something secure.

3. They are lying to you in order to get into your pants.

4. If they are successful in the dating game but claim that they are sick of the dating world, ask yourself why they have not proposed to you. It is very likely that your fulfilling life has no value to them.

 

You might think it sounds fake, but i am ONE woman who is happy in her singleness. I know I have MORE value to myself and MY LIFE then just landing a husband and poping out kids. Sure, I wouldnt mind finding a life partner, but I would rather be single for the rest of my life, than miserable with someone who doesnt value me or add anything positive to my life. I have such a better fullfilling and happier life NOW than I ever had while I was married. And if men who think like you are my only option, I would rather be alone.

 

You would not need to convince me that you are happy if you sincerely were. Jumping to justify your happiness like this makes me think that I am right. Don’t say “I wouldn’t mind finding a partner” when you want to say “I’d love with all my heart to find a life partner.”

[Melovator]

A woman’s only value to most men is her attractiveness. The woman can be sharp, have money and have a lot of hobbies, this is undeniable value for her but for most men it does not mean ****. Think of Bill Clinton. Few woman had more “value” than his wife but still he preferred an intern to his smart wife. Once a woman loses her attractiveness she has no more worth in the dating game.

 

So if you're homely you're stuffed? Thanks, I thought I'd rid myself of that teenage trauma... Monica Lewinsky was more physically attractive than Hilary? The mind boggles... I'd just thought he liked a handjob with his ego stroking... Though when you're leader of the free world shouldn't you have enough ego???

 

NotSpiritual you're reacting to the world at its ugliest- to the meanest and dirtiest things that human beings can do to each other, to the shallow games that people play to try and feel good. How would you like the world to be? In your perfect universe how would women and men relate to each other? Would there still be women and men even? Or are we heading towards Judge Dredd electronic sex? And this is a conversation that everyone needs to be having because we don't live in the world our grandparents did. So if its not 'forever and ever amen' how do we define relationships? Please give me your utopian vision, not your 1984. Though you might prefer the Brave New World version of sex and relationships...

[dgiirl]

A woman’s only value to most men is her attractiveness. The woman can be sharp, have money and have a lot of hobbies, this is undeniable value for her but for most men it does not mean ****. Think of Bill Clinton. Few woman had more “value” than his wife but still he preferred an intern to his smart wife. Once a woman loses her attractiveness she has no more worth in the dating game.

 

 

I have several explanations for the behaviors of these men

1. They are the nice guys who will end up pussy-whipped by their wife.

2. They are not successful in the dating world so they want a settle for less but something secure.

3. They are lying to you in order to get into your pants.

4. If they are successful in the dating game but claim that they are sick of the dating world, ask yourself why they have not proposed to you. It is very likely that your fulfilling life has no value to them.

 

 

 

You would not need to convince me that you are happy if you sincerely were. Jumping to justify your happiness like this makes me think that I am right. Don’t say “I wouldn’t mind finding a partner” when you want to say “I’d love with all my heart to find a life partner.”

 

Who's trying to convince YOU? I'm just calling BS on what you wrote. You obviously have no respect for women, and are trying to generalize YOUR beliefs on the whole male race.

[Fanny]

LOL!

Not spiritual this is so provocative, I have to wonder if you are deliberately trolling.

 

Deep inside they are sad because their dream as a little girl to find a charming prince that will sweep them off their feet did not happen.

 

Actually, my ideal vision now that I've had kids is a best friend with benefits that lives near me but in his own place because I DON'T LIKE TO SHARE! The idea of co habituating/marrying someone, which I have done four times in my life now sounds burdensome. I want play with none of the business end.

 

For a man, it is never too late to find his dream wife, because his attractiveness relies on his social status which usually increases with time.

 

Wrong, if he's made of money and he's in his sixties he's still going to have some trouble because most women would rather be alone than be caregivers. Its a hard thankless job.

 

My Grandmother got her last proposal when she was in her seventies - well well beyond her bootie years and as victorian as she was she said "No. No more picking up after men."

[dgiirl]

My Grandmother got her last proposal when she was in her seventies - well well beyond her bootie years and as victorian as she was she said "No. No more picking up after men."

 

lol God bless her!

 

My grandma was the same! She had plenty of suitors into her old age, but after she had raised her 5 kids and got a divorce, she had no more interest in marriage. It was now HER time to play. And who can blame her? She had so many friends and suitors, and was free to come and go as she pleases, why would she want to tie herself down to one guy again?

[TXButterfly]

interesting thoughts by all, thanks for the ray of hope!

[sumdude]

You know it's a bit soon to say.. But in some ways I'm already better off. At least with the work I've done with myself and what i've learned from it all.

 

I guess it all comes down to how you approach it... People can take a hard look at themselves when the sh** hits the fan. Makes you realize how short life is and what we can't take for granted. It's a soul wrenching experience and you don't come out the same way you went into it. Make the best of what we have and learn the hard lessons. See it as an ooportunity to rebuild youself and your life in a way that YOU choose.

[notspiritual]

Please give me your utopian vision,

I am not an utopist as it is a waste of thinking energy.

I am a darwinist, I see how women behave and I am creating myself a life that is adapted to my environment.

 

are trying to generalize YOUR beliefs on the whole male race.

These are not beliefs, this is evolutionary theory sciences.

A man wants a healthy partner who will be able to successfully carry his genes in the future. That is why a man is subconsciously attracted to a beautiful woman. A woman wants protection while she is pregnant and has young children. That is why a woman is subconsciously attracted to rich men with high social status. That is also why wives get rid of their husbands when the children are almost adult or when she feels she can take care of the children by herself (of course with the alimony, the child support, and the house of the husband).

 

Actually, my ideal vision now that I've had kids is a best friend with benefits that lives near me but in his own place because I DON'T LIKE TO SHARE! The idea of co habituating/marrying someone, which I have done four times in my life now sounds burdensome.

See how evolutionary theory is correct in this case: once a woman has successfully procreated, she wants to get rid of the husband. Most women would still dream of a life partner after a divorce, that is why this woman has tried 4 four times. I bet she would try a fifth time if given the opportunity, unfortunately she might not be competitive enough in the dating world. Therefore, she needs to invent herself some excuses like ‘it sounds burdensome’.

 

Wrong, if he's made of money and he's in his sixties he's still going to have some trouble because most women would rather be alone than be caregivers. Its a hard thankless job.

 

Most women would rather not be alone because they want to be taken care of and an old rich man in his sixties can take care of a woman, not the other way around. Even in his sixties he can easily hang out with hot babes in their 20’s or 30’s, so why bother with grandma?

[Trialbyfire]

These are not beliefs, this is evolutionary theory sciences.

A man wants a healthy partner who will be able to successfully carry his genes in the future. That is why a man is subconsciously attracted to a beautiful woman. A woman wants protection while she is pregnant and has young children. That is why a woman is subconsciously attracted to rich men with high social status. That is also why wives get rid of their husbands when the children are almost adult or when she feels she can take care of the children by herself (of course with the alimony, the child support, and the house of the husband).

I'm uncertain if you can apply science to the laws of attraction. If you consider the historical North American Indian, what was considered a beautiful and desirable woman? Why does one man find Paris Hilton beautiful and another man find her ugly?

[notspiritual]

I'm uncertain if you can apply science to the laws of attraction.

When you use the word laws of attraction, you indirectly imply that science is applicable.

 

If you consider the historical North American Indian, what was considered a beautiful and desirable woman?

I don’t know, tell me. But I bet younger is more desirable than older.

 

Why does one man find Paris Hilton beautiful and another man find her ugly?

I have several explanations for the men who find her ugly:

1. They are in the very tiny minority.

2. They have bad genes, so nature wanted to make sure that they do not replicate with a healthy partner.

3. They are lying to increase their perceived value in the dating world.

If this hot babe is ugly to him, then he must be the man.

4. They are lying to get into your pants.

They know women are insecure and afraid that he will leave for a younger babe, so they reassure them.

[sumdude]

I'm uncertain if you can apply science to the laws of attraction. If you consider the historical North American Indian, what was considered a beautiful and desirable woman? Why does one man find Paris Hilton beautiful and another man find her ugly?

 

Well if you want your offspring to be intelligent she's not the best choice... certainly at this point she wouldn't make a good role model or caretaker... She's also too thin.. I find the attraction to rail thin women to be counterintuitive if you want to take the scientific approach to a good mother. A bit of body fat is healthier for childbearing ... my how we digress here.

[Herzen]

notspiritual's neo-Darwinian (survival of the prettiest?)positions on male sexual attraction, while not applicable to all men in every particular instance and painful to read, are, as a general matter, roughly accurate.

 

Whenever evo principles are applied to the dating game sparks are sure to fly. Just bear in mind that macro-truths are not always micro-truths.

 

Still, as a matter of evolutionary biology and the science of attraction LoveShack's social Darwinist is on the money.

 

And yes, I'd have sex with Paris Hilton--skinny or not.

[Zona76]

I'd fought to save mine too. Sadly NOT because I loved him, but because I didn't think I could afford to raise the children on my salary alone. I knew nothing about child support. Many years. Too long. In the end I think it was consensual. But when I consented he was there to fight and argue and ask the "WHY"?

At the end I had found someone else too and for me it was a relief to have the weight off me.

When you can accept it you are lighter. You can feel the relief flow from you. Your friends can see it your family too.

I'm now asked why I stayed so long? I can't answer that. But I know the time for me to go, when I did, was right for me.

[notspiritual]

I find the attraction to rail thin women to be counterintuitive if you want to take the scientific approach to a good mother.

Big boobs = a lot of milk for the kids

Big butt = easy to give birth

Red lips = good blood circulation

Thin = accentuate big boobs and big butt + she can run from predators + no need to feed her too much + she won’t steal food from the kids + after you have smashed her in the head you can easily drag her to the cave

 

All the advantages that the prehistoric man saw have remained in our subconscious mind.

[Trialbyfire]

When you use the word laws of attraction, you indirectly imply that science is applicable.

 

I don’t know, tell me. But I bet younger is more desirable than older.

 

I have several explanations for the men who find her ugly:

1. They are in the very tiny minority.

2. They have bad genes, so nature wanted to make sure that they do not replicate with a healthy partner.

3. They are lying to increase their perceived value in the dating world.

If this hot babe is ugly to him, then he must be the man.

4. They are lying to get into your pants.

They know women are insecure and afraid that he will leave for a younger babe, so they reassure them.

Semantics... The claim to scientific theory was yours, defining that beauty was the driver. Beauty is subjective so your generalization doesn't work.

 

Broad, squat and strong. Teeth were optional at the time. Also, consider the polynesian example of beauty. Consider how some men prefer different ethnicities and some men prefer heavier women.

 

Once again, strictly personal opinion.

[Ladyjane14]

notspiritual's neo-Darwinian (survival of the prettiest?)positions on male sexual attraction, while not applicable to all men in every particular instance and painful to read, are, as a general matter, roughly accurate.

 

That might be true, Herzen, but.... "survival of the prettiest" doesn't explain my last trip through the local Walmart.

 

 

:p

[reservoirdog1]

Financially, I'm definitely worse off. I got stuck with a bunch of debt mostly run up by WXW (which I took because I'd been in school for 3 years, but hey, that was supposed to be an investment in US...). Besides which, I'd probably own a home by now if we'd stayed together. Instead she owns one with her rich 20 years older BF.

 

In every other way, however, I'm better off. I'm a more confident person now than I was then, I've moved ahead in my career. I have a GF who's better looking than WXW ever was, and with whom I have a better sex life than I ever thought possible, and who thinks the world of me and isn't a grouchy bitch all the time, unlike WXW. I feel better about myself and glad to not have WXW in my life very much anymore.

 

There IS life after divorce -- it just takes time.

[notspiritual]

Beauty is subjective

True on a micro-level but not true on a macro-level.

That is why most successful top models, actresses, misses universe, are young and thin.

 

some men prefer heavier women.

In what part of the world do men prefer heavier women?

Please let me know so I can go there and get all the thin chicks for myself without any competition.

 

To get back to the subject of the thread, most women after a divorce are miserable. They cannot be happy being alone. They don’t have the maturity for that. They also need drama. Sometimes they have lost their attractiveness to find a suitable life partner. So they try to compensate with a fulfilling single life but this is only a poor consolation. They invent themselves reasons why they are happier being single rather than face the reality of their unhappiness. They are jealous when their girlfriends find a suitable man. The single woman also want a man that she can mistreat and suck the money from. The worst fear of a woman is to die alone.

[sumdude]

To get back to the subject of the thread, most women after a divorce are miserable. They cannot be happy being alone. They don’t have the maturity for that. They also need drama. Sometimes they have lost their attractiveness to find a suitable life partner. So they try to compensate with a fulfilling single life but this is only a poor consolation. They invent themselves reasons why they are happier being single rather than face the reality of their unhappiness. They are jealous when their girlfriends find a suitable man. The single woman also want a man that she can mistreat and suck the money from. The worst fear of a woman is to die alone.

 

 

Alright NS, now I'm calling you out on this one. If this was the case why would 70% of divorces be initiated by women?!

 

I might agree on a couple levels to some things you say but this is so clearly your way of dealing with your W not wanting you and you hoping she is miserable to keep your ego intact..... or you're just trolling and playing devil's advocate.

[Herzen]

That might be true, Herzen, but.... "survival of the prettiest" doesn't explain my last trip through the local Walmart.

 

 

:p

 

You win that one!!! :D:D