Oreo Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 I am getting married this May 31st, and I am totally thrilled. I can't wait. I have no doubts about this marriage, and I love my fiance with all my heart, and I know there isn't a better match for me. I just have one little concern. We have had all the necessary pre-marriage talks...money..kids...etc. I definently want kids and he says he does too. We have a cat that is about 6-7 months old, and he is in that stage where he gets kinda wild sometimes, climbs the curtains and stuff (he lives with my fiance). And my fiance really gets pissed at him sometimes. He doesn't hurt him, but he isn't very affectionate towards him like I am, and he even wanted to get rid of him the other day b/c he made a mess in the living room. I don't know this is silly or what - but I kinda think "what if he acts like that to our kids one day". I want him to be an affectionate father and a daddy that just loves and dotes on his kids, and he doesn't act like that towards our cat. Is this a reflection of how he might act towards our kids? His dad was a super jerk and I don't want him to be. Am I being silly to worry about this, or should I be concerned? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 you've got every right to be concerned about the future daddy of your future children, but I don't think a pet is the ultimate indicator of how your guy will be with children. You're better off watching him interact with smaller cousins or siblings, or even nieces and nephews. A somewhat strict dad isn't the worst thing a kid can have, if you ask me; however, many guys just aren't exposed to kids, so they tend to be very serious when it comes to caring for them and come across as cold or mean or very strict. ask him how he feels about certain situations that come up when you raise a child (do we get the kid whatever toy he wants so he won't be deprived or do we be careful about what we give him so he will grow up learning to appreciate what he's got? stuff like that). I think that would be a good indicator of how he will be raising his children. as far as your kitty goes, it sounds like he gets upset because he expects him to be properly trained when he's still just a kitten. Do a little research on cats to see what to expect for his age level, the same way you'd do when you want to see what stage your child is supposed to be at for his age. his dad being a jerk? maybe he'll be like that because he was exposed to that, but chances are, he might reject his dad's methods of childrearing and will try harder to be better with his own kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Stuck Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 LOL. Sorry, just had to throw this out there: you just responded to my old post about not liking my engagement ring (by the way, I now have a white gold plain band with a little diamond on it - just what I wanted too!) and we are getting married on May 31 also. Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted February 24, 2003 Share Posted February 24, 2003 Congratulations on the engagement. Don't worry about your husband's behavior with the cat. Just because he doesn't like the cat doesn't mean he will mistreat the children. Everybody has their likes and dislikes and things they're passionate about and not passionate about. Maybe your finance just doesn't like the cat as much as you. That's just about all to the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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