1-year since break-up 3 months since last contact...

[badian]

To make a long story short, my ex is in a different country. And when I returned to the US, we tried to "keep in contact" but it got too confusing, a bit emotional, I felt like I was being "lead on" at times, and I felt she would tell me stuff just to get a reaction. At same time, she says she will always be there for me and if I moved back to europe, she would help. As of now, I think that offer is no longer valid. (read on to see why.)

 

I let her know, via email, that enough is enough. It's a quality of life issue, for me. I noticed that I felt worse after our conversations as time went on, because she always would tell me things I didn't want to hear. So, after I sent that email, pretty much letting her know that I don't want to keep in contact with her if she's going to be mean, don't tell me about your current boyfriend (I don't care about him), and don't tell me about living in Germany and how it's a nice life. (ie. rubbing it in my face) Like she was baiting me. I realize she's a young 27 years and it shows. (I'm 35)

 

So, I haven't heard from her since. I believe I hurt her feelings and got my point accross. (3 months NC) and I feel that I'm finally getting over her. I have my days. It's hard to get over somebody that could of been your wife. For I never really got a chance to get over her because we keep in contact. I don't feel like dating, I just want to cruise and take it easy. I like being single. The sad thing is that I don't trust her at all and could never get back together with her, not after seeing true colors.

 

And I'm thinking to myself....she's somebody else's problem, because that guy she's with doesn't know that her girlfriend has been calling her ex for the past year, once a month. Did she do that to me, when we were together? Our B-Days are coming up and I'm torn. We are 2 days apart. I'm thinking against calling her. Why? Let it be. Need some feedback both male and female. Was there a better way to handle this situation? I want to learn from all my relationships. But I feel somewhat sad...because I felt I did my best to be a great man for her.

 

Thanks,

Badian

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

You did your best, Badian. If she is the way you describe her, then she's just not your type of person (being "young" has nothing to do with it).

 

You've gotten yourself in a slightly better place, now, and you're enjoying being single. You don't want to be back where you were. Getting back in touch with her will only re-start all the mind-games she used to play.

 

So what if your birthdays are close? A few hundred thousand people all over the world, probably share your birthdays.

 

I understand you have your days of feeling really bad. But do you really want to go back to those days? I think not.

 

So just keep doing what you're doing, you'll soon be much better!

[badian]

Hello,

 

This is a follow up, to an earlier post. My ex is in another country......and 3 months from the last contact. When she told me we would not get back together, if I moved back...then I thought our conversations were over. I sent her two strong emails about how I felt, and I didn't expect to hear from her again. Then she called a few days ago saying she was mad, in regards to my email. She apologizes for her behavior, gets into whats going on with her life, (doesn't mention her current bf) like were old friends. The funny thing is that she insists on bieng friends with me. The whole time I'm asking myself, why? You have a bf so, its obvious he doesn't know all of this. (No man would take that behavior from any current gf) Why would you communicate with an ex regularly, if you were not interested? Is this a German/European thing?

 

need some feedback..what is this about? I just think its weird, I'm not loosing sleep over it. Not dating...just cruising and being patient and open minded.

Badian

[funkybassplayer]

Mate just walk away, she using you as someone to feel good with. F... her new boyfreind, her birthday and her great life, you dont wanna know do you? Just tell her not too contact you anymore, and there will be no more mind games and no more feeling bad after calls. Be free enjoy and find yourself, leave em to it!