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Why do you husbands and wives stay after being cheated on?

Kcunpredictable

By Kcunpredictable,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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NEW BEGINNING, dont apologize like I said I REALLY was the other woman not you guys on the other end who are classified as the other woman. The wives and husbands are TRUELY the OW/OM. In affairs the MM or MW make the OM/OW the top priority not the spouses. Get it.

This is to IWALH, your right I guess I should have asked that question Why would the cheating spouse stay in the marriage when clearly they are looking elswhere for something they are lacking at home. good one and by the way I already posted myfirst question in the marriage community. Who knows maybe It will shed some light on that subject too. HOW DO YOU PUT THE QUOTES OF SOMEONE ELSE DOWN HERE? I KEEP TRYING AND FAILING.

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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Just use the "QUOTE"button at the bottom of the post you wish to quote or you can cut and paste and use the little dialogue icon at the top of the post once you hit reply, it's the third icon in from the right that looks like a litttle quote bubble. Or cut and past and at the begining of a quote put [ quote ] and when you are done put a [ / quote ] not so spread out I had to do it like that to demonstrate. did that make sense?

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Just use the "QUOTE"button at the bottom of the post you wish to quote or you can cut and paste and use the little dialogue icon at the top of the post once you hit reply, it's the third icon in from the right that looks like a litttle quote bubble. Or cut and past and at the begining of a quote put [ quote ] and when you are done put a [ / quote ] not so spread out I had to do it like that to demonstrate. did that make sense?

LIKE THAT :cool: I HOPE THIS COMES OUT RIGHT

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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NEW BEGINNING, dont apologize like I said I REALLY was the other woman not you guys on the other end who are classified as the other woman. The wives and husbands are TRUELY the OW/OM. In affairs the MM or MW make the OM/OW the top priority not the spouses. Get it.

I'll have to disagree with that one. In my situation, the OW was only there for convenience for my ex. He used her bad.

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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LIKE THAT :cool: I HOPE THIS COMES OUT RIGHT

 

 

Exactly like that!!! ;):):)

 

Go quote happy LOL

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Nope, I didn't stay in the marriage either. But when D-day arrived, I made him dump his OW under a semi. Then I divorced him. All's well that ends well. Win/win y'know...

 

:DGood for you.I should have done that I just walked away. What makes you say that he used her bad though?

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Curmudgeon

Curmudgeon

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Just funnin' ya.

 

He's out there. If you don't find him he'll find you.

 

Ya know, it really happens! ;)

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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:DGood for you.I should have done that I just walked away. What makes you say that he used her bad though?

 

If you ask me you did the right thing, what's the point so he dumps her and then when you divorce him he goes right back to her...really it's wasted energy. You took care of #1 good for you!

Though making him dump the OW could produce some short term satisfaction I can see why a BS would want that but in the end he could still gone back in time so....

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Ok Tom cat another question how in the world do I change my little dot under my name that says Im online or not online mine is saying im invisible?

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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:DGood for you.I should have done that I just walked away. What makes you say that he used her bad though?

She met certain unhealthy needs of his. D-day happened from around 5:00 pm until we went to sleep. The next morning by 10:00, he had dumped her badly. He helped me meet her by myself once, then helped to arrange a three-way meeting, all the while feeding me information about her that would be useful. Basically, he thought that if he redirected my anger from himself to her, he would win me back.

 

There's a ton more of this story but I'm not going to get into it. Karma is wicked mean...

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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Kcunpredictable LOL in the whole time I have been here I just noticed a few days ago mine read that as well, LOL to be honest I think it just looks like that for the user but the rest can see your status...unless someone else knows a little trick I have not caught on to?

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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If you ask me you did the right thing, what's the point so he dumps her and then when you divorce him he goes right back to her...really it's wasted energy. You took care of #1 good for you!

Though making him dump the OW could produce some short term satisfaction I can see why a BS would want that but in the end he could still gone back in time so....

:sick:Now that would make me sick.....but who cares she can have him. At least I would hope I made her soooo sad for one night anyway then she would know how I felt.:D

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Woggle

Woggle

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Because they have no self respect and low self esteem which causes them to believe they can do no better. Also it is a shock to find out that the person you love is a complete phony.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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If you ask me you did the right thing, what's the point so he dumps her and then when you divorce him he goes right back to her...really it's wasted energy. You took care of #1 good for you!

Though making him dump the OW could produce some short term satisfaction I can see why a BS would want that but in the end he could still gone back in time so....

No...as an ex-betrayed spouse, if handled properly, he will never go back...

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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She met certain unhealthy needs of his. D-day happened from around 5:00 pm until we went to sleep. The next morning by 10:00, he had dumped her badly. He helped me meet her by myself once, then helped to arrange a three-way meeting, all the while feeding me information about her that would be useful. Basically, he thought that if he redirected my anger from himself to her, he would win me back.

 

There's a ton more of this story but I'm not going to get into it. Karma is wicked mean...

I see that in your case wish I could have used your tactics to late for that and I really dont care now, well I guess I do in a sense never goes away you know.

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Trail by fire how can you make sure he/she doesnt go back to the OM/OW? what worked in your favor so as your husband didnt go back to her?

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Because they have no self respect and low self esteem which causes them to believe they can do no better. Also it is a shock to find out that the person you love is a complete phony.

 

And you are;)

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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No...as an ex-betrayed spouse, if handled properly, he will never go back...

 

 

Ahh maybe in your case but never say never...

 

you actually did the OW a favour by exposing your ex's true colours. What a class act (your ex that is...). I suppose a lot of men turn on the OW to get their W off their backs, I see it talked about here all the time. It's the oldest trick in the book and instant "trust bulider" But good for you for seeing past it.

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Tomcat33

Tomcat33

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. Also it is a shock to find out that the person you love is a complete phony.

 

 

Yeah that combined with the overwhelming thought of having to start their lives over can be quite scary. I can see that and almost understand it. For some spouses that's all they know and they depend too much on their mates.

 

What I don't understand once the dust settles how do you shut out the thoughts, or even if their spouse read some of the emails, in some cases the spouse hacked their emial and read so many intimate romantic things being said by their partners to another person, just how do you overcome that? I just don't get that!?!?

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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I hope new beginning will answer back. I didnt mean to hurt her feelings. I am geniuly concerned about what happen when the wife found out about your pregnancy and how she handled it with you, and how your mm dealt with you and your baby, I Hope he didnt walk away from you and the baby. bad enough what he did to his wife but worse to walk away from his daughter. Do you get money support from him for her he SHOULD at least do that one. Another question does your daughter have his last name could you do that even though he was married at the time? I hope I dont sound totally stupid to you...

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Kcunpredictable

Kcunpredictable

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Tomcat thank goodness I didnt read or hear him say anything to her. I dont know how I would have gotten that out of my mind. I do wonder how they do it too? Anyone on here that can answer our question?

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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Trail by fire how can you make sure he/she doesnt go back to the OM/OW? what worked in your favor so as your husband didnt go back to her?

Ex-husband. They were two unhealthy individuals who fed off each other. All it took was to start the domino effect. The rest was taken care of by each other. Tinder to a dry grass fire. Sorry but that's all I'm going to say.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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Ahh maybe in your case but never say never...

 

you actually did the OW a favour by exposing your ex's true colours. What a class act (your ex that is...). I suppose a lot of men turn on the OW to get their W off their backs, I see it talked about here all the time. It's the oldest trick in the book and instant "trust bulider" But good for you for seeing past it.

Nah, she was scum too. They both knew it.

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Woggle

Woggle

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Some people especially men blame themselves which causes the cheating spouse to lose respect for them and just do it again. If a person really is going to forgive a cheating spouse they need to drag it out and make the cheater sweat a little bit. As for me I would just leave if my wife cheated. My first wife cheated and I pulled the ring right off her finger.

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