Touche Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 And which brains does you thinks with? Which do you think?
orangehose Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 Exactly, exactly. Women have put them in the friend zone, but the men are still so horny they could burst. She's feeling yucky, and he's thinking sticky. My (female) friend has an interesting attitude about this, which is that since men typically have the higher drive, they'll always want more (physically), but since they're USED to wanting more, it doesn't really matter. THat is, since they're aware of their desire and its tendency to not always be reciprocated, it's up to them to manage it and choose whether to continue the friendship, etc etc...
Dumbledore Posted July 4, 2007 Posted July 4, 2007 , it's up to them to manage it You're exactly right. Or, more accurately, your friend is. The men stick around because they believe the women will eventually need a shoulder to cry on, and will accept a willing dick instead. I guess it can be comforting (being warm and satisfying), but the men's hopes go up and down with their erections, I'm afraid.
halfarock Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 OK. Let me clarify. If you bang your friend silly, and get all the sexual tension out of your system, then maybe - just maybe - you can be friends. But the sex (and lots of it) must come first. That is not at all what it was. When we first met we both knew that we greatly liked each other which naturally led to sex. But once we started having sex (and it wasn’t all that good, if you want to know) we both agreed that it wasn’t sex that attracted us to each other. I have another friend, nearly as close, and we have never had sex, I’ve never even considered it. My business associates, both women, both my friends, I’ve never considered having sex with them either. The thing is, it is relatively easy for me to find women to have sex with and has been ever since I was in high school. But I’ve discovered that one can have a lot of fun with women without sex. Several times over I’ve run into women with obvious crushes on me who’ve I’ve just teased and teased but never had sex with them because I had no real interest. I have a little (maybe a lot) more control than most. So, Dumbledore, being gay, can you be just friends with guys? Or do they all turn you on?
Dumbledore Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 But once we started having sex (and it wasn’t all that good, if you want to know) we both agreed that it wasn’t sex that attracted us to each other. Exactly. Men and women can be friends once the sex has run its course. So, Dumbledore, being gay, can you be just friends with guys? Or do they all turn you on? No, but I can be friends with women. I generally don't like having women friends, though, because I know they probably want to have sex with me. I can tell by the way they stare at my arse.
halfarock Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Exactly. Men and women can be friends once the sex has run its course. Selective reading? Ignore what doesn't agree with your position.
Dumbledore Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Selective reading? Ignore what doesn't agree with your position. Well, I left out all that crap about you bragging, but that was because it had no relevance to this thread. Congratulations on being so modest, and having more control than most. I shudder to think about how many women you would have had sex with, otherwise. Shuddering with delight, of course.
Touche Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Yeah, no offense halfabrain...err I mean halfarock, but your arrogance and cockiness is quite a turn-off to most women. You might want to re-think that approach.
monkey00 Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 I think it's very possible but often a rare occurence. It takes a lot of maturity from both parties, while at the same time not wanting to jump into each other's pants. also, they must have genuine concern for each other...instead of keeping them around because they give them an ego boost becuase they wanna screw em! I've tried being friends with women, but often they are too unreliable. In no way am I sexually attracted to them (although I admit I was in the past). But generally unless they feel/believe I'm sexually attracted to them, for the most part they keep their distance or have no interest in talking to me. to me that isnt a friend, that's an acquantance. So in my case since they are too unreliable, there's no point in having female friends.
cutegirl Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Men are not CAPABLE of having strictly platonic relationships, there will ALWAYS be sexual tensions. Men fantasize about every other women they see who is attractive, the bank taller, cashier, random chick on the street, their teacher, co worker, gf's best friend etc .... They will store the image of her in their brain and recall on it later when they are jerking off. MANY men have told me this. Men can make excellent friends. To be honest, even though I think most men cheat, I get along with them better than women because most women are extremely catty and competitive, they are much bitchier, BUT if you are hot the guy WILL fantasize and jerk off to you. If a man doesn't, it probably means he finds you unattractive. I believe men and women can be friends but it can NEVER be PURELY platonic as it would be with the member of the same sex. Men always want to bang anything that is remotely attractive. They would probably bang their second cousin or step sister if she looked like a model, let alone a friend...
halfarock Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Well, I left out all that crap about you bragging, but that was because it had no relevance to this thread. Congratulations on being so modest, and having more control than most. I shudder to think about how many women you would have had sex with, otherwise. Shuddering with delight, of course. That is where you are wrong. I was making the point that I can be friends with women because I'm not always trying to get a woman for sex. I don't have to. Most guys act the way they do around women because they can only get what they can get. I don't have that problem.
halfarock Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Yeah, no offense halfabrain...err I mean halfarock, but your arrogance and cockiness is quite a turn-off to most women. You might want to re-think that approach. Yes, and if I was standing in front of you smiling you'd be squirming like all the rest.
Touche Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Yes, and if I was standing in front of you smiling you'd be squirming like all the rest. Doubtful, honey.
LoveLace Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Exactly. Men see romance as the next step but women feel brotherly about their male friends and think it's "yucky" if he has feelings for them. I'm in the reverse situation...I think...I'm convinced my roommate must think I'm "yucky"...
Trialbyfire Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Civilized man hasn't come very far if they only perceive women as sexual objects. If women were viewed as equals, they would be considered for friendships.
underpants Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Selective reading? Ignore what doesn't agree with your position. Yes, I have noticed for a while now his preference for dissecting someone else's response to deliver a zinger, or prove his point, or simply to be provactive for the sake of provativity alone. Come on agic, care to tell us your story? Without the use of someone else's butchered words? Hmmm, care to elaborate?
Aussie65 Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 I think maturity has a lot to do with it.My man likes to keep in contact with all his ex bonks and calls them good friends but from past history he tends to keep them more on hand for the "just in case" this relationship falls through and I can go back to one of these ones. I feel uncomfortable knowing my partner is friends with someone he has been intimate with and knowing what a flirt he is I honestly don't believe he can keep them just as friends without crossing that line as what happened some months ago after he introduced me to an ex bonk of his and her reassuring me NOTHING was going on....just friends...I found out only by pure chance he accidently recorded a conversation on his phone to her and it was hardly a conversation "just friends" would have...more like lusting buddies. Remembering too....good friends so to speak will keep secrets from you...they will put their heads together and you may never find out what truly is the nature of their relationship as they will take their little secrets to the grave with them defending their bestest buddy all the way. I have heard so often where best opposite friends have been more then just that....a good friend of mine had her marriage break up due to her husbands best female friend that she trusted for many years only to find out that while she was in hopsital having major surgery she was staying at their family home sleeping with him. I think some people believe it's OK to have this kind of relationship which is sworn to secrecy.....then you do find those that are just friends but be weary of the unattached ones for when your having problems in your relationship they are usually the first ones your partner runs to for comfort. Call be bitter but been here before...can't trust it not if they have been intimate at some time..
Pyro Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 I've got a couple of questions for you all. 1. I personally think that it is possible to have platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, I don't see why a person's gender should make that much of a difference. You either like a person for who they are or you don't, right? But I've also been told by a couple of men that a guy is only interested in a friendship if he's attracted to the other person and wants to take it further. So am I being naive or do these men have a valid point? 2. If your closest friend besides your SO is of the opposite sex just where are the lines drawn between friendship and emotional affair? I've seen several threads lately regarding emotional affairs and it's got me wondering if maybe no matter how innocent a friendship may be, if two people are very close then is their friendship still as damaging as an emotional affair? 1. Of course it is possible. I am a living and breathing example of that. Her and I have been the closest of friends for almost 10 years now. During the 10 years, both her and I have been single and in relationships. I will say that a couple of times during the 10 years we have had fall outs that have had nothing to do with attraction. It was merely stupid drunken drama. Guys that say it is not possible is because they have tried to be friends with a girl just to try and get in her pants and it backfired. As long as the want to try and get in the other persons pants is not there, then the friendship will be long and successful. 2. No emotional affair with this friendship. Her and I just talk about random BS and stuff along those lines.
the D Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Call be bitter but been here before...can't trust it not if they have been intimate at some time.. The honest truth is that one of them will want to bone the other. It may be a deep, dark secret, but that's the way it always is. If they would just ask their "friends," then that would become clear to them. Well, they will deny it with words of course, but there will be that telltale look of confirmation in their eyes. Men and women as friends? Not in a million years. One is always using the other as an ego boost.
Pyro Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 The honest truth is that one of them will want to bone the other. It may be a deep, dark secret, but that's the way it always is. If they would just ask their "friends," then that would become clear to them. Well, they will deny it with words of course, but there will be that telltale look of confirmation in their eyes. Men and women as friends? Not in a million years. One is always using the other as an ego boost. Maybe in your experience and some others but its not the same for everyone, so don't assume that we are all the same. Thats just your experience.
the D Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 , so don't assume that we are all the same. Are you trying to say that your "friend" doesn't want to lie on top of you, and move up and down rapidly? You should ask her. She knows you don't want to, but that's hardly the point. Face it - you're pretty much irresistible.
Pyro Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Are you trying to say that your "friend" doesn't want to lie on top of you, and move up and down rapidly? You should ask her. She knows you don't want to, but that's hardly the point. Face it - you're pretty much irresistible. Oh, for a sec. I thought that you were a serious LS member. For the record, we have never kissed and she has a child with her BF.
the D Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 For the record, we have never kissed and she has a child with her BF. She has to get on with her life, and has. That doesn't mean she doesn't - deep down - want to jump your bones. She probably keeps you around as a friend for the "fantasy sex" value. Even good memories need the occasional refreshing.
Yamaha Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 But generally unless they feel/believe I'm sexually attracted to them, for the most part they keep their distance or have no interest in talking to me. to me that isn't a friend, that's an acquaintance. I agree. Women may not have any attraction to their male friend but they definitely like the fact that he is attracted to them. This is why they give the guy the conciliation prize of male friend because they like the fact that he has attraction for them. As long as he knows his place she will continue the friendship. Maybe in your experience and some others but its not the same for everyone, so don't assume that we are all the same. Thats just your experience. Why do you have such a problem with men liking their female friends, Riddler? You seem to take offense that many males, at some point, liked their female friend. Do you think so little of your female friend that you would never see her in a sexual way? It is not shameful to like your friend. It is not like incest or something.
Pyro Posted July 5, 2007 Posted July 5, 2007 Why do you have such a problem with men liking their female friends, Riddler? You seem to take offense that many males, at some point, liked their female friend. Do you think so little of your female friend that you would never see her in a sexual way? It is not shameful to like your friend. It is not like incest or something. I have no problem with that, but it sure as heck is annoying when guys say that being friends with a female is not possible just because it is not possible for them. The bolded part makes no sense. Sure it wouldn't be shameful but why go through all that work and torture yourself by pretending to be a friend to the girl when all that you are doing is trying to get in her pants? Isn't that stressful?
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