Do you have sexual desire for other people while in a relationship?

[morelaugh]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

 

I mean, nudie magazines, porn, nudie bars – isn’t that all just an outlet for sexual attraction to other people.

 

As silly as it sounds when you actually say it, but the best way to sell something is still a picture of a half-dressed woman (or better still - women).

[doiask42much]

Normal and inevitable. Duh.

 

So you guys get porn and nudie bars, but what outlet do we women have for that?

[Cobra_X30]

LOL..... Romance Novels

 

It happens but porn and nudie bars are not acceptable.

[morelaugh]

So you guys get porn and nudie bars, but...

I’m a girl.

I'm just looking for people's opinions.

 

... what outlet do we women have for that?

This is a really good question!

I'll try to think about it, but if anyone has the answer - please, let us know!

[Enema]

Very normal and there's nothing wrong with it.

 

How you express it though (be it porn or nudie bars) should be something you and your partner are ok with.

 

If she doesn't want you to look at porn... she needs to find a man that will submit to that sort of control.

[morelaugh]

LOL..... Romance Novels

Does anyone really read them? I wouldn’t even know where to buy them – unlike porn mags which you can’t miss.

It happens but porn and nudie bars are not acceptable.

I guess my question was more :

is ti normal to have such desires?

Not : is it acceptable to act upon them?

[rainfall]

I know almost everyone here doesn't agree with me but I don't think its normal. I think it is what happens when you are unhappy in your current relationship so you use porn/sc to look at what you wish you had.

I personally have no desire to be with anyone but my bf sexually and I have never seen that as weird.

[morelaugh]

If she doesn't want you to look at porn... she needs to find a man that will submit to that sort of control.

Why? Because porn is the rock in man’s life that no real-life loving, caring gf can shake?

I think you just gave me an automatic response without even thinking about it.

BTW, as I said, I’m a girl. (And I'm not attempting to control anyone.)

[BlueEyedGirl]

I don't have an issue with porn at all. But I will disagree with most and say that my BF fantsaizing about real life people would make me uncomfortable. A random fleeting thought is fine, but continiously thinking sexual thoughts about one person he comes in contact with (either work or friends etc) would make me , healthy or not.

[doiask42much]

I think for men it's a given. They're hardwired to spread their seed and it's hard, but possible, to control those urges. Some poster said on another thread that women have 1/20 of the testosterone men do (dunno if that number is correct), so one might assume they are less frequently attracted to other men by a similar ratio, but I'm sure it varies from woman to woman. Some have a high sex drive, others do not. And some men are less horny than others.

 

I think a lot of other factors come into play as well: self-esteem, narcissism, etc. Those who need to be sexually validated by others are going to have a wandering eye, much more so than those who don't. And if you're not looking around to see who's hot and who's not, then you're less likely to be attracted to/thinking about people who aren't your SO. A lot of the times I'm oblivious and not even noticing who's around me, whereas I have gfs who are constantly scanning and going, ooh, look at that guy! and I'm like, what guy? I figure that's a good thing though. Better to be happy with what you've got than pine for things you can't have. Or try to have things you shouldn't and muck everything up!

[Enema]

Why? Because porn is the rock in man’s life that no real-life loving, caring gf can shake?

 

No. Their different ideas on whether it's ok to use porn will cause problems further down the track if she tries to change him.

 

As this forum shows, porn usage is a big issue that I think both people in the relationship need to be on the same page about or it simply won't work.

 

People rarely change, so to stay in a relationship expecting that you could force your partner to is usually a waste of time.

 

 

Also, let's be honest... porn usage is for masturbation. If you tell him to give it up, you're relegating him to masturbating with just his imagination.

 

You may as well tell him to masturbate with salad tongs instead of his hand.

[mental_traveller]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

 

I mean, nudie magazines, porn, nudie bars – isn’t that all just an outlet for sexual attraction to other people.

 

As silly as it sounds when you actually say it, but the best way to sell something is still a picture of a half-dressed woman (or better still - women).

 

Do you mean fantasizing about others? Or do you mean having a real desire to actually have sex with them? I do the former but not the latter.

[Lizzie60]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

 

I think it is normal and inevitable... and those who say they never do... are plain LIARS... We all do at some point... if we act on them...that's another story...

 

I would think that if someone never ever do...then that's NOT normal.

[reservoirdog1]

I'm in a relationship, and I get turned on by porn and other things. However -- and accept this or call BS on it -- when I look at porn I get turned on by the act, not by the female participant(s). Makes me think "wow, I can't wait to do that with my GF again!"

 

[rainfall]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

 

I think it is normal and inevitable... and those who say they never do... are plain LIARS... We all do at some point... if we act on them...that's another story...

 

I would think that if someone never ever do...then that's NOT normal.

 

 

 

I for one do not have sexual desire for anyone besides my bf. I am not lying when I say that. I am just 100% happy in my relationship and have NO NEED to think of outside sources in order to get turned on.

I think it might not be "normal" but only because alot of people aren't really that happy in their relationship. (lack of sex, partner neglects their needs, or their partner has let themself go)

[morelaugh]

I'm in a relationship, and I get turned on by porn and other things. However -- and accept this or call BS on it -- when I look at porn I get turned on by the act, not by the female participant(s). Makes me think "wow, I can't wait to do that with my GF again!"

Seriously?

 

What if the female participant was ugly and unattractive?

Would that still turn you on (assuming the actual 'act' is the same)?

[doiask42much]

Plenty of people can be turned on by ugly people in porn. MOST of the people are ugly to me, especially the men. Most of the time, I'm just waiting for the closeup shot and am not interested in their faces or mangled boob jobs. This sounds very plausible and reasonable to me.

 

If these women were that attractive, they'd be modeling or acting bimbo parts in real movies, not getting gangbanged in a motel 6. Come on now.

[morelaugh]

Plenty of people can be turned on by ugly people in porn. MOST of the people are ugly to me, especially the men. Most of the time, I'm just waiting for the closeup shot and am not interested in their faces or mangled boob jobs. This sounds very plausible and reasonable to me.

 

If these women were that attractive, they'd be modeling or acting bimbo parts in real movies, not getting gangbanged in a motel 6. Come on now.

Maybe…

 

But from where I’m standing, most porn actresses are better looking, younger and firmer than an average 45 yo woman.

 

Men in porn, on the other hand, are mostly ugly.

Which is understandable – porn is mostly made for guys, why would they want competition? I bet most of the times, guys don’t even care how men in porn look.

[norajane]

I bet most of the times, guys don’t even care how men in porn look.

 

Then why are their dicks always so big?

[morelaugh]

Then why are their dicks always so big?

That's true!

Really, why??

[halfarock]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

I think so, to some extent, and quite often. For me it’s more like sexual attraction, but I’m content to just flirt.

 

I mean, nudie magazines, porn, nudie bars – isn’t that all just an outlet for sexual attraction to other people.

 

As silly as it sounds when you actually say it, but the best way to sell something is still a picture of a half-dressed woman (or better still - women).

I’m more into real people, it’s kind of hard to flirt with a picture.

[lonelybird]

I'm in a relationship, and I get turned on by porn and other things. However -- and accept this or call BS on it -- when I look at porn I get turned on by the act, not by the female participant(s). Makes me think "wow, I can't wait to do that with my GF again!"

 

your gf don't despise you for that secretly?

[Krytellan]

Do you guys think that sexual desire of other people (people other than your SO) is normal? Inevitable?

 

Yes, and most likely.

[McFadden]

I think its normal for some people (maybe most) and does not mean that they are unhappy in thier relationship. If you don't, good for you but speak for yourselves as far as other people being unhappy.

 

About men and porn can't you ever masturbate without looking at something and just picture it in your head, isn't it annoying? I mean if youre going to masturbate to have to go turn on the computer and find porn to look at, by the time I bothered to do that I'de probably be over the whole thing.

[Rooster_DAR]

I for one do not have sexual desire for anyone besides my bf. I am not lying when I say that. I am just 100% happy in my relationship and have NO NEED to think of outside sources in order to get turned on.

I think it might not be "normal" but only because alot of people aren't really that happy in their relationship. (lack of sex, partner neglects their needs, or their partner has let themself go)

 

You don't right now, just give it some time. It's natural to be attracted to someone else, after all humans are not monogamous creatures. People who are madly in love will more than likely feel like you do, but in time love has it's ups and downs and you will more than likely find yourself attracted to somebody else at some point in your relationship. I'm sure there are a few people out there that are more resistant to this natural behavior, but they are rare. Being attracted to someone else is not a bad thing necessarily, but acting on this emotion can be a dangerous thing to the relationship. Those who understand there natural human behaviors, can learn how to maneuver around obstacles such as these and keep their relationship in check. Cheers!