Bella_xx Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 hi all I posted my story in breaks and breaking up, but I think second chances might help me too... I'm stuck, I don't know whether there's any hope, but he came back once before, maybe it can happen again. The full story can be found at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t123899/ In short, we broke up about two months ago, I tried for a bit and then stopped contact for about 2-3 weeks. He got back in touch (he was the 'dumper') and we gradually increased how often we spoke. I saw him for the first time on friday night, he told me he'd missed me, loved me, wanted me in his life, wanted to make it work etc. My mum doesn't approve of him after our break up, so she made it clear she wasnt happy he was there. He left, and while things between the two of us were ok, I know he had his doubts again (he's very fear motivated, and withdraws completely because of his doubts, only really thinking about them later). Anyway, we spoke briefly saturday, he said he didn't know if it would work. We agreed to talk the nextday. LAter on saturday night I got a drunk call from him about coming to meet him in the city that turned a bit nasty. Didn't hear from him the next two days really. Monday night I gave him an ultimatum, to contact me that night or forget it, and then later after hearing something from a friend, wrongly accused him of being with another girl saturday night (something he would NEVER do). He wrote to me the next day saying we'd talk tomorrow. I was too mad, and let him know in no uncertain terms how mad I was. It sparked a NASTY "text-fight", ending in him telling me not only to never contact him again, but that he was deleting my number as well. I cooled off later, and attempted to call, before sending an apology via sms. His response was scathing (fair enough!). I also tried the next night to a similar response, before deciding to go back to strict NC and leave him alone. I'm totally shattered. I really thought we would get through all of this and work it out. I can't contact him, I'll only push him further away, but I'm so full of regret, and I just can't believe we had begun to get past this only to lose it all over agian less than two days after seeing him again. Will I ever hear from him again?? I'm moving on, but part of me is desperate to hear from him. Is it just a matter of him being angry and needing to cool off, or is this gone for good this time around? Argh. Any advice/support would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bella_xx Posted July 6, 2007 Author Share Posted July 6, 2007 Does anyone out there at all have any thoughts/suggestions/advice/etc?! Link to post Share on other sites
JcB228 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Don't do this to yourself....move on. It's not up to you to figure out what he wants. If he does comeback, it'll be on your terms. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bella_xx Posted July 7, 2007 Author Share Posted July 7, 2007 I know, I'm just finding it hard to understand why he would work up the courage to come back, knowing full well after the way he left the first time, that I was likely to kick hiss ass right back to the curb (I didn't at first... but seems like I have now! lol) and then after one incident, cut me out worse than ever. I know he's protecting himself, but I just can't believe that after trying for months to put us behind him, he clearly couldnt, came back, and then got scared> Rather than staying to work it out he's putting us both through the same break up pain again. I guess I just feel like my chapter with him isn't finished yet.. or maybe it's just hope. I'm moving on, going out, meeting new people - obviously nothing serious. I'm putting us behind me. IF he comes back, then he has to prove he's changed. I just wish I knew if he regrets this latest turn of event, if I'll hear from him again, if he misses 'us'. Hmph. Life goes on, and so does my NC. Day three and counting. Link to post Share on other sites
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