thebear08 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Me: Let me start off by explaining my opinion on girls. I'm very picky with women probably because I'm never around ones that i can relate to. I'm a thinker, friends always tell me i think too much about things. I enjoy thinking, probably because i am a very artistic person and i have strong opinions on a lot of subjects. I view a lot of girls as bitches, you know, the ones who wear the sunglasses on their head at night, watches mtv real world and road rules, always texting on their phone, feel that getting drunk makes them look cool and use being drunk as an excuse to be very slutty. I don't like bitches because i think they are a tool, now I'm no hippy, goth, or emo but i am a very weird person. I have strong group of select friends who i hang out with a lot, i also view my self as a very funny person and it doesn't take much for me to make a person laugh their pants off. The Girl: Well I'm 17 years old and this is the second girl i have ever truly liked. The first girl was possibly perfect for me but i ****ed that up and thats not my problem at the moment, but the second girl is a girl who i should never have liked. She is a kind of a girl i described above, a "bitch". She is a year younger than me, and she gets caught drinking all the time which really bugs me. Although I drink also, i do it controlled and I'm not a retard about it. I think a lot of the time she does it to get attention. Although she sounds bad i feel that she does it to fit in, and if i can show her she doesn't need to then she will stop. The Problem: It all started in ceramics class this year, me and another art buddy got stuck in this class over taking art 3 again because our schedule people suck. Well we got a lot of compliments from people cause we were quite good (please ignore the bragging, its just part of the story). I never really talked to this girl till i realized she was friends with one of my good friends that is a girl. So it started casual, and after a while she started to do this push thing where she would push me playfully and i would either push her back or make a joke. (she is very easy to make laugh btw too). After a while I kinda noticed i had a crush on her and i thought stuff was going good for a while. First she got my number some how and texted me. Second she would always say things like, "call me later, k?" and "stay up and text me some more I'm bored". Maybe I'm just dumb but i saw that as a sign that she liked me. Second thoughts came about when she would go to these parties and i would talk to her later about the party and she would tell me about all these guys she made out with. So i thought to my self wtf? but just kind of ignored it. I guess after a while she realized i liked her and asked on of my friends if i like her. He told her yes, but she told him she only wanted to be "good friends" with me. I would often ask myself if she was even worth it, but then i would think of the fact that i cant hardly stand any other girls. The thing that annoys me is when i finally like a girl she doesn't like me back, other girls like me but i either their really awkward about it or i just don't find them attractive. I decided to try and play hard to get with her, but she new something was different. i didn't text her as much and often my mood towards her was a bit more sour than usually. She knows that i don't want to be just friends, and i dunno how to act. Recently my friend was talking to her about all the people she could see her dating. She said one of those people could be me. he asked her why if she didn't like me, and she didn't know why. She also said to another friend something about maybe dating me later but not now. Also earlier tonight i was sitting next to her and she pinched me and faced towards me just kinda not doing much but still like on her side facing me kinda talking. friend says she was flirting with me but i don't what to think. Should i go along with this ****? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 She is a kind of a girl i described above, a "bitch". If this is how you view her then why do you want to date her? It is because you find her sexually attractive and you want to f*ck her. I would stay away from her as she sees you as to nice for her and she wants to just date and have fun. You are to serious. Keep her just a casual thing and find someone that fits your personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 6, 2007 Author Share Posted July 6, 2007 well at least your honest, but i honestly don't know why i like her, and it annoys me that i do like her cause she goes against a lot of my values. Maybe its because i see another person in her that is scarred to come out or something, i dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Ah to be 17 again. (I'm 37) Seriously, what do you have to lose by asking her out...? You only get one life. If she declines, there you have your answer and you can move on and get it out of your system. If she accepts, then maybe you guys can give it a whirl and see where it takes you. For her, life is all about fun - you can show her that sometimes it's good to be serious too. For you - life is serious and she can show you how to have a different kind of fun. Let your hair down and at least see what's out there with her. Stranger things have happened than two completely opposite people being attracted to each other. Oh also, what she said to your friend about her only wanting to be 'good friends' with you... ya, right. She isn't going to tell him that she likes you too! That's way uncool. I wish I was 17 again. You just brightened my day incredibly. I loved being 17. Good luck young man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 can a girl say that she doesn't like you now, but in the future maybe she might like you, or is that just bs? Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Maybe its because i see another person in her that is scarred to come out or something, i dunno. Awww, man, you see who you would like her to be, there is a VERY big difference. Help yourself to see her for who she is and to ACCEPT that. You can't turn people into something they are not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 ok, heres what she says i quote "hah ok so basically i think i might like you as more than a friend and ive heard you might feel the same but the only thing isi is that i don't want anything to ruin our friendship because i really like hanging out with you guys and i would never want anything to mess that up and im really confused cause sometimes i have feelings for you and sometimes i feel like i have feelings for paul (and please don't get mad at that) but im really confused right now and it might be better if for right now we just stay friends and im not saying it cant change in the future but i just wanted to tell you how i feel for right now so i don't lead you on or hurt you or anything" so... Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 If you stay her friend you will never move to the dating level with her. She will keep you as a friend. If you want to spend the time with her then you need to back away and let her miss you ( and date other girls and let her know about them ) if you expect to get with her. She doesn't know if she likes you enough so you need to let her think she might lose you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 i must say, that is an amazing idea, but i'm scared of driving her away. and i'm also scared that if i do make her miss me she will just assume i don't like her anymore and just move on to my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 i must say, that is an amazing idea, but I'm scared of driving her away. and I'm also scared that if i do make her miss me she will just assume i don't like her anymore and just move on to my friend. Then you will just become her friend. She doesn't have enough interest in you to want to move it to the next level and if you are afraid of losing her then she wins and you lose. You need to understand women and that means you want them to pursue you. Women pick the men they want to pursue. You need to make her want to pursue you and you do that by following my advice. Do you really just want to be her friend and she her hook up with Paul? More than likely she will not date you or Paul. If she is indecisive then neither one of you have her interest. You don't quit talking to her all together, you just let her know you have a life outside of her. It will make her look at you differently and she will wonder if you might be the kind of guy she desires. You still flirt with her but you don't sit there all dopey eyed and let her know you are there if she/when is ready. Let her chase you some. Give it a try and you just might become more tham a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 ok, ill listen, but i need like a plan, like normally i text her when i wake up and she texts me while i work, and she will usually either call me or text me all day and i will text back. (texting is so gay i know) but anyway, she usually will call me and ask me to do something fallowed by invite paul and other people. i have one of her friends on my side that can ask her stuff but its more in the open now that she said all that stuff above. should i text her less? not hang out with her as much? like hang out with other girls that aren't her and just not invite her? should i invite her but pay no attention to her? should i not answer some of her questions? should i hit on another girl? what all should i do? appreciate the help a lot Yamaha, and i still like other peoples input too Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 should i text her less? Yes. Don't be so available and tell her your busy doing this or that and will catch up with her later. not hang out with her as much? You can hang with her some but don't just be with her and let her see you flirting with other girls. like hang out with other girls that aren't her and just not invite her? No, don't leave her totally out, just don't put all of your attention on her. Flirt with her some so she knows you haven't forgotten her. I would even tell her since she just wants to be friends you are going to start looking for other girls to date. This usually upsets them as they want your attention. There is no fool proof way of getting her interest but if you want a chance of becoming more than friends you need to make her see you in a different way ( as someone she would want to date ). Just be yourself but don't focus all of your attention on her and have fun. Don't be afraid of losing her as there are many other girls besides her. She doesn't mind telling you about her interest in Paul and your not leaving and walking away so you do the same thing as her. She thinks you will just hang around and wait on her because you want her so much so let her know your interested but she is not the only girl and see if it sparks her interest. QUOTE] Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 12, 2007 Author Share Posted July 12, 2007 she is leaving for an overnight volleyball camp for 3 days on Tuesday, and i know she will be bored there, should i try and make Monday memorable for her so she will want to do it again really bad? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 12, 2007 Author Share Posted July 12, 2007 and how do i know when she is starting to miss me? Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 If she starts missing you she will contact you. If she doesn't pursue you then it means she's not into you and you need to move on. It will be hard to be friends with her so I wouldn't. I've had so many crushes that it tells me that there will always be someone new waiting for you to discover. Everytime you do, you'll feel like she is it and there can't possibly be anyone else for you. The best thing you can do if she rejects you is to do no contact to try to put her out of your mind. Over time you'll forget about her and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 what do you mean by contact me, she talks to me all the time Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 The only way she can start missing you is if you're unavailable either thru phone and/or in person. If she talks to you all the time then you need to distance yourself from her by not talking to her as much. Honestly, if she doesn't love you then you need to find someone who does and spend time and energy on them and not on this girl because it's unfair to you. She's getting all your attention and you're getting nothing, even hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 i think the end result to this hole fiasco, is that the only possibility of this girl ever liking me is if i find another girl to like, so in reality i wont ever have the girl when i want but I'm ok with it cause honestly it shouldn't be that hard and i decided she isn't worth it. but for what ever reason this last post ever changes ill be sure to right back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 Ok, god this is weird, but what happened is she got drunk at my house, and she was all over me, but i didn't want to do anything with her cause i didn't want to be another guy she makes out with while she is drunk, so i turn away. and my other friend is texting me trying to tell me what to do... and she grabs my phone from me, and reads the texts. she gets pissed, and wants to go home, i explain everything to her while my friend tells her that i want to find another girl. but yeah, so she gets angry at that and i tell her more stuff, and she says "im tired of this ****, wanna just give it a shot". i say hell ****ing yes, and ask her if she really wants it and she says yes again, and we agree to start off slow. also we made it official that were going out. so, i dunno what my feelings are on this, but anyone else ever been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 She knows you want her and she is willing to give it to you. The problem is that I think you want more than just sex and she will hurt you as her interest is just having fun. You need to accept her invitation and have fun and stop seeing her as a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
xosomegrlxo Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 can a girl say that she doesn't like you now, but in the future maybe she might like you, or is that just bs? to me, that is bs.....because I have said that to a guy before..only because I was too scared to hurt his feelings, but then again if that is the case...she shouldn`t do that..`cause it`s only causing you to get your hopes up Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted July 28, 2007 Author Share Posted July 28, 2007 ah god, i dunno, i might be getting into something bad, but yeah i got a new problem. For some reason she never wants me to hold her hand or like hold her in general in public, but when its just us at my house she is all for it. is it me trying to hard or whats wrong with this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thebear08 Posted August 7, 2007 Author Share Posted August 7, 2007 well, about a month of dating and we are back to square one, so in the end after we broke up, i learned don't go out with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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