J-Lo Butt

[StayClose]

I was having lunch with some co-workers yesterday and one woman said she didn't like to wear shorts because she was uncomfortable with the "J-Lo thing" she had going in her hips & butt.

 

The thing is... I think her hips & butt are FABULOUS! She stands 5'2" and is very petite. She's practiced yoga for many years, has very little body fat and when she hangs a jacket in her cubical it looks like something made for a little girl. In fact, if it wasn't for her wonderfully round butt & womanly hips, she'd have the body of a 12 year-old girl.

 

Unfortunately, it just isn't kosher for a married man to tell a female coworker that she has a fantastic hips & butt. I thought Jennifer Lopez was consider hot. Why would a woman be unhappy having what some would call a "J-Lo" butt?

[directx]

Who the heck knows!

I LOVE j-lo butt!

 

Women models drain everything sexy about a woman. More curves, the better

[doiask42much]

Because on a five foot two frame it looks disproportionate? A lot of people also refer to this as "ghetto booty," and some people just don't want a "ghetto" look, especially if they are going to wear couture or designer stuff. It just doesn't hang right if you have a lot of junk in your trunk. I guess the common conception is that guys who are attracted to that are not the classy type. (I'm not saying it's true, just what I have seen/heard.) I am about that size and I wouldn't want a JLo butt either. I do not consider that woman attractive in appearance or demeanor. I'm sure you are right and her butt is lovely; I'm just expressing what she might be thinking. Women are often hypercritical of themselves when men are more than happy with what they see. If she is the type who does yoga, well, most of them have that sort of new age hippie vibe, vegetarian/vegan, etc. which doesn't lend itself to having a big "red beans and rice didn't miss her" ass. Sorry, I just HAD to quote Sir Mix-a-Lot.

[JamesM]

It is all about proportion. The overall look can be beautiful, but sometimes we as individuals become obsessed with one part, and then we think we are too big or too small.

 

Personally, I like JLo and her butt. BTW, this is also called a bubble butt, I think.

 

How can you tell a female you like it? "As a married man who is only giving a compliment with no ulterior motive, I have to say I think you look great. I don't see where your butt looks big." Usually I find women can accept and want compliments from men...as long as they can feel that it is a genuine compliment...not an attempt to "get them in bed." Men and women need to learn that appreciating a woman's beauty does not mean that he is thinking of sex.

 

Did you notice that women tend to have no problem making simple compliments to each other and to men? Why is it that men supposedly only make compliments to women when they "want something," and to men if they are gay?

[doiask42much]

I really don't feel it's appropriate to comment on your coworker's anatomy unless you two are really close. I'd say leave it alone. She thinks a certain way about her butt and one comment from a coworker isn't going to change that, sadly.

[doiask42much]

Personally, I like JLo and her butt. BTW, this is also called a bubble butt, I think.

 

 

Her as a person? She's infamous for being rude to the help, being terribly demanding (her rider says she has to have lilies in every room, everything in the room white, 500-count egyptian cotton, and the list goes on and on), and she's also really into fur. Not that I'm any kind of animal lover or anything or vegetarian, but I do think fur is unnecessary and cruel, but she uses it liberally throughout her fashion line. She is a homewrecker twice over and totally full of herself. Jenny from the block, indeed. And she can't sing for sh*t.

[StayClose]

Thanks for the comments. Although she does do yoga, she's not a vegitarian. Her diet leans toward healthy food, but it does contain meat. Actually my assumption was that the shape of her butt is partly from yoga poses that work the posterior & hip muscles.

 

How can you tell a female you like it? "As a married man who is only giving a compliment with no ulterior motive, I have to say I think you look great. I don't see where your butt looks big." Usually I find women can accept and want compliments from men...as long as they can feel that it is a genuine compliment...not an attempt to "get them in bed." Men and women need to learn that appreciating a woman's beauty does not mean that he is thinking of sex.

 

Did you notice that women tend to have no problem making simple compliments to each other and to men? Why is it that men supposedly only make compliments to women when they "want something," and to men if they are gay?

 

I wouldn't tell her I don't see where your butt looks big. It is bigger than most women of her height who are as thin as she is in the waist and other areas. That would be like telling a very thin woman with C-cups "I don't see where your boobs look big." An honest compliment would be "The aesthics of the shape of your hips & butt are much better than that of the average woman."

 

If I was really impressed with an outfit she wore, or her hair on a particular day, I might complinent her on that. But we're talking about an area of the body associated with sex, and as we know, the different between a compliment and sexual harassment can simply be the way a woman chooses to react to it.

[JamesM]

Thanks for the comments. Although she does do yoga, she's not a vegitarian. Her diet leans toward healthy food, but it does contain meat. Actually my assumption was that the shape of her butt is partly from yoga poses that work the posterior & hip muscles.

 

 

 

I wouldn't tell her I don't see where your butt looks big. It is bigger than most women of her height who are as thin as she is in the waist and other areas. That would be like telling a very thin woman with C-cups "I don't see where your boobs look big." An honest compliment would be "The aesthics of the shape of your hips & butt are much better than that of the average woman."

 

If I was really impressed with an outfit she wore, or her hair on a particular day, I might complinent her on that. But we're talking about an area of the body associated with sex, and as we know, the different between a compliment and sexual harassment can simply be the way a woman chooses to react to it.

 

"Big" is relevant. That is why I would say it. But I see your point. Since I prefer an average to larger size butt, then "average" for me may be big for her. Yet when a woman or man makes a comment about his or her body or personality or job performance, then she or he has introduced this topic for discussion.

 

Some women may actually take compliments on clothing and hair as a sexual come-on. And many women I worked with felt a compliment is just that and no more. But then these women knew my wife and knew where I was coming from.

 

Last I knew the butt is not (normally) used for sex. It is used to excrete waste.

 

But yes, any compliment regarding a woman's body, hair, or even clothing can be interpreted by a woman or a man as sexual harassment. So, one does have to be careful to whom you give a genuine compliment.

[doiask42much]

I wouldn't tell her I don't see where your butt looks big. It is bigger than most women of her height who are as thin as she is in the waist and other areas. That would be like telling a very thin woman with C-cups "I don't see where your boobs look big." An honest compliment would be "The aesthics of the shape of your hips & butt are much better than that of the average woman."

 

If I was really impressed with an outfit she wore, or her hair on a particular day, I might complinent her on that. But we're talking about an area of the body associated with sex, and as we know, the different between a compliment and sexual harassment can simply be the way a woman chooses to react to it.

 

Not to be rude, but from what you are describing, it does sound a bit big. Heh. Not that that's a bad thing, as obviously many men like this look. But she has decided she doesn't, and that's her prerogative. I don't like being told that what I think about my own body is incorrect. I honestly don't think she's fishing for compliments; this is how she feels.

 

Most of the people in my yoga classes don't have JLo butts. I wasn't saying she's necessarily a vegetarian, more just that she leans toward a healthy lifestyle, and having a big ass is usually an indicator of excess fat, though I suppose it could be muscle or genetics. She probably measures herself against those who share her lifestyle, not those with big butts.

 

I guess my next question is, why are you spending so much time looking at/thinking about this woman's ass? Kind of sucky, given that you're married.

[doiask42much]

"Big" is relevant. That is why I would say it. But I see your point. Since I prefer an average to larger size butt, then "average" for me may be big for her. Yet when a woman or man makes a comment about his or her body or personality or job performance, then she or he has introduced this topic for discussion.

 

He could have commented on it at the time, MAYBE, and only then maybe. Commenting on it after the fact shows he's been thinking about it since then, which is just plain creepy.

[doiask42much]

Did you notice that women tend to have no problem making simple compliments to each other and to men? Why is it that men supposedly only make compliments to women when they "want something," and to men if they are gay?

 

Women are hardwired to be nurturing, and verbal affirmation is one of the ways we do that. We exchange compliments with other women as a way of bonding. Women need positive feedback; men see it as "no news is good news," whereas women think something is wrong if they don't hear otherwise, generally speaking.

 

Men are less verbal and perhaps less in need of affirmation so they don't routinely do this. I think part of this is the way they are socialized, to be tough and independent, and part of it is biological (women's brains are more highly developed in the area that controls language). So when they DO pay compliments, especially about small things (men tend to not notice details the way women do), it is seen as a departure from the norm. Generally speaking, men are pretty utilitarian, I find, and they rarely do things "just because." They generally like there to be a point to everything and aren't into mucking about, like the way they approach shopping, for example. Get in, get what they need, get out. No dithering. Of course I'm speaking in broad generalities here and some women are more "guylike" and some guys are more "girl-like."

[JamesM]

Of course I'm speaking in broad generalities here and some women are more "guylike" and some guys are more "girl-like."

 

Hmmm.. off topic....this goes along with the thing that real men grill , but they usually don't cook. And real men grow vegetable gardens but never flower gardens. Oh, and real men have pit bulls but not chihuahuas.

 

So real men cannot make compliments without being interpreted as "wanting something?" I think this comes down to...if it is normal for that man to make a compliment, then it is okay. If Stayclose made a compliment to his fellow worker as was his normal pattern, then she would not probably have taken it as sexual harassment.

[Yamaha]

Many women feel self conscious about having something larger than normal ( butt, boobs ) and feel they are abnormal or fat. If they are small otherwise it just pronounces this attitude. I wouldn't comment on her "nice butt" as she probably wouldn't appreciate the compliment.

 

I like a nice round butt on a women. It is one of the first things I notice as I hate the look of a flat ass. It is becoming much more accepted today but many women still feel uncomfortable and would prefer a normal sized butt.

[redfathom]

I am a women and I have a ghetto booty, bubble butt, ect. It can be very frustrating. I am 5'4" and a size 6/4, I say that because my waist is a four but my butt requires a 6. I have to be very careful about jeans when I bend down, ect. Forget about the new low cut style.

 

If I can make a suggestion, I have had many men tell me they like my butt, it is the nicest they have seen, ect. Personally I find it a little offensive and it makes me more self conscience, mainly because I am married and also very modest. I would have some guys I work with tell me I was (sorry if this offends anyone) part black because of my booty (I am white).

 

So Stayclose, I think you are making a good suggestion by not mentioning it.

[doiask42much]

Hmmm.. off topic....this goes along with the thing that real men grill , but they usually don't cook. And real men grow vegetable gardens but never flower gardens. Oh, and real men have pit bulls but not chihuahuas.

 

So real men cannot make compliments without being interpreted as "wanting something?" I think this comes down to...if it is normal for that man to make a compliment, then it is okay. If Stayclose made a compliment to his fellow worker as was his normal pattern, then she would not probably have taken it as sexual harassment.

 

You went off topic first on the issue of why can't men pay compliments.

 

I did say earlier, many posts ago, that it would be ok if they were really close (they'd be likely to have exchanged compliments before) but not otherwise.

 

Anyway...why is he so interested in this woman's butt? Or her appearance at all?

[doiask42much]

Also, you are assuming that people can tell the difference between a real man and a fake (?) man, or one that has good intentions and one that has ulterior motives.

 

Years of being hit on by sleazebags have taught women to be leery. You're not looking at it from our point of view. Most women start off by saying, Oh, he's just being friendly, then they find out they couldn't be more wrong. Rinse, repeat about 50 times, then you might understand why women are so skittish.

[Yamaha]

Anyway...why is he so interested in this woman's butt? Or her appearance at all?

 

Good question. I would venture to say he finds her sexually attractive and wants her to know he (men) appreciate her butt. He could be trying to boast her self esteem but if they were close he would have already told her. He is Leary about telling her so he should just keep his interest to himself.

[StayClose]

Two things...

 

1) Like everyone else (including women), I have ideas about the most aesthetically pleasing shapes of body parts on the opposite sex.

 

2) Among the Many Things That Fascinated Me are how cultures tells us what our bodies as supposed to look like desspite the fact that people come in all shapes & sizes, and how many women's standards of what makes them attractive differs from what many men find attractive in women.

 

Writing this thread and reading the responses has involved about 10 times more thought about this woman's butt that I ever gave it before. It is not my life's passion. Until she made that comment yesterday, it was only the occasional "My, she looks good in those pants." as she walked away.

[doiask42much]

Two things...

 

1) Like everyone else (including women), I have ideas about the most aesthetically pleasing shapes of body parts on the opposite sex.

 

2) Among the Many Things That Fascinated Me are how cultures tells us what our bodies as supposed to look like desspite the fact that people come in all shapes & sizes, and how many women's standards of what makes them attractive differs from what many men find attractive in women.

 

Rightly or wrongly, I think women strive to emulate celebrities and assume these women are ideal because they essentially make their living from their looks and have millions of adoring fans of both genders. And a lot of men have no idea what looks good (look at the way a lot of them can't dress themselves!), so I don't really trust a man to tell me what looks good unless he is exceedingly handsome and well groomed. I know what I want my body to look like. It sounds like your coworker does too. Your point of view one way or the other is not going to have any impact, unless you're someone she actually likes "that way," which I would hope is not the case.

 

Again, rightly or wrongly, it's assumed that a classy guy wants a classy-looking girl, and the "ghetto booty" has traditionally not been seen as classy. Maybe that will change in time. I think what it mostly boils down to is she wants to be porportionate for her height and health/fitness level and is somewhat self-conscious that she isn't, or doesn't feel she is, which, from your earlier comments, appears to be the case. Not that it's not attractive to many men, just it's not what she wants.

 

Sometimes, *gasp* it's really not about you men, you know.

[doiask42much]

Another thing: her ass might look ok now, but bear in mind that they tend to grow over time. She may feel she is at "critical mass" but be concerned that ten years from now, she will be downright unhappy with it and be unable to do anything about it by then.

[JamesM]

Anyway...why is he so interested in this woman's butt? Or her appearance at all?

 

 

I was having lunch with some co-workers yesterday and one woman said she didn't like to wear shorts because she was uncomfortable with the "J-Lo thing" she had going in her hips & butt.

 

 

I think it came up as a topic of conversation.

 

You went off topic first on the issue of why can't men pay compliments.

 

I know...I was saying that I was going off topic. I was not pointing the finger at anyone else.

 

The whole point that I have tried to make is that when a man compliments a woman...too often it is considered sexual in nature. When a woman compliments a man or woman, then it is considered just that..a compliment.

 

If I can make a suggestion, I have had many men tell me they like my butt, it is the nicest they have seen, ect. Personally I find it a little offensive and it makes me more self conscience, mainly because I am married and also very modest. I would have some guys I work with tell me I was (sorry if this offends anyone) part black because of my booty (I am white).

 

I agree with what you are saying, but I am not sure that this is the situation here. StayClose only considered giving her a compliment...or rather an opinion because he disagreed with her analysis of herself. I did not read that he was making comments such as you mentioned...which I think DO border on the offensive for any woman.

[doiask42much]

I know...I was saying that I was going off topic. I was not pointing the finger at anyone else.

 

The whole point that I have tried to make is that when a man compliments a woman...too often it is considered sexual in nature. When a woman compliments a man or woman, then it is considered just that..a compliment.

 

 

Oh, sorry for jumping to conclusions.

 

I guess it's more the power dynamic thing, a fact of nature. A woman can't really be a threat to a man, for obvious reasons. A man can be one to a woman, however, so he does have to be careful what he says, especially in the workplace. Men and women are never going to be equal because they're just so different. To expect otherwise is a bit...naive?

[JamesM]

Oh, sorry for jumping to conclusions.

 

I guess it's more the power dynamic thing, a fact of nature. A woman can't really be a threat to a man, for obvious reasons. A man can be one to a woman, however, so he does have to be careful what he says, especially in the workplace. Men and women are never going to be equal because they're just so different. To expect otherwise is a bit...naive?

 

That is okay.

 

I was at a tai kwan do (spelling?) class ran by a 23 yr old girl. Boy oh boy, I don't think anyone would doubt that she would be a threat to any man. Not only she had the power, but she also had the look..in her eyes. Her overall figure was slim, but she "oozed" power. And whenever a woman is a boss of a man, she does hold the upper hand.

 

So, no I guess there are many cases where a woman is more "threatening" to men that they get credit for.

[doiask42much]

These are the exceptions, not the rule. The average woman cannot fight off a man. And it's pretty hard to rape a man if he's not aroused, whether she's his boss or not.

[doiask42much]

Also, any male practitioner of tae kwon do at a comparable level could likely whoop her ass. Sorry, but that's just how it goes.