J-Lo Butt

[doiask42much]

Whenever one feature is much larger than average it doesn't look as good to my eye.

 

Agree. Whether you mean to or not, it does send some odd kind of message. Granted, I accept not everyone can control the size of every part of their body, but when it's wrapped in something metallic and with the fitting of sausage casing, I expect it to be firm and attractive. Those whose bodies are dressed in more humble garb I have absolutely nothing to say about.

[doiask42much]

Flat buttocks are hardly rare, lol.

 

I also said that a variety of beauty types may co-exist without any being a threat to the other.

 

I wasn't referring to the parts where you addressed the woman's psyche; I was referring to the parts of your posts where you described women of a certain body type as "ghetto," "unattractive" and not people who practiced a healthy lifestyle, which I thought was inaccurate and therefore important to address.

 

I was trying to guess at this woman's psyche in saying these things. I may have misguessed, of course. I feel I did add sufficiently disclaimers to almost everything I said, e.g., I'm not saying that's what I think, merely what I've seen/heard.

 

Bottom line is I feel it's none of the OP's business. She knows how she wants to look, and even if it's anorexic, it's none of his business. Nor mine or yours, for that matter. I just hate it when men assume women want to look a certain way for men. For some women that's true, but for a significant portion it's not.

 

I totally agree about different types of beauty. I hardly fit the buxom blond stereotype that so many have liked for so long. I am about as far from that as one could get. Maybe it's some backlash on a subconscious level against buxom women? But I do happen to like the way I look.

[doiask42much]

Also, flat buttocks are pretty rare, and I do look about. It's a strange sport for me, I guess. Then again, it would depend on our relative definitions of flat and rotund. For the record, I HATE flat asses. Something compact with a nice shape is what I like to see, given the choice. Flat, bleh. FAT, even more bleh. Again, it just depends on our relative definitions.

[doiask42much]

Bear in mind also that conservative estimates now put 2/3 of the country at overweight/obese.

[The Velvet Vixen]

I do think that in a country where obesity is almost epidemic, they are giving licence for some to run with it and feel that "curves are sexy"....

Obesity is unnatural, which is why you would never see an obese animal in nature, and why obesity didn't become a problem until after processed foods and junk food became common. Also, it leads to a variety of serious health problems. A fat or obese person and a person who is curvy are not the same thing. Most fat and especially not obese women do not actually have curves--at least not in the sense that we're using it here.

 

Not to say everyone with a JLo butt has a problem, but you should bear in mind that her trainers have her in the gym most days of the week, whereas most normal people are not this way. (She fights her own genetic predisposition every step of the way to remain a sex symbol and has even said so in the press.)

Of course Jennifer Lopez has a ton of trainers and works out regularly at a gym. Most celebrities, particularly celebrity women, do. Most women do have to work out harder than men do in order to maintain a healthy weight, because women naturally have a higher percentage of body fat than men do. I exercise regularly, not for the purpose of keeping my weight under control, since I've never had any difficulty in this regard due to my body type, but rather for the purpose of having the toned look that I prefer.

 

Proportion is a good rule of thumb regarding % body fat. If you're confident about your body fat percentage, a quick trip to the gym is all it takes. They zap you with one of those machines and you can till in 10 seconds whether you're JLo or actually in need of some lifestyle changes. No need to debate about it on here. It's not just some artificially/racially imposed superficial fashion magazine thing; people today are far more sedentary and fatter than 100 years ago. It's a fact. It's also true that people have more eating disorders than before, but objective measures can quickly give you a ballpark of which camp you're in.

That just goes back to what I was saying before. Obesity and eating disorders are caused precisely from that rigid standard imposed by a few that I previously mentioned. It's been psychologically proven that eating disorders, whether the disorder in question results in obesity or in one being grossly underweight, stem from the same problem. Some people can't achieve the standard, and in their obsession to do so, they starve themselves. Others get depressed and overeat.

[doiask42much]

Most medically prescribed ranges such as BMI and body fat percentage are designed with health, not beauty, in mind. You can look rather slim and actually have a high body fat percentage if you have no muscle, as I discovered firsthand when I first joined the gym. The ranges vary quite widely, prescribing an upper limit which I myself would not be terribly happy with for my height, but if you're unhappy with numbers per se, many of the trainers at a gym who bodybuild can make corrections to account for muscle mass that may be weighing more heavily than fat, but those people are the exception, not the rule.

 

As for psychological disorders that result in eating disorders, I don't think they are caused by things like BMI and body fat percentage. If you read many of the threads here, it would seem that they are caused by a lack of self-esteem that typically stems from parents, members of the opposite sex, and the media. These objective measures are just crumbs and if you actually follow them as prescribed, they generally lead to a healthier weight, not a less healthy one, in either direction.

[The Velvet Vixen]

Bottom line is I feel it's none of the OP's business. She knows how she wants to look, and even if it's anorexic, it's none of his business. Nor mine or yours, for that matter. I just hate it when men assume women want to look a certain way for men. For some women that's true, but for a significant portion it's not.

I agree...there's no appropriate or polite way for a man to comment on the body parts of a woman he has no relationship with, especially not in the workplace.

 

 

I totally agree about different types of beauty. I hardly fit the buxom blond stereotype that so many have liked for so long. I am about as far from that as one could get. Maybe it's some backlash on a subconscious level against buxom women? But I do happen to like the way I look.

That's the ideal I meant...it shouldn't be forced on everyone. I think it looks wrong and unnatural on most people when they dye their hair blond if they weren't born blonde. Blond people have naturally fairer skin. I think when women with dark hair dye their hair blond, it usually contrasts with their skin tone and makes them look washed out. I find some blond and blonde people attractive, but I prefer dark hair.

 

Also, flat buttocks are pretty rare, and I do look about. It's a strange sport for me, I guess. Then again, it would depend on our relative definitions of flat and rotund. For the record, I HATE flat asses. Something compact with a nice shape is what I like to see, given the choice. Flat, bleh. FAT, even more bleh. Again, it just depends on our relative definitions.

I look about, too--a lot--and not for sport, though, I guess for less pure reasons than you do, lol.

[doiask42much]

Obesity is unnatural, which is why you would never see an obese animal in nature,

 

I exercise regularly, not for the purpose of keeping my weight under control, since I've never had any difficulty in this regard due to my body type, but rather for the purpose of having the toned look that I prefer.

 

Sadly, obesity is becoming "natural" in this country. Natural as in common, of course. Few things are natural anymore.

 

And yes, this point speaks loudly to the OP and only underscores my point. You work out to achieve a look YOU prefer. What if some guy came along and told you you looked fine as you were, even could use more meat on your bones, and that you should stop working out?

 

Wouldn't you want to say something about that?

[doiask42much]

I look about, too--a lot--and not for sport, though, I guess for less pure reasons than you do, lol.

 

I actually find the female body far more attractive than the male body. Yeah, I look about, partly for pleasure and partly to be like, yeah, that's how I wanna look. Not because some guy told me so, but because I think that's what looks nice. I do the same with shoes, clothes, whatever. I don't follow what magazines tell me; some new trends are truly hideous. I just do what I think looks good.

[The Velvet Vixen]

Most medically prescribed ranges such as BMI and body fat percentage are designed with health, not beauty, in mind. You can look rather slim and actually have a high body fat percentage if you have no muscle

I know about that, but I actually have the opposite problem. My BFP is barely over the amount to be considered underweight. My doctor actually told me I should drink some milkshakes, lol. I've been trying to gain eight to ten pounds for a few years now. Every now and then I manage to put on one or two before dropping back to a lot less than I started with again. I guess losing weight and trying to gain can be just as hard, depending on the body type. I do have one of those genetically round butts though, and these are what I'm attracted to also. Oops...it's obviously getting late, because I'm revealing lots of things I'll regret in the morning, not the least of which is information on body parts, which is too personal for me, lol. I think I'm also being sort of obvious about something I don't really want to share since I was raised a Christian and stuff, although I'm not really now. Maybe I'll delete this later or something.

[doiask42much]

It sounds like you have the physique most men desire! Not to contradict msyelf here or anything. I think a lot of it depends on height too. My butt is semi-round, not flat. I just know for as small as the rest of my body is and how short I am, I do have to watch it somewhat. Not because anyone told me to, I just like being confident whatever I put on, I'll look ok without a lot of trying different outfits on and posing in front of the mirror for an hour asking anyone if I look fat (like they'll be honest!). That could be just because I'm lazy. Heh.

 

I used to be on the lowest end of the BMI for my height but now I'm low to normalish. Do you know, for a while, I struggled with the idea of being normal because I wanted to be exceptional? Yes, I have warped thinking, but it came from my upbringing, not any of the media or BMIs.

[The Velvet Vixen]

And yes, this point speaks loudly to the OP and only underscores my point. You work out to achieve a look YOU prefer. What if some guy came along and told you you looked fine as you were, even could use more meat on your bones, and that you should stop working out?

 

Wouldn't you want to say something about that?

A strange man twice my age hit on me on the bus a few weeks ago, invited himself to sit next to me, wanted to come over to my house (the creepy man told me he'd seen me on the bus before and so I must live in___, which had me scared for a week, especially since I slipped and told him I didn't have any friends in the area yet), wanted me to cook for him (hilarious...jokes on him, anyway...I may dress very feminine and even seem like it initially in person, but I'm actually very much what some might consider a "feminist")...all types of stuff, and he made a comment about how I should get my mother to teach me some kind of cooking so that I could get some meat on my bones, lol. I told him, "this is the way I am"...and it is, since there's apparently not much I can do about it. Of course he tried to backpeddle and say, "And I like the way you are, blah blah..." but my feelings weren't hurt one bit, and it certainly didn't change the way I view myself, although I did think of him as rude and ignorant (I suppose if a comment were made by someone in person about my personality, that might bother me though...I'll admit I've never been too secure about that). The opinion of one, two or three random men doesn't make a difference to most people, but I think if most men a woman encountered seemed to feel the same way, it would have an effect on any woman. I hardly know what I'm talking about anymore, lol. Bedtime for sure.

[The Velvet Vixen]

It sounds like you have the physique most men desire!

I'm happy with my appearance, but I think I could improve if I were slightly curvier.

 

Men do like a variety of shapes of buttocks, though. Some go crazy over the heart-shaped ones, I think, although those don't appeal to me personally. There's something I think, mostly about the way a woman bends over and it looks like she has no butt at all, or when she's standing up and you can see the entire genital area from behind her that doesn't appeal to me.

 

Do you know, for a while, I struggled with the idea of being normal because I wanted to be exceptional? Yes, I have warped thinking, but it came from my upbringing, not any of the media or BMIs.

I think, though, that people are harder on women in general about their weight and their appearance in general. I really don't think most men are obsessive about their looks, unless they have an emotional problem like Body Dismorphic Disorder.

 

Speaking of upbringing, I'm so nervous about my earlier honesty although it's too late to do anything about it. I keep expecting millions of religious people to come rushing out of the wings and, hitting me over the head with Bibles and demanding that I repent of my evil attractions, lol, although I've never acted on them, anyway. I'll have nightmares about this tonight (or should I say later this morning). Plus if my SO ever reads anything (I've shown him two of my posts on the forum, so it's not like he doesn't know my username lol), I'm in huge trouble, since it's the only thing about me he doesn't know (actually no one I know knows), and it's something that he wouldn't approve of.

 

Not to contradict msyelf here or anything. I think a lot of it depends on height too. My butt is semi-round, not flat. I just know for as small as the rest of my body is and how short I am, I do have to watch it somewhat. Not because anyone told me to, I just like being confident whatever I put on, I'll look ok without a lot of trying different outfits on and posing in front of the mirror for an hour asking anyone if I look fat (like they'll be honest!). That could be just because I'm lazy. Heh. I used to be on the lowest end of the BMI for my height but now I'm low to normalish.

I think that BMI is also more difficult to come under control as we age. Probably some day I'll have to exercise more and harder to get the look I prefer, also. If you ask people if you look fat or not, you'd probably get different opinions (assuming they were being honest), anyway, because people also have different ideas of what's fat and what's not. You should see the huge difference between what I would consider overweight and what my SO considers overweight, for example.

[The Velvet Vixen]

Now I'm really going to bed, lol. It was interesting chatting, anyway, although we're probably off-topic most of the time....

 

I'll bring it back on topic before I go...referring to the body parts of a woman you barely know, especially on the job...bad. The only thing that's really important to that woman is really how she feels aout that body part, how her SO, if she has one, feels about the body part, and how men she might be attracted to and consider dating might feel (since you're a married man, you're probably, hopefully, not included on the list of potential suitors).

[I love hot men.]

I do think that in a country where obesity is almost epidemic, they are giving licence for some to run with it and feel that "curves are sexy" when really they look nothing like JLo and should really be more mindful their lifestyles. Not to say everyone with a JLo butt has a problem, but you should bear in mind that her trainers have her in the gym most days of the week, whereas most normal people are not this way. (She fights her own genetic predisposition every step of the way to remain a sex symbol and has even said so in the press.) Proportion is a good rule of thumb regarding % body fat. If you're confident about your body fat percentage, a quick trip to the gym is all it takes. They zap you with one of those machines and you can till in 10 seconds whether you're JLo or actually in need of some lifestyle changes. No need to debate about it on here. It's not just some artificially/racially imposed superficial fashion magazine thing; people today are far more sedentary and fatter than 100 years ago. It's a fact. It's also true that people have more eating disorders than before, but objective measures can quickly give you a ballpark of which camp you're in.

 

This is going to shock people, but J-Lo is actually underweight according to health standards.

[I love hot men.]

As far as the OP's original "dilemma," I don't feel it would have been inappropriate to state, "I think you look great as you are, and I think you'd look great in shorts as well." and leave it at that, because it would be stating the truth without being too specific as referring directly to her butt. That would not be an offensive comment if stated that way, and she sounds like a cool chick anyway.

[StayClose]

Should the topic come up again, I'll just reasure her that her diet & exercise is working just great, and there's nothing about her appearance she should feel self-concious about.

[StayClose]

I agree. I would never say that I like the extra large bump in the front of a man's pants.

 

"I think that proportionally, the substantial bump in your pants is far more attractive than the average man's bump. Oh, and btw, you really should be proud of the curve of your posterior. It does draw the eye."

 

Actually if she were to complement the bump on the front of my pants, I'd be flattered.

 

Or I may embarrassed if the comment causes the bump to get larger

[doiask42much]

As far as the OP's original "dilemma," I don't feel it would have been inappropriate to state, "I think you look great as you are, and I think you'd look great in shorts as well." and leave it at that, because it would be stating the truth without being too specific as referring directly to her butt. That would not be an offensive comment if stated that way, and she sounds like a cool chick anyway.

 

This is probably an ok way to go.

 

JLo, like many celebs (and many people in general), goes up and down a bit with her weight. Like in Monster in Law, she looked a bit big, but then you see her in the "get right" video, and she looks slimmer again. Flat, firm stomach, even though her hips and butt look sort of wide. But then again, a lot of those videos are pretty doctored, so you can't really trust your eyes. I knew a guy who did this for a living, retouching music videos to make them look thinner, wrinkle free and smooth-skinned.

 

My dislike of her body is probably more tied to my dislike of her in general. She is overrated in every way and seems like a nasty person. I'm glad that people seem less interested in her nowadays.