Where to go from here.

[Glyde693]

I've posted once before concerning this, and in this ill recap what happened prior, and after that post.

Our relationship started when i was 18, she was 29. She was married at the time (she stayed married for her son). She was unhappy in her relationship and we hit it off. We continued to hide our relationship but she kept moving forward, starting with the declaration of the divorce, him moving out, her getting a new house etc etc. Around november last year (18 months into the relationship) she wanted to get high with me, and i obliged. Then i started getting depressed, but i ignored it, as i typically have seasonal depression. This was different because instead of dealing with it, i pushed it away with smoking more. On top of it i had some family issues and made a big deal about an old ex emailing her and lost trust in her as well as my family. I closed myself off from the world till i got clean in march, and finally back to who I am (about a month ago). I went back to her and things hit it off again, and when we where together where right. Then her ex husband comes back, demands i stay away because of their child. I didn't understand, but i realized i had to prove that i was stable and I am. It was only a month but she lets me back in on saturday, and when I was both of us where perfect, she was happy as was I. We talked daily for the most part till tuesday, no call from her (I was letting her make contact). I asked her why she didn't and she was blunt. I knew something was wrong because of how she was acting when her ex husband called on sat so i asked her if she was in another relationship. "I don't know". I push it because i know how i feel about her and if im getting the backseat im out. She says she can't afford her house, she fell behind when i left. Etc Etc Etc. Says she tried trust me and can't, so instead she is going back to her unahppy marriage where she knows she can't be happy, just for the financial security (he makes ~300k a year). I got pissed, it hurt. She knows she won't be happy and hes a bad father, and she knows how i feel about her. She says she cares about me ... but idk. I want her, ive seen whats out there, and the way i feel with her, its unique. The bonds better then any friend ive ever had. Yet i fuxxed it up and can't really do anything to change it. Do i just walk away, give up, try to be happy. Or make myself miserable because of how much i care about her happyness and stick around and try to put the trust back in our relationship. Thanks for reading

Dave