mighty bop Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 For those of you that remember, my ex and I broke up about a week before Valentine's Day because "she was not ready" for a relationship. I had fallen for her, and she kinda broke my heart when it happened. Anyways, since then I have tried to be her friend, seeing a movie and eating lunch together. These things were rather hard to do, considering lunch was at her place, where I had spent many nights. And since then I have told her I don't think the friends thing is gonna work out, which upset her and made her cry. Two times I have said I don't wanna lose her so I will keep trying. Right now we are basically speaking on messenger and that's it (except for today when she called me, but I will get to that in a bit). So like I said, we have been talking on messenger (we work in the same office building) and it has been going OK. But yesterday, I was talking to someone by my desk, and when I sit down, I notice that she sent me a message. She said something to the effect of "I just like looking at you standing there, so handsome" (I work out and was wearing a form-fitting shirt) And we are supposed to be friends!! This really confuses me and I'm not sure what she's doing. So then today, she gives me a call and tells me that she went to a fortune teller that she's been to a couple times before. She/he tells her that she will marry a guy who is Irish and Italian. She thought that's what I was. But I am not. I am Irish and French. She was with her step-mother and sounded disappointed when she got the truth. I was like "Yeah OK, I'm kinda making lunch so I'll talk to you later...." What do you all think? Is she just playing with my emotions here? I have told her I am still trying to get over her and that's why it's really hard for me to hang out with her. She is a great friend, and I would still like to hang out with her, I just need to get over her first!! I said I need some more time. But I'm not sure I will ever not like her. And then she goes and does something like this!!! Playing with my emotions, apparently? Anyways, I try to not initiate any contact with her. I have taken her off my messenger list and she knows she's not supposed to call (even though she did today). The thing is, I would probably give her another chance, but we would really have to sit down and talk about it. I don't want another broken heart. This girl is worth it, so that is why I am willing to give it a try. I have gotten a new job and therefore will be away from her for most of the time. Hopefully this separation will have some kind of effect. So, after what you all have read, what do you think she is doing/thinking? Thanks for the input! Link to post Share on other sites
flowers Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 Well, at least you will have some distance with the new job. That is a positive thing. It sounds like she is playing with your emotions. I'm not sure how long you went out with her. But, I would tell her that you have to have no contact with for a while....that would mean no e-mail or phone or face to face contact..FOR A WHILE. tell her that. Then you will be able to see if you are a game or not. Don't return her calls or respond to her for at least a couple months.... Maybe then she will figure out what she wants Its the fastest way to find out if you are really meant to be.. Otherwise, she will always think that you will be there for her.....if you keep contact with her....and she will have no idea what it would be like without you. If you let her play you....then you are a door mat to her......and she can turn you "on" and "off" whenever she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mighty bop Posted February 23, 2003 Author Share Posted February 23, 2003 OK this is getting ridiculous. She just got on messenger and this is how it went: She says: hi I say: how is my princess? (I know I shouldn't have said this) She says: hey that's what that crazy guy at work says I say: I know, hehe I say: so what did you do today? hang out with your mom? She says: yeah and watch some movies I say: cool (a couple minutes of not saying anything) She says: you still there??? I say: of course I say: whatcha doin? She says: thinking about you I say: awwwwww I say: you're killing me, you're really killing me She says: I'm killing you?? She says: how am I killing you ?? I say: it's a figure of speech? She says: I know that...beavis... I say: oh ok after 5 minutes of no chatting: She says: quiet again huh? She says: well i'll let you be then (signs off) I say: huh (the message cannot be sent) What exactly does she think she's doing? And what do i need to do? I need to get to the bottom of this ASAP. I don't like games. Link to post Share on other sites
flowers Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 wake up she is using you to boost her ego. don't respond to any messages...and tell her you need time to yourself. she is playing with you...... don't talk to her for a while...maybe 5-7 months if you went out with her for a long time if you went out with her for only a couple months then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mighty bop Posted February 23, 2003 Author Share Posted February 23, 2003 Yeah we dated for only a couple of months so I think I am just gonna move on when I start working this new job. I just wish she would let me know what she's doing. Seems rather childish. Link to post Share on other sites
flowers Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 sorry to be so harsh...but, i wanted to open your eyes. you don't have alot of time invested....so move on. Believe me, its best you find out now that she doesn't know what she wants. It took me a couple of years for my x to tell me he wasn't sure what he wanted. so please...be thankful you know now.\ write he a nice letter and tell her that you need some time off.... and, down the road,maybe you'll get back together.. .if she gets her **** together. (dont write this line in the letter) Link to post Share on other sites
Author mighty bop Posted February 23, 2003 Author Share Posted February 23, 2003 I think you are right. When I get this new job, I think I will write her a nice long letter and mail it to her. Tell her we need to take some time off from each other. I will leave the door open for her, though for a friendship or maybe something more, when she she knows what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
flowers Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 You need to take a couple of days to think about it and then write the letter. don't wait to get the new job. EVIDENTLY. her persuing you is making you feel good that is why u are procrastinating. get it over with..... the sooner you do this the faster you will know if whe is playing games with you. .. and then maybe she will come to her senses in 4 -6 months and realize that she lost a nice guy. and, if she doesn't realize it then...then she will in the future....and it will hit her in the face so hard, then Link to post Share on other sites
Author mighty bop Posted February 23, 2003 Author Share Posted February 23, 2003 Yes I think she will know she lost a good thing. But like I mentioned before, I think I may be settling here. I know I can get something better. Link to post Share on other sites
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