ms-ding Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Ok, I admit it. I've been a bad girl. I've been with my b/f for 3 yrs and we've been having some ups and downs. More downs than ups lately. Anyway I work in a supermarket and there's been this cute customer who is always friendly and polite to me. And I thought maybe... So I started trying to get his attention a little when I could. Eye contact, smile, they call it the come-hither look I think? At first his response was friendly. Then he abruptly went all cold on me. Yesterday he walked passed me in the shopping center and said he knew I had a b/f, (he even knew my b/f's name). Don't know how he found out but he did. Said he wasn't very happy with me. What should I do? Say sorry? Or do nothing? I mean nothing happened really. He was a bit angry though I appreciate any advice. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 I guess he found your MySpace page. I hate it when that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 What should I do? Say sorry? Or do nothing? I mean nothing happened really. He was a bit angry though I appreciate any advice. Thank you You don't owe him anything. When he says he's not happy with you, tell him to bite your a**... seriously. Either that or, 'And now you never will be...'. Really, you don't owe this complete stranger anything. It's his choice to be a prick. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 This part I don't get: "And I thought maybe..." You thought maybe what? You wanted to go out with him? Were you just flirting or were you hoping to be asked out? I would figure out EXACTLY what your intentions were, and just talk to the customer and totally blow his mind and be honest. It would be like: "Hey, sorry if I led you on. I was flirting with you and actually I was hoping you would ask me out. I do have a boyfriend, but things have been really bad lately and I think I just acted stupid and irresponsibly. I should probably make a choice of what I want to do, but I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm sorry." Something like that, as long as its the total truth. It would blow his mind. Please, your human. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 is simply ignore him from now on... period. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 is simply ignore him from now on... period. Well, I get the impression this guy has been led on, and then was embarrassed to find out this girl has a steady bf. I'd love to know exactly what went down between her and this customer. She could have been a big fat liar for all we know. We are only get one side of the story here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 we only get one side... from what I read though... I would simply ignore the guy, she doesn't owe him nothing... if he's scandalized... well.. too bad... life goes on... Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 we only get one side... from what I read though... I would simply ignore the guy, she doesn't owe him nothing... if he's scandalized... well.. too bad... life goes on... Well yeah sure, nobody OWES anyone anything. It's easy to act like a jerk or a hurtful person and go on with life. But if she actually did something wrong and deceiving, it would be decent of her to fess up and/or explain. But you are right. It's easier to just say 'too bad' and 'move on'. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Well yeah sure, nobody OWES anyone anything. It's easy to act like a jerk or a hurtful person and go on with life. But if she actually did something wrong and deceiving, it would be decent of her to fess up and/or explain. But you are right. It's easier to just say 'too bad' and 'move on'. WTF? She posted: So I started trying to get his attention a little when I could. Eye contact, smile, they call it the come-hither look I think? I don't see how she could be have been hurtful... simply flirting... At first his response was friendly. Then he abruptly went all cold on me. Yesterday he walked passed me in the shopping center and said he knew I had a b/f, (he even knew my b/f's name). Don't know how he found out but he did. Said he wasn't very happy with me. He went all cold when he found out she had a bf... so what? geez... and he said 'he wasn't happy with her' ...wtf does he thinks he is... her father? You are speculating that she did something wrong... I'm not... I answered from what I read. If the guy is soooo uptight...that's his freaken problem... so yes I stand by my post... I would totally ignore him... I don't have patience with 'holier than thou' people like him... he wouldn't be worth my time and energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms-ding Posted July 8, 2007 Author Share Posted July 8, 2007 Well, I get the impression this guy has been led on, and then was embarrassed to find out this girl has a steady bf. *sigh* That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I led him on, I thought that obvious. Yes, I hoped he would take me away from where I am now. He's not some net dude I can just block - he could walk into the supermarket anytime. He's also regarded as a good customer by the supervisors, because his is a regular customer. I would figure out EXACTLY what your intentions were, and just talk to the customer and totally blow his mind and be honest. Thank you directx. That's the right way. It's also the most difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Thank you directx. That's the right way. It's also the most difficult. It's great advice. I'm sure it will make you feel better in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Hey Ms-ding, I would also recommend figuring out exactly what you want. You obviously like this customer, unless you were just 100% using him. Sounds like your bf relationship is going sour if it isn't already is. Sour milk doesn't get any better with age. You are young. You might want to think about shopping around as well. Link to post Share on other sites
shakenandstirred Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 OK, you two say she doesn't owe him anything, this is not true. If you openly engage someone in flirting you are giving them a signal that says "Hey I'm interested in you"! And if you continually do it you are giving the impression that you want to get to know them in more than just a casual hello. She was wrong. She does owe him an apology because she was leading him on. Making him think she was available and he was probably interested so he started to ask questions about her and found out she had a boyfriend. Now she's not the kind of girl he would be interested in because if she can do that to her current boyfriend, then what would she do when she got bored with him. But according to the both of you, it's ok to flirt with a guy, get him interested, he gets interested finds out she has a boyfriend and gets angry because she led him on, but screw him if he gets angry, he's just a guy....right? Or women should not be held accountable for their actions....right? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 that's exactly it... 'screw him'... They never dated..for Pete's sake...it was only flirting... do people owe an explanation to everyone they flirt with.. I don't think so. You are entitled to your opinion on this subject, I have mine... so we can simply agree to disagree... I won't change my mind...and you won't change yours... so ... have a good day. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Could be that his male ego is a little hurt, and also a mix of being insulted as well. Perhaps he is insulted that you would lead him on, and see him as the type of person who would be willing to mess with you behind your boyfriend's back. There are people out there who have no respect for cheaters, and in fact are repulsed by them - and will not get themselves involved with one either, nor do they want to be seen as an OW/OM type. I wouldn't say anything, and I would stop flirting with him as well. It doesn't sound like either option would get you very far with this guy anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
shakenandstirred Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 that's exactly it... 'screw him'... They never dated..for Pete's sake...it was only flirting... do people owe an explanation to everyone they flirt with.. I don't think so. You are entitled to your opinion on this subject, I have mine... so we can simply agree to disagree... I won't change my mind...and you won't change yours... so ... have a good day. I'll agree to disagree, but it was flirting with intent, harmless flirting...fine! Flirting with intent(especially when you have a significant other) WRONG!! Flirting is not the issue here, her intentions are. Link to post Share on other sites
doiask42much Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 But according to the both of you, it's ok to flirt with a guy, get him interested, he gets interested finds out she has a boyfriend and gets angry because she led him on, but screw him if he gets angry, he's just a guy....right? Or women should not be held accountable for their actions....right? The OP admits fault and I think everyone here generally agrees what she did was a bit shady, but ultimately harmless. What I find odd and slightly troubling is his reaction to it. He was ANGRY at her and basically told her off even though they've done nothing but flirt in passing. Strange. Her bf should be angry with her, not this guy. He's nobody, really. He should just take the info he has and move on. Not his place to be telling her off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms-ding Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 He was ANGRY at her and basically told her off I'm not a very good forum user and I feel that has caused quite a lot of what I said to be misinterpreted. Sorry guys. He was a bit angry That's what I said. He was not fuming, spitting bullets, or about to explode. All he was said to me was "you're a bag girl acting the way you do, what would X your b/f say?" He said so without a smile on his face. It could have been better if I said he was slightly peeved. Angry was a bad choice of word. Sorry again I wasn't flirting with him. I was giving him the come on. I've already admitted to that. If some dude had been giving me the come on and then I discovered he had a g/f I would be FUMING!! Make no mistake. This is the only place I can admit this: I like him, I really do. Just because he caught me out doesn't mean I want to chuck him in the trash. To cut a long story short: I have said sorry to him. We are kind of talking about things by email now, but I don't know what will happen with him, probably nothing Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 This is the only place I can admit this: I like him, I really do. Just because he caught me out doesn't mean I want to chuck him in the trash. To cut a long story short: I have said sorry to him. We are kind of talking about things by email now, but I don't know what will happen with him, probably nothing Perhaps if you break up with your bf, he might overlook the inappropriate come on, and be interested in dating you. What's up with your bf? Why are you with him if you're unhappy? Link to post Share on other sites
Jasmine8719 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 i would do nothing...no offense...but you should'nt try to pick up other guys when your in a relationship...either be with your boyfriend or not. Link to post Share on other sites
nylah Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Pleeeeeze.....is it a crime to flirt with a guy??? with or without the intent to **ck them, you don't owe him anything...not unless there is something that you are leaving out of this story....I don't understand why he would be mad...he should be flattered if anything.... Link to post Share on other sites
halfarock Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 OK, you two say she doesn't owe him anything, this is not true. If you openly engage someone in flirting you are giving them a signal that says "Hey I'm interested in you"! And if you continually do it you are giving the impression that you want to get to know them in more than just a casual hello. She was wrong. She does owe him an apology because she was leading him on. Making him think she was available and he was probably interested so he started to ask questions about her and found out she had a boyfriend. Now she's not the kind of girl he would be interested in because if she can do that to her current boyfriend, then what would she do when she got bored with him. But according to the both of you, it's ok to flirt with a guy, get him interested, he gets interested finds out she has a boyfriend and gets angry because she led him on, but screw him if he gets angry, he's just a guy....right? Or women should not be held accountable for their actions....right? This is silliness. I flirt all the time, with some women, daily - with no more intent then to just flirt. From my point of view, the guy is wrong headed. If it were me, I’d just continue to flirt with her, even if she had/has a boyfriend. It’s no big deal. Besides, if her relationship with her boyfriend is possibly at its end, maybe she was available or becoming available. Why do some guys get so mad if they can’t have a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms-ding Posted July 14, 2007 Author Share Posted July 14, 2007 Pleeeeeze.....is it a crime to flirt with a guy??? with or without the intent to **ck them, you don't owe him anything...not unless there is something that you are leaving out of this story....I don't understand why he would be mad...he should be flattered if anything.... Well I wasn't flirting, was I? I've been pretty thorough, what do you think I'm hiding? And never mind him giving me some lip... I fessed up to my best bud and she went ape! Link to post Share on other sites
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 Well I wasn't flirting, was I? I've been pretty thorough, what do you think I'm hiding? And never mind him giving me some lip... I fessed up to my best bud and she went ape! I'm not sure what you call it, but yeah.I call it flirting....and it just seems odd that the "cute guy" would not be happy with you because he found out you have a boyfriend....I mean, he doesn't even know you right??? .... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms-ding Posted July 14, 2007 Author Share Posted July 14, 2007 I mean, he doesn't even know you right???He's been a regular customer for the 2 yrs I've worked there. We're not exactly strangers... Link to post Share on other sites
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