Been bad, been sprung :(

[nylah]

Well did I know that???????????????? I was just trying to make some sense out of what I was reading....

[masked_man]

Not to split hairs here (haha) but I thought the difference between flirting with someone and coming on to someone was quite distinct.

 

To your situation ms-ding: you've known him as a customer for two years you say. Have you been laying your "come hither" looks on him for all that time?

 

If I knew a girl had a partner, yet she continued to try and catch my attention, for all that time, (but did nothing else, like make some sort of move) I'd personally think it kind of weird.

 

Flirting is one thing. A lot of us do it. But if you've had actual real designs on this dude for two years, and that's a long time don't you think you should be taking a long hard look at what you really want?

 

Not just for your sake. But your current partner, and this other dude, also?

[ms-ding]

Have you been laying your "come hither" looks on him for all that time?

yes.... I mean I saw him check me out when I first started working there. It was fair to assume he was interested.

(but did nothing else, like make some sort of move

How could I? Like you masked man I live in Australia, but my background is Asian. In my family I was brought up to believe that a man make the moves, not women. Even if I was single.

[nicki]

If it were me and he busted me like that, I'd probably say "Geesh, I was just being friendly to you because you are such a great customer. I've always liked talking to you."

 

Unless you two made plans to go out, your flirting could be confused with simply being overly friendly. I'd use that blurry line to my advantage!

 

Really, though, break up with your boyfriend and pursue this guy if you want to. Then you can let your friendship with him turn into more while you maintain a clear conscience.

 

I may flirt with guys a little bit, but I always keep it vague so they don't know if I'm simply being friendly or really into them.

 

But, if you two are emailing and having any outside the store contact, then I'd say you are being very disrespectful to your boyfriend and should cut him loose.

 

Maybe you still have a shot with the customer. He may go out with you once you are single. I don't know any "good" guys who would poach on another guy's territory. He may really like you so make yourself single. He'll respect you and your "signals" a whole lot more.

[nicki]

Vague flirting: smiling, holding eye contact, engaging in conversation, complimenting.

 

Overt flirting/come on: licking lips, bending over to pick something up then smiling when you catch him looking at your a$$, telling him you had a dream about him and then giggling, mentioning how hungry you are and that your shift ends in 1/2 an hour. Stuff like that.

[ms-ding]

If it were me and he busted me like that, I'd probably say "Geesh, I was just being friendly to you because you are such a great customer. I've always liked talking to you."

 

Unless you two made plans to go out, your flirting could be confused with simply being overly friendly. I'd use that blurry line to my advantage!

That's exactly what I did! Only to save face though...

 

We messaged/emailed on MySpace. He found my page there. Turns out we have a common "friend". Dam, busted by MySpace!! BTW that's stopped now.... he told me what he "saw" (all my come hither looks)... and I was telling fibs in response.... "hey? what come hither looks???"

 

I don't know any "good" guys who would poach on another guy's territory.

He told me knew I was in a relationship and he doesn't "cross those sorts of lines". Two years later...

 

He may really like you so make yourself single.

I think he does. But I told him my current relationship was long term and stable. It's not as if I can break up next week now...

 

Lies are bad. Everytime he spoke to me my legs would turn to jelly