poobee34 Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 I posted a few weeks back(4 weeks back) and I am still finding it hard to believe how my life has been turned upside down. . I can't get past what has happened to me. i should feel happy that the woman my husband left me for doesn't want anything to do with him but I'm not. i am so angry, and so sad. I use to be proud on how I kept my house so clean, even with 4 kids, but now I can't be bothered with any of it. I just can't understand how he just emotionally left me after 17 years, how everything seemed fine up til he left. Hurt would be an understatement, I can't seem to pick myself up. Can someone please take my mobile(cell )phone off me so I can't text him anymore. I don't want to see him happy, I want him to feel as crappy as me. So I am asking you all, where do I go from here? How do I even begin to cope. Link to post Share on other sites
Melovator Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Dear poobee, This is a really hard, confusing time and its not like you're going to have an epiphany and it will make sense and you'll stop being sad and angry all at once. It comes and it goes, and it does get easier with time as much of a cliche as that is. But you should think about what you can do to make it better for yourself- ie stop texing! Let the charge die, don't get credit if you're pre-paid, delete his number, forget you know it. I can personally attest to the benefits to your mental health if you do. I use to be proud on how I kept my house so clean, even with 4 kids, but now I can't be bothered with any of it. I just can't understand how he just emotionally left me after 17 years, how everything seemed fine up til he left. Hurt would be an understatement, I can't seem to pick myself up. My Domestic Goddess sadly packed up her bags and left the house for a while, I did the bare minimum necessary to not live (and you're an Aussie so hopefully you'll get the refernce) in a 'Today Tonight' house. I felt her coming back but was overwhelmed at the thought of just starting the task, so I paid my sister to clean my house from top to bottom. So that my Domestic Goddess could re-enter with style. If you've got four kids and have always been houseproud then you know there's a goddess in you because you need at least three pairs of arms to begin with. Can you afford to get someone to clean it, have you got someone who'd do it for you as a favour? So you can get your groove back- seriously you know you do it for yourself anyway, because there's nothing better than going to sleep and waking up in a tidy house to know that you rock. Can someone please take my mobile(cell )phone off me so I can't text him anymore. I don't want to see him happy, I want him to feel as crappy as me. See first paragraph and of course you want him to feel as crap as you do but the reality is he can never really know how you feel because words drop so far from explaining the awful gaping reality of your emotions. Just remember he's a wombat-assed wanker, say it out loud, and you'll see how good it feels in the mouth to say that phrase- though somehow I don't think it would give the same oral satisfaction to non-aussies- its an accent thing... So I am asking you all, where do I go from here? How do I even begin to cope. When I was wondering this, I read through old threads here in LS, I can't remember all the ones I read I just followed links to other threads in the threads I was reading (Thanks Gunny for a lot of those). I found it really helpful and there's alot of really good ideas and advice that you can apply to yourself. Everyone's human here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poobee34 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 Thanks Melovator for that, but where on earth did you come up with wombat assed wanker? Being strong I think will be my toughest challenge. i do read alot of threads here and still can not believe how similar everyone stories are. i have not texted him today, even I thought of something to bitch about to him, I have restrained myself. As for my house being clean, I feel like getting up and cleaning when I wake up but then....its still a mess at 4 in the afternoon. I think i am expecting for this to be all over really quick and not focusing on how I want my life to be without him. I am still in denial and just so angry. Thanks for reading my thread and for words of wisdom. I am trying to keep them in my head everytime a crazy action takes over and I lose control. :cool:Linda Link to post Share on other sites
Melovator Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 I dunno where wombat assed wanker came from... I once called someone a Stump Jump Plough, that stopped the arguement. Keep restraining yourself from the phone, I still gotta tell myself that... I just found the enthusiasm for cleaning got lost in the enthusiasm for my child, that I was exhausted for a while, unable to multi-task and too tired to do the nightly round-up after bed-time. So don't stress it if its really too much esp. with four kids, do what you need to do to maintain a messy dignity. There's a big difference between untidy and uninhabitable. If anybody says anything ask them if they wouldn't mind helping you tidy a little... If its all too much keep just one room clean, your bedroom is a great one if the kids don't go in there a lot because of the going to sleep and waking up somewhere tidy thing. Don't think about 'life without him'- think about 'YOUR life- what do YOU want to do with it?' I don't think I'm wise, there are others here who can say that, if you read enough threads you see that everyone has a process and hopefully that can help you with yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poobee34 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 To Melovator, Link to post Share on other sites
Author poobee34 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 Sorry stuffed that up, I was trying to say thanks, i shall try really hard to NOT text him. i just kept thinking that if i kept him thinking of me he might want me back. And yet as I write that I think how could we ever go back to being us? It would never be the same. Its me focusing on the good and sugar coating the bad. Wish i could afford to go away for 6 months! The house will get cleaned in the next week, that I shall do.And the next thing on my agenda is stay sane.:rolleyes:Thanks again Linda Link to post Share on other sites
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