If you think your husband won't cheat when he's out with the boys, think again....

[Krytellan]

I have no doubt my sweety will remain faithful.

 

I sure hope you're not too sure of that. If you believe that then you will start taking that for granted. Once we start taking anything for granted, our behavior toward that thing changes, or weakens. And once that happens, you'd be surprised what people are capable of.

[ash519]

and then there are lots of women like you, who choose not to trust and then push there men either out the door or into the arms of another.

 

But just to clarify...there are also lots of women like me who do trust and put themselves out there whose men dont cheat...no matter how much golf or how many women there are out there...they just dont and they wont.

 

This will probably be my last response because i dont agree with this thread and i dont like they way you tell women who say they trust there man that they shouldnt so they can be miserable, alone and just as jaded as you. But no decent man is going to want to stay with you if he knows that every time he eats you think he could f*** someone else. That is a surefire relationship killer.

 

Good luck to ya!

[luvmy2ns]

I sure hope you're not too sure of that. If you believe that then you will start taking that for granted. Once we start taking anything for granted, our behavior toward that thing changes, or weakens. And once that happens, you'd be surprised what people are capable of.

 

Why do you assume that just because I trust my man I will take him for granted?

 

I power walk a nearly 60% grade 8 blocks at lunch on work days to stay in shape. I want him to continue to find me sexy and attractive. I do my hair and makeup for him. I tell him often how much I appreciate him and how happy he makes me. I give him massages when he's worked hard, or rub his feet when he's been on them all day. I cook him great meals, and I share with him unconditionally. He does all the same for me. THAT is how I know. We both appreciate each other and SHOW IT! NOW do you understand? Good gawd.

 

Why is it so many people on LS hate it when someone besides them has a good relationship?

[ruby_gloom]

 

I power walk a nearly 60% grade 8 blocks at lunch on work days to stay in shape. I want him to continue to find me sexy and attractive. I do my hair and makeup for him. I tell him often how much I appreciate him and how happy he makes me. I give him massages when he's worked hard, or rub his feet when he's been on them all day. I cook him great meals, and I share with him unconditionally. He does all the same for me. THAT is how I know. We both appreciate each other and SHOW IT! NOW do you understand? Good gawd.

 

that guarantees absolutely nothing. but, it is good that you are trying.

 

I sure hope you're not too sure of that. If you believe that then you will start taking that for granted. Once we start taking anything for granted, our behavior toward that thing changes, or weakens. And once that happens, you'd be surprised what people are capable of.

 

this is true.

 

i don't see any "hate" from this post. it's a good and truthful observation, that's all.

[luvmy2ns]

that guarantees absolutely nothing. but, it is good that you are trying.

 

We're both trying. That's the point. I have faith in my honey. It takes a "special" kind of person to be a cheater. He is special, but certainly not in that way. I feel you have to be pretty selfish to be a cheater. Selfish is NOT in his vocabulary.

 

 

i don't see any "hate" from this post. it's a good and truthful observation, that's all.

 

Mere semantics. Okay, fine. Take out "hate it" and put in "are so negative."

[Woggle]

I must say I am somewhat surprised at how many women are disagreeing with the thread starter. Sometimes it seems like most women juat hate men and wouldn't trust us for anything so this is good to see.

[Pyro]

I must say I am somewhat surprised at how many women are disagreeing with the thread starter. Sometimes it seems like most women juat hate men and wouldn't trust us for anything so this is good to see.

 

You just need to get out more. Women aren't as bad as you think.

[doiask42much]

Nothing in life is guaranteed. I don't think anyone was trying to suggest there were any guarantees. All you can do is your best (like luvmy2ns is doing) and hope that your SO will do his/her best in return.

 

I've assumed men would cheat on me at the drop of a hat all my life, and let me tell ya, it hasn't served me well. It's led to a lot of dysfunctional relationships and destructive behavior on my part. Preemptive cheating, if you will. I don't see the point of this thread. We all know people cheat, men, women, married or not. (Women now cheat just as much as men.) What's so insightful about that? Married men (especially men of entitlement) cheating? Film at 11! Not. Talking about it this way is just going to make us more paranoid and less trusting, and the more you dwell on something, the more likely it is to happen.

 

For the first time in my life, I trust the person I am with. He had motive and opportunity (I even said go ahead), but he didn't do it. I don't take his fidelity for granted. I know I don't even deserve it.

[Pyro]

Nothing in life is guaranteed. I don't think anyone was trying to suggest there were any guarantees. All you can do is your best (like luvmy2ns is doing) and hope that your SO will do his/her best in return.

 

I've assumed men would cheat on me at the drop of a hat all my life, and let me tell ya, it hasn't served me well. It's led to a lot of dysfunctional relationships and destructive behavior on my part. Preemptive cheating, if you will. I don't see the point of this thread. We all know people cheat, men, women, married or not. (Women now cheat just as much as men.) What's so insightful about that? Married men (especially men of entitlement) cheating? Film at 11! Not. Talking about it this way is just going to make us more paranoid and less trusting, and the more you dwell on something, the more likely it is to happen.

 

Excellent post.

 

You are right. There are no guarantees and anyone is capable of cheating, but in the end, if they truly love you then you have nothing to worry about. So there is no need to dweel over the "what if's"

[Lostgurl]

Excellent post.

 

You are right. There are no guarantees and anyone is capable of cheating, but in the end, if they truly love you then you have nothing to worry about. So there is no need to dweel over the "what if's"

 

I wish that I could think like this. It's the what if's that drive me crazy. I keep my heart at bay because of the what if's, I stay in situations, that one normally wouldn't because of the what if's.... The what if's seem to have a suck a huge hold on me at times that it's maddening.

[Pyro]

I wish that I could think like this. It's the what if's that drive me crazy. I keep my heart at bay because of the what if's, I stay in situations, that one normally wouldn't because of the what if's.... The what if's seem to have a suck a huge hold on me at times that it's maddening.

 

Those are some of the most difficult feelings to conquer over. I was like that for a few years myself. Start off by having confidence in yourself.

[tanbark813]

I don't see the point of this thread. We all know people cheat, men, women, married or not. (Women now cheat just as much as men.) What's so insightful about that? Married men (especially men of entitlement) cheating? Film at 11! Not. Talking about it this way is just going to make us more paranoid and less trusting, and the more you dwell on something, the more likely it is to happen.

 

Word. I don't get why this thread has lastest 11 pages (granted I've skipped the bulk of it). Since when is it news that some men and some women cheat? Oh, check it out, I also heard that 1 + 1 = 2. I think I saw it on Google News.

[doiask42much]

Thanks, Riddler. I am truly honored, as you are one of the people I've noticed on here with consistently wise and intelligent posts.

 

I know what you mean, lostgurl. Everyone has doubts, but you can't let them run your life and make you crazy. Maybe you could try directing that energy into affirming your partner and your relationship? Even if you feel doubtful, act like you don't--"fake it till you make it." If you keep doing positive things (see luvmy2ns's post), maybe eventually your thoughts will come to match your actions.

[doiask42much]

Tan, I skipped most of it too. It just seemed to be turning into a lot of arguing over how many women go to golf courses. I just thought it was odd that the OP was assuming that all/most women assume their husbands wouldn't cheat. Judging from the number of posts in which women are upset about porn and "mental cheating," that seems like an odd assumption to make.

 

BTW, I liked your Boy George joke re: including gay friend in wedding. I just didn't really have anything witty to add and thought an emoticon on its own would be lame.

[VinaAmez]

How is it attacking by saying the man who came on to me, and the many married men who come on to my friend think the same way you do about their SO's? that is not an attack, it's just showing the point of my post. You don't really know if your SO would do the same thing or not because you're not there. If he were in the same restaurant, you can't state with 100% certainty that he wouldn't have done the same thing. Sorry, but you can't say what people will do when they're not with you. Again, this is just the point of my post. Lots of women feel the same way you do about their SO's, and know them and love them as well as you do yours....and lots of these women are unknowingly getting cheated on. Sorry, but it's true.

 

Again you say that we can't trust your SO's. Sure there are some that will but not every guy is going to do that. That right there is certain.

 

What are we suppost to do? Plant a wire everytime they go out?

[tanbark813]

Tan, I skipped most of it too. It just seemed to be turning into a lot of arguing over how many women go to golf courses. I just thought it was odd that the OP was assuming that all/most women assume their husbands wouldn't cheat. Judging from the number of posts in which women are upset about porn and "mental cheating," that seems like an odd assumption to make.

 

Well she's also assuming the vast majority of guys cheat which also isn't true. Her posts are primarily just pointless man-bashing.

 

BTW, I liked your Boy George joke re: including gay friend in wedding. I just didn't really have anything witty to add and thought an emoticon on its own would be lame.

 

Understood.

[VinaAmez]

Gezz, you guys type too fast.

 

Anyhow ILHM I know what your saying, but what your saying isn't coming out right. Well some is but not all of it.

[Lizzie60]

Again you say that we can't trust your SO's. Sure there are some that will but not every guy is going to do that. That right there is certain.

 

What are we suppost to do? Plant a wire everytime they go out?

 

What you're supposed to do? Simple... nothing... stop worrying about it...

 

You have to tell yourself that no matter what you do...if he wants to cheat, he will... so why should you worry about it...

 

I am with ILHM... most if not all men cheat, given the opportunity and knowing their SO won't find out... but the reality is that there is not much you can do about it... you got to trust him... period.

 

To say that one's SO will never ever cheat is unrealistic... I've seen men who, not even their best friend, would even doubt his loyalty to his wife... but guess what... I met him in a parking lot... I never did anything with him but he was looking for someone... he was a lawyer and well known and nobody, absolutely no one, would have doubt him...

 

It's not written on anyone's forehead...

[VinaAmez]

What you're supposed to do? Simple... nothing... stop worrying about it...

 

You have to tell yourself that no matter what you do...if he wants to cheat, he will... so why should you worry about it...

 

I am with ILHM... most if not all men cheat, given the opportunity and knowing their SO won't find out... but the reality is that there is not much you can do about it... you got to trust him... period.

 

Then again you can't trust them if you go by SOME people's stats which I have yet to see.

 

And no I'm not worried. I have no reason to unless now I should start.

[Lizzie60]

Then again you can't trust them if you go by SOME people's stats which I have yet to see.

 

And no I'm not worried. I have no reason to unless now I should start.

 

This is what I don't get: I have no reason to unless now I should start.

 

Why should you start? Just for the fun of it? No... I say just trust him... there is nothing you can do to prevent it anyway.. so why suffer 'anxiety' over it.

[VinaAmez]

This is what I don't get: I have no reason to unless now I should start.

 

Why should you start? Just for the fun of it? No... I say just trust him... there is nothing you can do to prevent it anyway.. so why suffer 'anxiety' over it.

 

What don't you get? Geez Lizzy I swear I need a couple of drinks before I repond to you. Going sober isn't easy.

 

And I don't have any anxiety over it. I was asking beause it seems to some they can't be trusted. I trust mine but I'm guessing I shouldn't and just go on with my wee way.

[Topper]

I have to agree with the poster who made the distinction that these are all rich guys at a ritzy golf course. Their wives probably married them for their money and would just as soon they cheat so they don't have to "service" them in order to keep their wallets filled. And these men already feel very entitled, just like surfgirl's fiance on the thread about his leaving her in the dust to take a nice vacation with his rich family. Yup, most people with lots of money have a very skewed vision of society and what it means to be a decent human being.

 

OK, the wives married them for their money isn't true. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SPEW THIS CRAP. First of all, assuming we are talking about first wives, the husbands didn't have anything when they married them other than potential. THESE men acting like teenagers on their little "retreats" aren't so wealthy that this isn't a special treat for them. So we are not talking about family wealth here. The wives in most situations, have groomed their husbands, help to make decisions on his advancements and probably done more behind the scenes work that he executive assistants. Saved and planned for their families for years. It's not HIS money, it is theirs. And yes while he's gone they are playing tennis and drinking martini's at the club while the housekeeper is shopping with the kids. Is it worth it? NO, but it beats the hell out of hanging the laundry on a clothes line outside your trailer while your husband it screwing the drive thru girl at the local hamburger stand.

 

Wealthy people with family "old" money are usually raised with a strong sense of social obligation. It is the people who are new to this lifestyle who money instills this sense of entitlement, for the most p art.

 

Oh you poor nieve little Penguin, I spent 18 years working with some very wealthy people. New money and old money people. I was just a guy who did his job very well. I have seen a lot of the worse of the entitled rich. Yes most even the old money rich look down on those who are the have nots. they are just better schooled at how they act. Yes there are people with money who are truly kind and giving.

[rainfall]

What you're supposed to do? Simple... nothing... stop worrying about it...

 

You have to tell yourself that no matter what you do...if he wants to cheat, he will... so why should you worry about it...

 

I am with ILHM... most if not all men cheat, given the opportunity and knowing their SO won't find out... but the reality is that there is not much you can do about it... you got to trust him... period.

 

To say that one's SO will never ever cheat is unrealistic... I've seen men who, not even their best friend, would even doubt his loyalty to his wife... but guess what... I met him in a parking lot... I never did anything with him but he was looking for someone... he was a lawyer and well known and nobody, absolutely no one, would have doubt him...

 

It's not written on anyone's forehead...

 

 

 

Not all men cheat. I know my man wouldn't cheat on me because I make sure I keep him happy. I work hard to look good for him and make sure our sex lif is interesting. These men who cheat are doing so because they are unhappy (99% of the time) and they are to scared to leave their partner.

[PandorasBox]

I work hard to look good for him and make sure our sex lif is interesting.

 

I think that is wonderful. However, there are men whose wives, S/O's are very good looking, very pretty, very fit etc, and will do anything in the sack for them. But that alone doesn't stop SOME people from cheating. There are alot of good looking men and women whose spouse may cheat reguardless of their looks.

[VinaAmez]

I work hard to look good for him and make sure our sex lif is interesting.

 

I think that is wonderful. However, there are men whose wives, S/O's are very good looking, very pretty, very fit etc, and will do anything in the sack for them. But that alone doesn't stop SOME people from cheating. There are alot of good looking men and women whose spouse may cheat reguardless of their looks.

Sad but true.