Baby shower gift for mean cousin?

[doiask42much]

I just got an invite to my cousin's baby shower and then it mentions they are registered at Babies R Us. She lives in another city. Do people usually send a gift anyway, even if they aren't attending? I have no idea what the protocol is.

 

We have never gotten along well. She was pretty cruel to me during high school; I lived with her family for almost two years when I first arrived in the U.S. Last time I saw her (maybe three years ago?) it was also unpleasant. We have never had a satisfactory reconciliation from my point of view, though I'm sure would see it as just me being too sensitive.

 

I wonder if I am going to look petty if I don't send a gift. It's not the money, I simply don't like her and plan to avoid her for as long as I can. Or should I take the high road and send something? I really don't know.

[directx]

Take the high road and send her something.

You said its not the money, so I would look at it like this:

It costs just a few bucks for you to sleep well at night, feel good about yourself for taking the high road, prove you are a better person than she is, and you don't risk looking like a jerk to the rest of the family.

And who knows? Maybe it give her a guilt trip and/or rethink how she treated you.

Don't let her turn you into something so petty.

You can't lose this route. Just for a few bucks?

 

By not sending anything, all you gain is giving her more reasons to dislike you.

 

I think its pretty obvious, depending on the person you want to be.

[Lizzie60]

I just got an invite to my cousin's baby shower and then it mentions they are registered at Babies R Us. She lives in another city. Do people usually send a gift anyway, even if they aren't attending? I have no idea what the protocol is.

 

We have never gotten along well. She was pretty cruel to me during high school; I lived with her family for almost two years when I first arrived in the U.S. Last time I saw her (maybe three years ago?) it was also unpleasant. We have never had a satisfactory reconciliation from my point of view, though I'm sure would see it as just me being too sensitive.

 

I wonder if I am going to look petty if I don't send a gift. It's not the money, I simply don't like her and plan to avoid her for as long as I can. Or should I take the high road and send something? I really don't know.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't send her anything... you are obviously not close to her... she's mean...blablabla... so I would not even waste my money on her....

 

BUT

 

If you know you are going to feel bad about it... then by all means, send her a small gift... don't spend too much...

 

I hate all kinds of showers... it's like begging for gifts and money!!!! Hate it... hate it.

[tanbark813]

Send her this:

 

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=499

 

 

[doiask42much]

 

That would go over well. She's superconservative; her husband is the one and only guy she's been with, and I can't even picture that.

 

She's a very cold, unemotional person and always has been, so she thinks it gives her licence to run roughshod over other people's feelings. I honestly don't think she gives a crap about me one way or the other, but she is EXTREMELY cheap and money-minded. This is all about her getting stuff for free. That's her biggest turn-on. Maybe that's another reason I don't feel like giving her anything, in addition to her being a lame b*tch.

 

However, I do worry about looking like a jerk in front of the rest of the family. Why, I have no idea. They are all a bunch of jerks themselves.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I was initially going to say to send a small token gift until I saw this.

 

This is all about her getting stuff for free.

 

I would try to think of something sentimental without much monetary value. And I would make a point to send it. I'm assuming that your cousin would get much more pleasure out of telling people how "jealous" you are that you didn't even send a gift. That sounds like the kind of person she is.

 

When I was very pregnant with my son and on a vacation with all of my extended family, my father sat at the table and sketched the most incredible scene with my son as a caroon character with the same name, fishing with all of the forrest creatures. When my son was born my sister gave that to me framed. It meant more to me than any gift I received. OK, she might not be so touched by something sentimental but it shows though, doesn't have a lot of monetary value, and doesn't look like you are trying to send a message by not sending a gift.

 

Just my thoughts. I would NOT send her anything she had registered for.

I think that one of the children's classic books makes a very nice gift and can be inscribed inside the front cover.

[quankanne]

she might be an evil, greedy poor excuse for a human, but the shower isn't really about her: It's about a little bitty baby whose appearance & life people are celebrating.

 

if she's registered at certain stores, by all means, get a copy of her list so you can get ideas of what she's looking for/at, then go from there. It doesn't have to be expensive or gorgeous, just useful, because with a newborn it seems like all you're doing is changing diapers and dirty clothes. According to my sister, a new baby can never have enough diaper shirts or onesies, because those are what get dirty the quickest. And they're really not too expensive.

 

a personalized gift for the baby is nice, too – when this particular sister's first baby was born, our mom gave him a copy of a quilt that my sister had as a newborn, down to the green gingham and embroidered panels that she'd recreated. My sister also has kept the little red Izod onesie someone had given him ... 20-something years ago!

 

remember, it's not so much about your cousin or her husband, but their baby.

[doiask42much]

I was initially going to say to send a small token gift until I saw this.

 

This is all about her getting stuff for free.

 

I would try to think of something sentimental without much monetary value. And I would make a point to send it. I'm assuming that your cousin would get much more pleasure out of telling people how "jealous" you are that you didn't even send a gift. That sounds like the kind of person she is.

 

When I was very pregnant with my son and on a vacation with all of my extended family, my father sat at the table and sketched the most incredible scene with my son as a caroon character with the same name, fishing with all of the forrest creatures. When my son was born my sister gave that to me framed. It meant more to me than any gift I received. OK, she might not be so touched by something sentimental but it shows though, doesn't have a lot of monetary value, and doesn't look like you are trying to send a message by not sending a gift.

 

Just my thoughts. I would NOT send her anything she had registered for.

I think that one of the children's classic books makes a very nice gift and can be inscribed inside the front cover.

 

Interesting idea but it probably involves more thought/effort on my part. My guess is she would get it and be like, "WTF is this?" She wouldn't understand what I had meant by it at all.

 

Money is her favorite topic. What she's saving, how much things cost, the relative value/savings on any and every item. Money, money, money. I haven't actually looked at the registry yet, but I'd assume there would be a few smaller items on there, as babies generally need all kinds of little things.

 

I should and will send something. I know I will have to see her eventually, one day. I don't even hate her, exactly. I just hate the way she treats me. Funnily enough, a lot of our fights back in the day were about money. She felt resentful that her parents provided me with a place to stay and the basic necessities, even though my mother gave her mother money to look after me. She told me no one wanted me there and I should go live with my mother just because a light was left on (presumably by me) and wasting electricity, from her point of view. (Her mother left it on for her father.) I have a strong suspicion that she took letters I had written to my friends and threw them in the trash because she didn't want her mother to pay postage on them! She is truly a freak.

[Art_Critic]

Funnily enough, a lot of our fights back in the day were about money.

 

 

Isn't that what this is really about ?.. So this is just another fight about money with her.. though she doesn't know you are having it..

 

A baby shower gift is all about the baby... and the celebration of that baby..

I say get the list and buy her a gift that suits her..

 

I've never been a fan of throwing more gas on family fires.. I'm more into throwing water on them and fanning the flames.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Then by all means send her a copy of Cinderella! Write on the inside how this story always had a special meaning to you! And that your hope for her is that she never encounters any evil step sisters! Also, you can send it media mail which costs less!:lmao: