Darth Vader Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Ok flex, you've already thought they could be using his car. Well, you're doing the best you can. Have you just "dropped" in to take her to lunch yet? Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I agree, on the exception that a PA is as dangerous if not more dangerous than an EA, because a PA can, and/or will get a person an STD, or worse AIDS! But from what's been said, an EA for a woman can help cause a PA, but not always. I agree if the fear is an STD or AIDS. But if the concern is your marriage, an EA will more likely lead a OW to a divorce than a physical one. What od you think? I've known women who have left their spouse without even having had sex with the MM. In some case without even meeting them in person! Nuts! <pun slightly intended> Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Touche! No generalizing! I am a notoriously slow eater. I'm going to take my time. Flattery will get you everywhere! What are you suggesting!? Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I agree if the fear is an STD or AIDS. But if the concern is your marriage, an EA will more likely lead a OW to a divorce than a physical one. What od you think? I've known women who have left their spouse without even having had sex with the MM. In some case without even meeting them in person! Nuts! <pun slightly intended> Again, women have been known to have sex with OM without any EA, there's just no certainty to that, but, the chances are much higher a woman will bang an OM if there has been an EA going on, length of time of EA before PA varies though. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Flattery will get you everywhere! What are you suggesting!? I'm busted. Hi, My name is Jupiter. I am a sugarholic. <hanging head in shame> Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I'm busted. Hi, My name is Jupiter. I am a sugarholic. <hanging head in shame> Holds hand like Dr. Evil and says "RRIIGHTT!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author flex Posted July 31, 2007 Author Share Posted July 31, 2007 Look, guys like all of you I do not have all the answers. I am still day to day at this point. I have some good days and some days I wake up and just want to walk away from all this. I am trying to look at this objectively with as much fact as I can find. I don't like any of this. regardless of how far this "friendship" went or did not go or is going still, it was not appropriate. That hurts a ton. If there were not 12 years and kids involved I may have already walked away. But things seem to be getting better. We are getting along, she REALLY seems to want to be here. She is doing the little things that just make me feel like she knows she was wrong and wants this to work. I want it to work. I am not completely innocent in all this. Hell I had cared this much about things this whole time I would not be here right now. But I am hoping we will get through this. We are getting along great, talking, hugging, kissing, just hanging out. She sends me IMs in the morning before she goes to work, calls me at lunch. I need to at least put a little faith in this. I am aware and looking out, but I hope I do not find anything. I want this to turn around. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 It sounds right Flex. She made a mistake and she came clean. You really can't ask for more than that. You know how there are sign when someone is doing wrong? There are signs when they are doing right and we have to be sure to play close attention to those. It sounds like you are. You are also taking responsibility for your part in whatever shortcomings in the marriage. You strike me as a man with a high emotional IQ and good head on your shoulders. Again, she is a lucky woman. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 Flex, I was listening to this song today which I love and thought of you and your wife (and others) Dig We all have a weakness But some of ours are easier to identify. Look me in the eye & ask for forgiveness; we’ll make a pact to never speak that word again. Yes, you are my friend. We all have something that digs at us, at least we dig each other. So when weakness turns my ego up I know you’ll count on the me from yesterday. If I turn into another dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me. Sing this song remind me that we’ll always have each other when everything else is gone. We all have a sickness that cleverly attaches & multiplies No matter how we try. We all have someone that digs at us, at least we dig each other. So when sickness turns my ego up I know you’ll act as a clever medicine. If I turn into another dig me up from under what is covering The better part of me. Sing this song! Remind me that we’ll always have each other when everything else is gone. OK, each other… when everything else is gone. [COLOR=#800080]Incubus [/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
Author flex Posted July 31, 2007 Author Share Posted July 31, 2007 Thanks for thinking of us. This place has been a great place to vent. I don't always make sense, but having someplace to just spew my thoughts out helps. Knowing I am not alone in my troubles helps as well. These are not things I really have shared with anyone close to me. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 Thanks for letting everyone into your world! There is a lot of pain and hoplessness in the stories posted on this board. I honestly believe that everyone is hoping things work out for you (except maybe vader). Its hard because I feel like you are doing the right thing, however I dont want to see you get burned. Anyway, you and your family have my best wishes! Vader, GO phones are the prepaid ones. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 Thanks for thinking of us. This place has been a great place to vent. I don't always make sense, but having someplace to just spew my thoughts out helps. Knowing I am not alone in my troubles helps as well. These are not things I really have shared with anyone close to me. Thanks for listening. I don't talk to anyone about this issue. For one, people judge my husband without giving him credit for all the other good things he does and is. Secondly, people in general will tell you two things: get over it; or leave the bastard! I also think that giving wings to the fears that drive us lessens their power over us. Words inside of your head can morph and change and they are hard to pin down. Once they are spoken, they can no longer do that. Think of the board as a diary that writes back. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 Thanks for letting everyone into your world! There is a lot of pain and hoplessness in the stories posted on this board. I honestly believe that everyone is hoping things work out for you (except maybe vader). Its hard because I feel like you are doing the right thing, however I dont want to see you get burned. Anyway, you and your family have my best wishes! Vader, GO phones are the prepaid ones. HEY! I hope things work out for them too! I just don't want Flex to be blindsided and come right back in here in 2-3 months saying that she was cheating the whole time, and it has happened too. Ok, thanks, I thought they were. Link to post Share on other sites
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