:( Something is missing.

[Jenease]

Dear Loveshack People,

 

I need some advice and help. A bit of background information for you.....

 

I started going out with a boy I fell very much in love with. We are both 18. What started out as something that I wasn't really interested in led to something that, before I knew it was consuming my EVERY waking moment. I loved him very much ... and we were gong to move in together. ( his idea completely ) A big step. About a week after that he decided that he didin't want to pursue a relationship with me anymore, for whatever reason..he didin't really mention one. I was very upset because I loved him so much and I wanted to be with him....and the breakup was messy and not very pleasant so I felt that I had lost something really important to me. We had gone through a lot of bad things together and a lot of good things. And then almost suddenly things changed. And we loved each other a lot so I don't even , NOW know what it was. For whatever reason we lost contact completely for almost 3 months. And I thought I would never talk to him again. About 3 weeks ago he CALLED me. Acted as if nothing had happened and we talked for about 2 hours. Just hey hows it going..what have you been doing kinda things. Then a couple days later he called again...we talked forever about everything and he had to go suddenly then said he would called me back that evening and that was almost a month ago and I have heard nothing from him. WHATS UP WITH THIS?????

 

I miss him so much, and I still love him a lot. But why would he do that? WHAT is he thinking? WHAT DOES HE WANT? I am very frusterated and upset. Im worried about him and I have no way of contacting him. I think that maybe I got my hopes up...and then...I don't know. He is so important to me. What am I gonna do? And why does this still hurt so much? Can someone help me understand?

 

Please don't think that Im pathetic. Im not, nor am I desprete. I just want him back in my life. I feel like something is missing from it...and its him.

 

Jenease

[LoveAngel]

Dear Loveshack People, I need some advice and help. A bit of background information for you..... I started going out with a boy I fell very much in love with. We are both 18. What started out as something that I wasn't really interested in led to something that, before I knew it was consuming my EVERY waking moment. I loved him very much ... and we were gong to move in together. ( his idea completely ) A big step.

Hmm.. sounds like you're placing blame on him right there.

About a week after that he decided that he didin't want to pursue a relationship with me anymore, for whatever reason..he didin't really mention one. I was very upset because I loved him so much and I wanted to be with him....and the breakup was messy and not very pleasant so I felt that I had lost something really important to me. We had gone through a lot of bad things together and a lot of good things. And then almost suddenly things changed. And we loved each other a lot so I don't even , NOW know what it was. For whatever reason we lost contact completely for almost 3 months. And I thought I would never talk to him again. About 3 weeks ago he CALLED me. Acted as if nothing had happened and we talked for about 2 hours. Just hey hows it going..what have you been doing kinda things. Then a couple days later he called again...we talked forever about everything and he had to go suddenly then said he would called me back that evening and that was almost a month ago and I have heard nothing from him. WHATS UP WITH THIS????? I miss him so much, and I still love him a lot. But why would he do that? WHAT is he thinking? WHAT DOES HE WANT? I am very frusterated and upset. Im worried about him and I have no way of contacting him. I think that maybe I got my hopes up...and then...I don't know. He is so important to me. What am I gonna do? And why does this still hurt so much? Can someone help me understand? Please don't think that Im pathetic. Im not, nor am I desprete. I just want him back in my life. I feel like something is missing from it...and its him.

Jenease,

 

What you're experiencing is not pathetic at all nor does it make you desperate. You obviously cared/care very much for this person and he obviously was a very important part of your life. But for some reason things changed between the two of you which resulted in a tumultuous ending of your relationship. Perhaps, three months later he feels he may have made a mistake in leaving you and is afraid of what he'll find in letting his feelings come back. That may explain is absence. Perhaps he's afraid. Whatever it may be, the only way you're going to get anywhere is by talking to him. Don't be afraid to call him or better yet, go see him in person and tell him about your confusion. The worse thing that could happen is that you find out he doesn't feel the same way. And for some people, including possibly yourself, that may have too much of a devestating impact that they'd be afraid to ask. But if you really sit down and think about it, I think you'll realize that there's nothing to be afraid of other than fear itself. That's the only thing standing in your way. Best wishes to you.

 

Yours,

 

LoveAngel