RareWolf Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 3 years ago, I went out with a separated woman with a 9yr old son for a year - lets call her Catherine. We had an awesome sex life, several great times away, shared friends and we connected. The best thing about her (aside from her great figure) was her social intelligence level. I say that disparagingly because I've seen her get conned by new faces - all women - which says a lot. However, if ever a woman knew how to keep me (or probably most men) challenged - knocking me back but urging me on, then Catherine was it. Our relationship started as a one night stand and grew. We spent a lot of time together, but Catherine and I never talked in depth & straight at the same time about our relationship which became a problem she sidestepped by instigating sex. We didn't argue much. We seemed to have an understanding. 9 months into the relationship, I wasn't able to deal with my (further) growing feelings and the need to progress, so I tried to break up with her - but I was weak and in many ways it was like an idle threat. Within 1-2 months she dumped me for another guy, saying their goals were similar. I took it as another challenge / obstacle to overcome and I wrote some pathetic e-mail. She got me good. That was about 2 years ago. Eventually I stopped thinking about her. I'd like to say I'm over it, but thinking about her challenges is still a turn on. The only way I am over it is if I'm not thinking about it. That would be fine, except she'd occasionally e-mail / IM my friends to find out how I was (without offering any information in return). I'd hear about it and in the end I had to ask my friends not to tell me and not to pass on info. It still occasionally comes up and the only way I could stop it is to go lone wolf and dump a whole section of my friends. I contemplate this, but due to mixing work and leisure it is easier said than done. Fast forward 2 years (several girlfriends later) to the current day. A few weeks ago I went out with a friend and indirectly heard Catherine isn't doing too well. It was suggested I *should* get in touch with her. Now I'm supposed to care? Catherine eventually got in touch with me. She's getting divorced and breaking up with the guy she dumped me for. It wouldn't surprise me if she wants to use me as leverage to dump this guy (as it seems she did with me). I don't know if Catherine just wants to be friends, is just looking for someone to take the pressure off or if she's gone through all those humiliating e-mail's of mine and has come to the conclusion that I really cared for her. I don't know whether I should entertain this any which way. There's already been some flirting which I suppose is to be expected and we were meant to meet up yesterday for a drink and a chat, she bailed last minute saying she'd lost her house keys and asked to rearrange for next weekend. I told her I'd check my schedule... After getting a couple of hours sleep this evening and waking up fresh-minded. I've come up with some options. (a) Stop replying, go into NC and if / when my friends ask - tell them not to ask me about it. (b) Tell her sorry but I can't meet up. Use any excuse and keep using it. Sooner or later she'll stop. © Tell her the truth about how I feel knowing it probably isn't a good idea. (d) Meet her, see what she wants. Be careful about starting anything new other than just friends. Not sure I can deal with that though? Considering how easily swayed I am by her (and clearly how crap my "friends" are), what advice can you give me...? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
hope4best Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 IMO - A. It's been two years, don't drag yourself back in to the past, keep moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenorman Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 The melodramatic title alone "a Femme Fatale" already shows you handing over all the imaginary "power" to her. But keeping up with the melodrama, I suspect that if you try to go back to her you'll be torn apart like a little lamb rather than a "rarewolf". Perhaps you're attracted to that? But if you want an opinion, go (a) all the way. She sounds like a complete waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RareWolf Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 The melodramatic title alone "a Femme Fatale" already shows you handing over all the imaginary "power" to her. But keeping up with the melodrama, I suspect that if you try to go back to her you'll be torn apart like a little lamb rather than a "rarewolf". Perhaps you're attracted to that? But if you want an opinion, go (a) all the way. She sounds like a complete waste of time. @ Tenorman. LOL, yeah you're right about the tone of my post - I got caught up in it. The whole relationship was a waste of time, I knew it when we started and I knew it all the way through, but I was very much into the mind games and sex. Some of that left an impression. On that note, I think both you and the previous poster are right. Been there, done that. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenorman Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Now you're sounding more like a wolf! Nothing wrong with a strong imagination either, just save it for the worthy... Link to post Share on other sites
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