I did something stupid

[wit09]

I have been dating this girl for close to three years. We seem to break up every 6 or 7 months or so always she wants to end it. We talk it out and everything works out. We have a almost not happening sex life. She for at lest would not have sex with for about a year. One of the last times she wanted to break up with me she first went to a gay mixer to see if she was atracted to anyone. She told me about this after the fact. She has also told me before that she has thought of other women when she would have me go down on her. Anyway back to what I did. Things were going great between us for many weeks. We have still had a few fights about the no sex thing. I decide to take out a online ad saying I was intersted in have sex with wome no strings attached. I also send many replays to other peoples ads. The only one I get I agree to meet. I never went in to the hotel I sat across the street and changed my mind. The girl who answered the ad turn out to be my girlfriend. I didn't change my mind because of any other reason that I new I couldn't go and do it because I really love my girlfriend I only took out the ad because I have been so frustraded with are crazy sex life, and I was sure since we were getting along so well that the shoe was going to drop any day now. Well to get to the point I know I'm crazy I should just move on to a girl how will address my bedroom needs, but I really want this girl back, but she won't talk to me. Does anyone know what I should do? I am a good guy I just did a bad thing. I have always treated her very well. I think that the fact that when she was unsure about us she went to she if she like any women at a guy mixer, and then pretended that I was a women while we were in bed. I know this things don't excuse my acts, but they are really not that far of hers are they? what should I do. I know I should move on. I do really love her and will do anything to fix this. the act of sit across the street from that hotel taught me that even the way things are I want her more than anything else. Please help me