Something I have noticed about happy marriages

[Trialbyfire]

Your right, many, many people do think that alpha means controlling arsehole but the people who are controling are just that - controling, they over compinsate for their short comings by bullying somone eles, they are far from an alpha persona.

 

But it is like peoples veiws on a traditional marriage, the way are grandparents ect were. The whole womens movment made it out to be a bad way of life ( don't get me wrong I am NOT against the womens movement but that is an entirly different subject ).

 

There were marriages that fell into the 'traditional' ways where the women stayed at home and ran the house/children and the men went off to work and provided for the family and the husband was respectfull and loving to his wife and children and generally speaking he was considered the 'alpha' male as he took charge to make sure they were provided for ect. and after 50 years of marriage they were still happy and in love.

 

Why? Because there marriage was equal, they both had there roles within the marrage and there personalitys were in harmony, they were not compeating with each other for control as they both had it in different ways.

 

People think that the traditional marriage involed a man contoling his wife and "putting her in her place" when needed was what a traditonal marriage was and since the womens movement we have all been running from and rejecting anything that seems like a traditonal marriage. Yes there were thoes marriages and still are but they are not the ones where after 50 years they are still in love, they are the ones who were still together cause divorce is 'wrong'.

 

All I'm saying is when you look at the tradinonal marriage ( the happy ones) there was often an alpha male or on ocasion an alpha female and that worked and worked well because things were in balance. The world we are in now is so busy rejecting the idea of 'alpha' and 'traditional' marriages that nobody understands what it really takes to make a marriage work, we spend so much time trying to stay in control and not give our power away that the idea of a alpha marriage is horrifying when in reality it does work.

I neither revile nor adopt the traditional roles within any relationship. It's up to the participants what they want in life. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you're not assertive. On the other hand, I have issues with how people view what a traditional marriage entails. A woman does not need to walk three steps behind her man to prove she's a traditional wife. Also, the man does not get final veto power. It's a joint decision unless one party chooses to abstain from the vote.

[Cerise]

I neither revile nor adopt the traditional roles within any relationship. It's up to the participants what they want in life. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you're not assertive. On the other hand, I have issues with how people view what a traditional marriage entails. A woman does not need to walk three steps behind her man to prove she's a traditional wife. Also, the man does not get final veto power. It's a joint decision unless one party chooses to abstain from the vote.

 

I agree with you, all I am saying is peoples veiws of a traditional marraige is the same as a alpha persona that it is controlling when both are far from controlling.

 

I think that socity is so wrapped up on the whole idea that these words mean to control that people forget to look at the finer points of a marriage, the little things that make these marriages natrually work.

[I love hot men.]

Which is a moot point because at some point the man is going to cheat while at a golf outing and the poor woman will not have seen it coming. Why even argue about roles in a marriage when the man is destined to cheat and ruin it anyway?

 

I never said that, that is just how you chose to interpret my thread, which has absolutely nothing to do with this thread. You didn't understand my other thread at all, but that's fine.

[Trialbyfire]

I think everyone has their interpretation of what a good marriage entails. It takes all kinds to make this world go round. Some people feel they need to control other people because it gives them the satisfaction due to lack of self-esteem and self-respect, while others want an equal partner.

 

Also, some people don't want the responsibility of making the full decisions or part of the decisions within a marriage or relationship.

 

Once gain, it takes all kinds.

[Woggle]

I don't think that women should be doormats either but women get that message everyday so I am addressing the men. There are more being abused emotionally and physically that people would like to admit. I have yet to see a happy relationship or marriage where the woman had no respect for the man. Respect is too me the most important aspect of a woman's attraction to a man and strong and independent men command the most respect. I also think that alphamen ten to avoid women that bring too much drama. When I was single I knew within a couple dates whether a woman was no good or not but before I grew a set of balls I would get fooled all the time and I even married a woman that was a complete fraud. Alphamales tend to only get involved with quality women and when they are involved they inspire respect. This is why I think alphas tend to have happier marriages.

[Gunny376]

An Alpha Male?

 

Has a "code" that he lives by that he's un-willing to comrompise for anyone! or anything! It involves honor, and integrity! Above all! It involves just doing the right thing! Because it was written upon your heart the day you were born! Even if that means you harm, brings you harm!?

 

Its being a part of something greater than yourself!

 

Its self scarifice!

 

Its knowing oneself, knowing yourself!

 

Its being self-assurded!

 

Its being self confident!

 

Its a willingness to put others before yourself!

 

Its completly understanding of "Semfer Fidelis ~ "Always Faithful" ~ "Do or Die!".............................."I'd do it for you Brother, all I ask is that you do it for me!"

 

No greater LOVE has a man for another! Than to lay down his life for him or her!!!!

 

 

SemperFi Mac!

[McFadden]

In real life I don't see many relationships we're one partner doesn't dominate the other. In most unions you will see definitively that one of the two is running the show. There really is no "equality" per se.

 

And actually the above applies to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones.

 

Thats the way it is, get used to it.

 

If I have to get used to that the other party will have to be the subserviant one and they'll have to like it..