witty35 Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 My bbf and I have been dating 4 10 months. He's the father of 2 boys (10 & 12 years old) and I have an 11 year old daughter. We don't live 2gether. 2 make a long s2ry short:We have the kids every other weekend, and on those weekends his ex-girlfriend's (not the mother of his boys) son is with us. He's always in communication with this ex, mainly because of the fact her son is with us a lot (she has a 11 yr daughter as well). My boyfriend claims that her boy and his boys are really good friends. He even picks her son up from practices at times and takes care of him when she needs a sitter (mind you, apparently she has a man). I feel there's more going on here, like he wants 2 keep ties with her and still has feelings 4 her. It's just bizarre. He keeps ties with all of his ex-girlfriends. Supposedly they remain friends. Another incident: he lent a different ex a few hundred dollars (she also has boyfriend). On 28/5 he gets a text from another ex which read "Happy holidays, always on my mind, your friend- xyz", and she's married. We also take care of his ex's (the mother of his sons) 2yr old son (from a different man) when she needs a sitter. He's very good 2 me, but it seems he cannot let go of old ties. There has 2 be boundaries, but obviously he doesn't have any. I have discussed my concerns with him and he brushes them off as being my problem, that I need 2 get over it, that i am insecure. I 2tally question the intentions of these relationships he's maintaining. Are they friends with benefits, or just friends? I'm trying 2 be patient and open minded, but I question whether I have jealousy issues or if my concerns are valid and his relationships with his exs are a little bizarre. Another incident, we just recently went on a road trip a couple or weeks ago w/ our kids (his boys and my daughter) 2 LA a couple of weeks ago. while on our trip my BF (no ex) son recieves a phone call from his ex inquirirng about whether her son (the one that’s always with us, who's not his) was supposed 2 spend the night. mY BF tells her no, that he is on vacation in LA. I thought it bizarre that she would track him down on his son't phone. she obviously tried 2 call him at home and his cell and didn't get a call back and should of left it at that. A day or so later she leaves my ex a couple of messages inquiring about an IPOD he som might of left over his house b4 we went on our trip. He then immediatley calls her back 2 respond. On our vacation? this was not an emergency nor did we have her son. I feel my BF should have ingnored her calls and let it be that. She is not his GF or ex wife, or father of her child. he does not owe her anything. the whole situation made me very uncom4table. I said nothing during our trip . I didn't want 2 ruin it 4 the kids or us & addressed it when we got back. We got in an arguement & didn't speek 4 a couple of days. He relentlessy defeneded his actions & feels it wasn't a big deal, I felt it was disrespectful 2 me as I am his GF, we were on vacation & the call did not warrant a c/b. It was not an emergency. He still sticks 2 the "we're just friends" bit & I'm trippin. We've argued about the same issue on & off 4 10 months now. We finally had a talk & he felt were not a good fit, we're not on the same page, we don't see eye 2 eye on this issue, he starting 2 feel diffntly about us & what not. I thought it was BS as up til then we were happy as can be, which leads me 2 believe that he still has feelings 4 her or just does not want 2 sever or set bnderies on the relationship w/ his ex & her son. He's still emotionally attached as I see it. he says he's not.needless 2 say we broke up, & now I'm heartbroken bcz I really loved him and I thought what we had was good, but I had to stand up for myself, to some degree I've felt disrespected. I've been really patiend and open minded throughout all this. It's been two weeks and he hasn’t called & I’m defiantly not going 2 call. I don't think he will and I guess I'll have to move on. I feel if I don't stand for something I'll fall for anything.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
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