Samantha Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 ok, people, don't laugh when you read this - because this problem of mine is real. I met this guy - great guy - good-looking, smart, in med school, great personality, the works...sounds perfect right? WEll, we started seeing each other and got pretty serious quick. Well, I am not one of those girls that has sex with any guy, so I wanted to wait until we got to know each other better and he was totally ok with that. He didn't push it or anything, and that's what made me think that maybe this guy is really "the one", I mean we fit together like peas and carrots or whatever. Ok, so you are probably thinking "so, what's the problem?" well - let me just tell you the probelm here - we have been dating for 4 months now. And I have really fallen in love with him. and he with me. Like I said things got serious quick and one night (a month ago) he took me out on this great date. He took me to "our spot" by the river and he proposed. Well, of course I said yes because I love him and he is everything I have always wanted. So we were at his house the other night and things got kind of heated up. And we let our hands slip a little and I reached my hand down his pants and I found this perfect man's only flaw - he has a very small penis. I mean it was fully hard and everything and it was still reallllllly little. Well, that turned me off right then just for a sec and we slowed down. I think he sensed something cause he kept asking me what was wrong, and I just said nothing. I haven't had the nerve to bring it up in conversation yet, and I don't know if he himself is self-consious about it or what, I mean I am scared to talk to him about it, I don't wanna hurt his feelings. But in all fairness, I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with a man that is not "big enough". I love him so much, but seriously if I marry him this is the LAST guy I will ever have sex with and some people say "quality over quantity", but I beg to differ. I just don't know what to do. Can someone help? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 I think if you really love him you ought to venture to have sexual intercourse with him and see just what he does with the instrument. If after you've experienced him sexually you still feel the same way, cut it short and give him the boot. I wouldn't ever tell him you broke up with him because of his tiny penis, though. Just tell him that you've decided you're not ready for marriage, would be the truth. You may have made a mistake and when it's all hard, his penis may be a bit larger than you imagined. But you shouldn'tt walk away from the love of your life until you've gotten a feel for the real thing. If you actually require your man to have alonger penis, you ought to inquire about a man's specs earlier in the dating process...and certainly don't accept a man's proposal until you have sampled his goods. Link to post Share on other sites
Squirts Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Hi Samantha, I know exactly how you feel. My ex (of 5 years) has a ginormous penis, I then met a guy who had such a small penis that the first time I reached for it, I was so shocked I choked! Im not kidding! The sex was good, but there were various positions that were not possible due to his inadequacies! But he gave good head - so that helped! Eventually, I found out that he was married, and had 6 kids, so I dumped his wanker butt! and the fact that he had such a small penis also encouraged the end, I just couldnt grab it - it was so small, and thin, nothing !!! I did post my problem at the time and you can find it here (I think)! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=17929&highlight=small+penis Good Luck, Please let us know what decision you make! Squirts Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 thanks for your reply tony, but telling me what i should doin the future doesn't exactlyhelp me in the situation i am in right now. And I am not just going to have sex with him just to see if he can fulfill my needs, I mean when and if we do have sex, I want it to be because the moment is right, not because I want to see how he is in bed, that would be a waste of the first time. Anyway, thanks for your input, but it didn't really help. Anyone have any other (helpful) advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 In my wildest imagination I cannot think of any other alternative to sampling the goods but leaving him and finding a guy with a bigger whopper. I promise you, if I knew of a way to enlarge a penis I would present it here. It really doesn't sound like you are into any other alternate means of making love except where a larger penis than your guy's would play an important role. If you aren't willing to give him a try, you have no other alternative given your stated needs. Best of luck to you. I'm very sure a lot of pain and confusion went through your head the moment you learned of his mini status. Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Samantha- If you are in love with him, and truly feel he is "the one" for you...why does it matter? Yes, sex is a huge part of a relationship and over time you work with each other to find what you like regardless of size. There are so many other reasons to be with someone besides sex. If you think he is PERFECT and his ONLY flaw is his size...I honestly think you're rather shallow and have no idea what a relationship is about if you are going to call everything off because of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Okay, I am a little curious here. Why would you accept someone's marriage proposal after ONLY 4 months, if you hadn't even been intimate yet? I can totally understand wanting to wait before jumping into bed with someone, I'm like that myself (I'm 35)......but there's no way in the world I'd agree to marry someone if the extent of intimacy was feeling each other up after 3 months....parTICULARLY when you're both "in love"...... Frankly, I'm also a little surprised that a guy would propose without having made love to the woman he's asking to spend the rest of his life with. I'm not saying that people MUST have sex before marriage.......but if a couple waits to have sex so that they can be 'more sure' as to whether "that person" is the right one for them, they obviously figured that out before the proposal was made. I totally agree with Tony, however.......have sex with him and see for yourself whether he's "got what it takes to please you"......that's the ONLY way you're going to know for sure. Surely you're not going to just dump the "love of your life who you agreed to marry" all because his dick "felt small" when you groped it? After all, it's not the size of the rod that counts, it's how the guy wiggles his worm. Are you talking small as in SHORT? Or small as in the circumference of it? (narrow) If it's short, in your estimation, keep in mind that length has very VERY little bearing on a woman's sexual pleasure. The nerve endings in the vagina are at the OPENING of it.........so whether the guy is 3 inches erect or 9 inches, it makes no difference. And of COURSE you should NEVER EVER EVER tell/imply/insinuate that you think his dick is small.....that would be horribly cruel and rude. He is what he is, he can't change it......and if he is as small as you claim he is, he's likely already very aware of it........and is likely somewhat self conscious about it. So now you're engaged to him...so why haven't you yet had sex? If you're both so in love, enough to agree to spend the rest of your lives together, why aren't you making love? What ages are you both? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 But I was too nieve to realize it was small. LOL My sex life with my ex husband was odd overall, but I must say, that several lovers later, and many inches longer, I must say Mr 3 Incher was one of my best lovers. First of all, you don't even know how he is in bed. In my case, he didn't let the fact that he was small get in the way, he was takin care of stuff as if he had no disadvantage. Not to mention that, but I taught him how to be the best I've EVER had at oral sex. My point is, there are so many ways guys can make up for their "short comings." And personally, you don't know BAD sex, til you've had a well hung man, who thinks that's "enough" .....ick. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 I agree with Firefly. And, if sex is a top priority in your marriage, then find out if you are a match before you fall in love. Personally, I think if two people are really and honestly in love with each other, respect each other, love each other and have made a commitment then the sex will be perfect - no matter the equipment. Techniques will develop over time. It used to be that people had no sexual experience prior to marriage, so there was nothing to compare to. Personally, I think that way is best. But, the majority of divorces are because of sex or money so you need to know where those two items rank in your priorities for a life-long commitment. Would you stay married to a man who, shortly after marriage, had an accident that prevented him from ever having sex again? (in any way) Or would that break the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Sketchy Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 Hey there... I'm having the total opposite problem. The guy I'm seeing is HUGE and I can only imagine that it's going to be one of the most painful experiences of my life... Fortunately he's easy to talk to and I've told him I'm scared $#!%less of how miserably painful it's going to be. He said when the time came he'd be patient and gentle. I guess it's easier to tell a guy he's huge vs. he's tiny. On a seperate note... A girlfriend of mine had your problem, she was dating a guy that had a TINY penis (in all regards, length and girth)... she was sooo turned off by it and thought about ending it with him before giving it a chance. Something possessed her to give it a go. She never mentioned the size to him for fear of hurting his feelings. Take note, this girl had been around a LOT and has seen tons of dick... this was the smallest thing she's ever seen. Low and behold she did the deed and was sprung (dick whiped rather)!!! She could not get enough. She thought she'd never even feel it in her (she was mean to the point she was making fun of his small pecker to all her friends)... but the guy redeemed himself by the way he worked it. As her friends teased her for being with the tiny penis dude... she vows to this day that he was the best lover she's ever been with. I can't promise you that your guy will be the best lay you've ever experienced... but you never know until you try it. If he has even a hint of the fact that his penis is SMALL then I'm sure he's going to go the extra mile to make up for it in technique. Don't make that (testing the product) the only reason for having sex. I mean if you love him enough to consider marrying him. Why can't you have sex with him? There are toy stores that sell vibrators, and dildos... there are plenty of ways he can get you off other than his penis. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon22 Posted March 1, 2003 Share Posted March 1, 2003 So what if he is small, "It's not the size of the boat that counts, it's the motion in the ocean". I stick to that like a priest sticks to the bible. I am not a slut by any means, but I have experienced both ends of the spectrum! Give the man some credit! If you are in love with this man then you wouldn't have to come to this forum to ask people about this. If you are engaged to this man then ride him like the pony express and then come back and let us know how it went. A few positions that will help YOU out to make him go deeper into you are: 1 you on top (ride him like the pony express) 2 have him do you from behind (spanking helps too...kinky:O) 3 missionary, but with your legs over his shoulders(this is the best in my opinion) Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 2, 2003 Share Posted March 2, 2003 Samantha - pay attention to this statement: The nerve endings in the vagina are at the OPENING of it.........so whether the guy is 3 inches erect or 9 inches, it makes no difference. ALL the fun stuff is right at the front part and getting your cervix bumped by a big one isn't the greatest of sensations. Sex isn't about size and shape; it's about technique, caring, learning together. Attitude is a million percent more important than size, girl. I don't think you love him. To me, love transcends stuff like this. After all - what if either of you were to become ill or injured so you couldn't have sex at all or could only have it manually or orally? Marriage is about all the hours spent upright, not just the proportionately short time you spend in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Baubles Posted March 6, 2003 Share Posted March 6, 2003 PLEASE don't bring it up i n conversation w/ him ever! I dated a man like this, that was incredibly small- so small I was in shock. I remember our first night- I was looking for it, and then waiting for it to get bigger- but it never did! Over time I liked him more and more and it was less an issue. I was upset one time when I thought he was critical of me (he hadn't been) and mentioned that I don't criticize his size...it devastated him. Trust me, he is already painfully aware of it, although he may never talk of it. I was crushed when he started to tell me how boys in gym class had criticized it. If you do consider to not continue a relationship, don't hurt him by telling him this is the reason- he may never forgive you and why hurt his self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 6, 2003 Share Posted March 6, 2003 [color=cyan]"if I marry him this is the LAST guy I will ever have sex with"[/color] if you're thinking in those terms, you probably should not have agreed to marry the guy, that's not the thing to focus after agreeing to commit yourself to the guy. If it honestly bugs you that much, just dump him, tell him you've had second thoughts about making a marriage commitment so early in your relationship, then go out and find some well-hung men to play hide the chorizo with. But, I can guarantee that what he looks like, or physically lacks, isn't the most important thing in a relationship. As Moimeme points out, sex is about caring and learning together, and the skill (and openmindedness) you bring to the bed is a big part of it. Believe me, you want a lover who is attentive to your needs and knows how to make you feel wanted and loved and needed sexually, not someone who's only selling point is a big wankie. Link to post Share on other sites
amorsiempre Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 i have to say samantha.. i agree with tony. it was helpful advice... i would of given the same, maybe it just wasnt what you wanted to hear... good luck anyways Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted March 28, 2003 Share Posted March 28, 2003 I think basing a person worth on how good they are sexually is VERY immature. Everything else could be good about him, he could be faithful, honest, trustworthy, hard-working, financial stable, loving, and considerate, even good-looking--but just because his penis is small, he automatically does not measure. Yet, you have men out there who have large penises and treat their women like dirt, and we women wonder why we get dogged and played???? I think we are so backwards when it comes to true love, it's so ridiculous. Yes sex is a part of relationship, but sex does not pay the bills or put food on the table. Great sex doesn't also mean that he would treat you great. Those things are more important than sex. And "testing out the waters" is even more ridiculous. It's like saying "if you can't please me, I'll move on". There are so many books, manuals and things of that nature on the market to teach each other how to make love a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. But we are so impatient in life, want everything ready made and don't want to take the time to work on things in a relationship to make it work or make it better. I'm actually impress that you've waited. If more people waited before they get involve sexually they wouldn't have half the heartache, pain, and unwanted experiences that they have. As far as him having a small penis, according to research and studies read during my psychology class, size does not matter. There are no studies that actually confirm that a larger penis equals better sex. Link to post Share on other sites
shanequa Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Well I guess the right thing to say would be you gotta take some of the good with the bad. That might be better then worrying about if a man is cheating so if everything else is good then go for it and work on getting personal with one another to where you guys can do other things that satisfy you also. Link to post Share on other sites
Willie1Eye Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Ok, the title says it all! This may not even be relevant any longer, and you may have resolved the issue already. With positive results I hope. I am a guy with a small woody. 5 1/2 at the most. It has been that size since, well, since it quit growing. I have always been sensitive about it. Will she feel enough, is she feeling it enough, will she laugh, and on and on.... I am sure there are a number of guys out there who know how it is. BUT! I got over it. It is small and it's mine. I learned how to use my 5 1/2 to the best of my ability. It isn't always the position, certain ones do help, but it is more of the emotion, the moment, how hot she got from the foreplay. (umm remember foreplay?) It isn't a prerequisite, but duh! Think of it as an old car. you can hop in turn it on and make it go with out much thought. It might sputter and die a few times, and you will eventually get there after an unpleasureable ride. But get it warmed up for a while, and it will respond much better. Get to know the ins and outs of that car and you are in for one heck of a ride. Personally, I have gotten women to climax without even getting my pants off. (ladies my number is xxx-xxxx lol) Anyways, the point is: Men with small penises are not sexually challenged. The only disadvantage is in the way it is recieved, not given. So if you love this man as much as you say you do, and are willing to spend the rest of your years with him, aren't you willing to give him a chance to learn to please you. Given that he doesn't already have a few tricks up his sleeve, you can always suggest to him that you might like it different ways. After all, intercourse is a form of communication. Wholly and seperately. Meaning it conveys and requires, physical, verbal, emotional, and mental communication. Think about it, how often does the love of a lifetime come your way? Be thankful you have found yours. Nuff Sed! Link to post Share on other sites
flower Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 My view: You can't have it all so take a pen and list down your priorities. If you cannot convince yourself about accommodating his little size amidst his other virtues, then call it off tactfully. If can accommodate, still should bed him before you tie the knot, just to be sure you really can accommodate! Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 I hope you leave him. He'd be much better off without a woman like you. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Gray - I don't understand your post. Would you marry a woman and vow to spend the rest of your life with her and never have sex with anyone but her if you could not have a fulfilling sex life with her? Being realistic, sex IS an important part of marriage. I don't think she's being shallow at all. But she needs to find out if it is possible to have a fulfilling sex life with him before she decides. I know this is a touchy subject with men, especially smaller sized men, but wouldn't you rather know the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 If your statements are to be taken at face value, we are to believe that: - you love this man - you don't believe in rushing into sex - you accepted his marriage proposal without having had sex - you "accidentally" discovered that his penis is small - you don't want to have sex with him now even though you are engaged - you don't want to spend your life with a man with a small penis - you have rejected Tony's advice to have sex and see how things go What alternative are you hoping for exactly? If sexual compatibility is something you have to be confident about prior to marriage, then why did you accept his proposal prior to having sex? Seems to me that this is somewhat reckless. You've only got three choices as I see it: 1. have sex and see how it goes 2. accept him as he is on the assumption that your love for him and his for you will allow you each to grow into the perfect lover for the other 3. dump him now Personally, I'd vote for #2 but I am not getting the feeling that your love is all that strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Originally posted by cindy0039 Gray - I don't understand your post. I'm sorry Cindy, I'll try to tone it down a bit. She has not had sex with this man. She discovers he might have a tiny penis. She posts on an internet forum asking others for advice as to whether or not she should continue dating a man who could have a small penis. This, judging a person for physical attributes, in such a trivial manner opens up judging by all other physical attributes... Should I date this cripple? Should I date this fat person? Should I date someone uglier than me? Should I date this black person? Is that really what you're suggesting?!? Your judgement of others amazes me. If she had had sex with him and said that his tiny penis was unable to please her, then fair enough, who wants to have bad sex their whole life? But no, you'd rather judge the book by its cover right Cindy? ed: Oh, and I appreciate the catty insult, very classy Cindy. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Gray - no need for a personal attack dude. Back off a little. First of all, I'm not suggesting she shouldn't marry the guy just because he has a small penis. I'm saying sex is an important part of marriage and she needs to figure out whether she can have a satisfying sex life with this man before she commits to him FOREVER. That's all. Secondly, you seem to think I attacked you personally, which I did not. I was making a general reference - but perhaps I struck a nerve?? Hey, I'm not a cat person anyway...my preference is dogs. Link to post Share on other sites
Willie1Eye Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 Let's not fight amongst ourselves, kids... ^__~ I cant make up her mind for her. But personally, I think she is not ready for marraige. It is a life long commitment. (well it's supposed to be, anyways) Sex does play a very important role therein. Makin' babies, passing time, having fun, and LOVING EACH OTHER! That's what it is all about in the first place. Not how big a man is or how wide a woman is. If she is willing to base her decision on the size of his penis, then she definitely has some growing to do! nuff sed Link to post Share on other sites
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