Is there such thing as being too in love

[Jerrysgirl4life]

I have been with my guy for 1 year and 7 months. He is my best friend and I can live without him. My problem is that I read little mishaps or problems as a sign. I take things to the heart alot but I haven't told him this yet. Just last night he left my house earlier than usual because he wasn't feeling to good. On a tuesday he would normally leave at around 10:15 pm but he left at 8:30pm. I didn't feel bad about it because he didn't look well at all. He normally calls me when he gets home every single night. Last night he didn't call me at all. He live with his grandparents so I don't call there much because they are really old. But it bothers me that he didn't call me. I see that as a sign that he is slowly straying away from me. He considers me his best friend and we both don't have any friends but each other. We are like peas and carrots most of the time. We never lie to each other and is completely honest with each other. I think I am just way too in love. I still have the feelings like when we first told each other we love each other. Should I be feeling so hurt about last night? Am I overreacting? I can't call him till later on so I have to keep these feelings riled up all day. I don't know what to think. Help.

[Tony T]

I think you're just being way too sensitive. I would be careful to tell him about how you feel because nobody likes to have a microscope up their butt and have every little action or inaction analyzed.

 

Understand that people are human, they have moods, they have different levels of emotions at different times. Also understand that men tend to separate romance from other major problems of the day so if he gets home and there's something to be done, he may forget to call. All you need to tell him is just how important it is for him to give you a quick call when he gets home to let you know he arrived safely.

 

People will never, ever, ever act exactly like you want them to...ESPECIALLY the man you love. You may be thinking about him so much and anticipating certain behaviors that just aren't going to happen sometimes. Cut him some slack.

 

If over an extended period of time, he stops doing a lot of the romantic things he used to, well...that's normal too. Men are basically hunters. When they have their lady, they put the trophy on the mantle and go about their business. Men do not put the energy into eternal courting although they differ from each other as to just how romantic they will be as time moves on.

 

If you have the expectation that your guy will forever be the same that he was when the two of you first feel in love and for the months following, you need to go take a cold shower and talk to some of your older married friends.

 

I don't mean to rain on your parade but it's just not like that. Yes, it is very nice, comfortable, stable, etc. but relationships eventually settle into a range of activity that is not nearly as intense as the beginning. And that's not a bad thing. Humans, by nature, get used to things and even take them for granted sometimes. If he ever starts taking you for granted, that's when you have to kick his butt.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Men are also the ones that lose that intense romantice feeling first. Just because it's not intense anymore doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or that he loves you less. This is the natural course of a relationship. I know. When I got married about a year and 6 months ago, I was upset when my husband begin to stop doing those romantic things that he did when he we were dating. But as Tony said, I spoke to married friends and found out that what was going on between us was suppose to go on. That's the part about relationships that people don't talk about. It's not all candlelight dinners, red roses, and chocolate candy.

 

However, if you feel that he's straying away, it sounds like you maybe dealing with some abandonment issues. Did something happen before in your life that has you super sensitive to the things your boyfriend does? If so that's something you're gonna have to work out on your own. You boyfriend can't do that and always wanting constant assurance that he's going to be there could be smothering to him.

[DontKnowJake]

Just wanted to add a little something here - trust your instincts!!

 

I've just come out of a long (5 year) relationship where I kind-of knew in the back of my head I wanted to end it 2 years earlier, but didn't, as I'm not one to quit when the going gets tough. But I should have paid more attention to those little signs back then, as she ended up leaving me recently. As much as I tell myself its probably for the best, I can't help thinking about the decision I didn't make back then. I'm not saying leave your guy or anything, just trust your own instincts.

 

And good luck!